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How to Fulfill Your Resolutions. Step 1.

How to Fulfill Your Resolutions. Step 1.

Happy New Year 2020! I hope you had a beautiful Holiday Season, and you opened a fresh new chapter of your life’s book.

The New Year’s wishes sound nice and hopeful and now we are back to a routine. The question is – will you leave those wishes as your wishful thinking or are you going to make them happen?

How are you going to spend this year of your life? What intentions do you have for this year? Do you have a CLEAR VISION of WHERE YOU ARE GOING? If you do not have a vision, if you do not have a goal for a specific purpose – you are going nowhere. Then it’s not you who designs your life, but the outside circumstances created by random events and other people’s agendas and their decisions. This way, you will live another year day by day reacting to whatever circumstances throw at you and trying to handle it all.

But what about your purpose, your goals that you would like to fulfill?

Many disregard the goal setting, saying “the resolutions and goal setting doesn’t work” or, “It’s impossible”. They look at the goal and if it seems not achievable at that point, they say “It can’t be done, so why try.”

Before the car accident, I didn’t even have the concept of creating the life you desire by achieving your goals. But after losing my legs and ability to use my left arm, I took the goal achievement seriously. I could not come in to terms with my new way of life being shut at my house with no opportunity to have a life of full value, and I made the decision to change it all.My dream seemed to be an absurd. Unachievable fantasy. But I never questioned whether it was possible or not, nor did I allow myself to think in terms of how big my aspirations were nor how small chances were of making them come true. I decided what I wanted and started aiming to achieve it.

Since my ultimate vision to live a full life and not to depend on anybody seemed absolutely impossible, I began with small goals and small steps to move myself forward. When I was discharged from the hospital and began my rehabilitation process, my first goals were to be self-sufficient in my simple daily routine: independently roll over in bed, sit up from a lying position; then independently dress, make a cup of coffee and my breakfast – all using one hand. Now those memories make me smile. At the time, every such activity was a huge challenge to me, requiring tremendous effort, consistent attempts and perseverance. Every time I was able to do something independently was a huge victory to me and a step closer to my ultimate aspiration.

By aiming and achieving my little goals, it strengthened me and increased my confidence for achieving my greater goals. Over time, these small achieved successes compounded; they changed my position. I came out of ICU having absolutely no strength and no ability to do anything independently, except open/close my eyes or speak (and even the latter required efforts), and after half of the year I was staying at the Orthopedic Center in another city able to take care of myself independently and training to walk with artificial legs. As time flew by, I was setting bigger goals which, three years later, resulted in traveling independently across the globe to the USA, laying the groundwork for completely changing my life circumstances.

With God’s help and the strength that I received from Him, I successfully overcame my obstacles and today I live independently in spite of my injuries. I realized the dream that at some point seemed an absurd, an unachievable fantasy. Goals and aspirations can have a significant value in life if you take the process seriously and work consistently and diligently to achieve it.

The team of BECOMING UNSTOPPABLE wishes you a purposeful, meaningful, abundant and successful New Year of 2020!

So how to set goals and how to achieve them? In the upcoming posts I will share with you further tips on how to achieve your goals. This is the model that transformed my life after the tragedy and worked every time I wanted to achieve a goal. 

Meanwhile, the first step is – determine the vision of what you want to implement in your life. Vision – it is the destination where you want to arrive, the ultimate picture of your success. It’s the point of reference you are always working toward, and when all your plans and goals are fully accomplished, this is where you will be.

  • Where do you want to be in 10 years? 5 years? A year from now?
  • What does success look like for you, for your life?
  • What needs to change in your life for you to feel content and good about you/your life?
  • What would make your year a great year?
  • What will things look like after you’ve been successful?

See the picture in your mind. Before you set your goals as stepping stones, it’s important to have a clear vision, your final destination of where you want to go in life. It has to be clear, so you know exactly where you are going.

Don’t worry about how to implement it or how difficult it seems to achieve it. First, know exactly WHAT you want to achieve and WHY. The HOW will come later.

Pray about it; bring it before the Lord in your prayer. Some choose to meditate, some choose to visualize, or use hypnotic methods and other. I personally bring my vision and my plans to the Lord in my prayer. Prayer does make a difference in the physical realm. I experienced a tremendous blessing when I began practicing what’s written in the Holy Scriptures. In fact, many unexpected good turns and blessings came into my life after I prayed about and surrendered my vision, my plans to the Lord.

Commit your works to the LORD, and your thoughts will be established. Proverbs 16:3

Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalms 37:5

Ask Him to help you accomplish it. Ask the Lord to direct you according to His will and give you the wisdom how to successfully implement those plans. Ask Him to bless your efforts so that you would not fail, but achieve your goals.

In the next post, we’ll talk further about important aspects of goal setting and their achievement.

Be Unstoppable. It‘s a Choice.

Inga

P.s. My personal story of how I overcome the tragedy and insurmountable obstacles, and successfully achieved my vision, you can find in my book “UNSTOPPABLE. It’s a Choice.” In addition to a story that will inspire you, you will find helpful tips that will empower you in your personal journey.

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2020 in Uncategorized

 

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“COMMIT YOUR WORKS TO THE LORD…” What A Difference It Made When I Began Practicing It!

Commit your works to the Lord,
And your thoughts will be established. Proverbs 16:3

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass. Psalms 37:5

When I began doing what these Bible verses say and it became my way of life, it was such a delightful surprise to see what a big difference it made in my life! First, I avoided some very big mistakes only because of this. In addition, my aspirations to achieve goals and realize my vision were blessed all along and, ultimately, they were crowned with success. Honestly, the journey of achieving goals and fulfilling plans becomes simply amazing when, before you begin to take any action, you bring your vision and your plans in prayer before God. It all goes very differently when the Lord becomes a collaborator/partner in what you do.

When I think of it, you know what comes to my mind? My biggest decisions, which highly impacted my life and even directed my destiny and career, were born in the prayer, reading the Bible, or inspirational books. And, they were the best decisions I have made!

Once, at the beginning of my journey learning to live by faith, I found myself in a very difficult situation, and I had to make a decision between two choices. There was a fierce battle between the logic calculation and my inner feelings. Mixed up in my thoughts, calculations, and feelings, I didn’t even know which choice was better, and I made a choice that seemed logical based on the facts. But there was no peace inside. Anxiety wouldn’t leave me even for a moment. My friend, after hearing about my situation, my thoughts and feelings, said: “Inga, never make decisions based on fear. Fear is your enemy. Do what gives you inner peace.” At that moment it seemed as though my eyes were opened! I recognized the Lord spoke to me through my girlfriend because I myself was too mixed up to know what to do.

That evening, I asked the Lord to help me deal with this situation. I asked him to direct my heart and thoughts and give me inner peace for the decision that I must make. The next day, to my surprise, I had a supernatural peace within for a choice, which I initially rejected. But this decision was against my aspirations and my dreams! It seemed that by making this choice, I would make it only worse for myself. It was not easy. I had to either go by my understanding and calculations or trust the Lord. Realizing that the Lord directed me just as I asked Him to, I decided to fully trust the Lord and surrender. Holding on to my faith that He could restore what was destroyed and create new opportunities where there were none, I completely changed my previous plans and did what the Lord directed me to do.

After one prayer, the Lord radically changed my decision! This decision literally changed the course of my life, and it turned out to be a much better one than what I originally intended to do. God really created the opportunity where seemed none and created new circumstances in replacement of what was destroyed. Later I saw that I would have made a huge mistake if I had followed through with the original decision, even though at that time it seemed the most logical and best choice.

Since then, whenever I wanted to implement my plans or achieve any goals, before doing anything I brought it in prayer before the Lord to receive His direction and a blessing. When I needed to make a decision, I would make my choice based not on my personal calculations, fears or doubts of “What if …”, but by His word (God will not bless that which contradicts His word), as well as by the inner peace that I received after the prayer. I asked the Lord to direct my heart and thoughts to what His will is for my life. When I had a vision of something that I wanted to realize in my life, I asked Him to help me accomplish it. When I had specific plans for something, I asked the Lord to give me the wisdom and knowledge of how to successfully implement those plans. I asked Him to send me people who would help me. I asked Him to bless my efforts so that I could successfully achieve my goals.

And, I am so grateful that I started doing this! The Lord always answered and guided me. Frankly, I avoided even more mistakes only because I prayed about it before doing anything, and after the prayer, my decision changed. In addition, my plans were successfully implemented, and often it seemed that some invisible power was lining up favorable circumstances, connected me with the right people and helped me to achieve successful results. My life really became much easier and better when I started practicing these scriptures!

God is faithful to His word. I’m sure you’ll see a big difference in your life if these verses become part of your lifestyle and where you begin fulfilling your plans.

Commit your works to the Lord,
And your thoughts will be established. Proverbs 16:3

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass. Psalms 37:5

Peace and blessings to you! ~ Inga

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Who Will Design Your 2019?

Happy New Year!

As we begin a new year, we all are determined and enthusiastic and hoping this year will be a better year. And then, we get into a routine of daily to-dos, challenges, problems…

Who will end up designing your 2019? Random outside events? …Or YOU?

If you won’t be in charge of how your days go and which direction your year will take, then random events and circumstances will be in charge of your year. You will end up just reacting to whatever happens in your life.

You know, for many years I thought that my life depended on what my circumstances allowed me to do and to experience. I did not really have any aspirations, and I didn’t even think about any goals. I did not even have the concept of having a vision of what I wanted to achieve and deliberately creating what I wanted in my life. My understanding was that my life just depends on whatever happens on a day-to-day basis. With that mindset, I was going nowhere, only daily reacting to random events and the outside world’s impact on my life.

I lived this way until I got into the car accident and my life was brutally changed. Only then I learned that there is another way to live – you can design your life. You can set your mind on what you want to accomplish in your life and deliberately begin fulfilling it. I didn’t know then that this is what I was going to do. I just despised what the crash has created and I deliberately began changing my circumstances. I did what I had never done – I decided what I wanted in order to feel happy, set goals that would lead me to my vision and began living with intention. With time, by achieving one goal after another, I totally changed my life.

Now I know – Life is what you make it. And it begins with your awareness and decision to live with intention.

Don’t allow random outside events to design your year! YOU take the lead.

How? First, ask yourself what you really want.

  • What would make your year meaningful and purposeful?
  • What needs to happen for you to feel confident, truly happy and content?
  • What needs to change so you feel better about yourself and your life?
  • Is there anything you would like to do, to learn or challenge yourself and achieve?
  • What would make your life exciting and fulfilling?
  • What do you think the Lord wants you to fulfill?

Once you know exactly what you want, make a strategy how you’re going to make it happen. What are the possible ways to achieve it? What goals would bring you to your vision? You might say it’s impossible. But please hear me. I’ve been there. The life that I get to live today is not a mere coincidence nor am I just a lucky one. I deliberately aimed for it. And when I started planning how to change my circumstances and restore my life after the car accident, it was hard to even consider that my vision was possible. I was advised many times to think realistically – what I wanted was simply not possible. All circumstances were against me. Everywhere I looked there were tremendous difficulties and unchangeable obstacles in front of me.

But I knew that with God’s help I could change those circumstances. And indeed, when my efforts seemed powerless, the Lord stepped in and in the most incredible way, He arranged favorable situations, connected me with people who were willing to help me, and He created new opportunities where there seemed none. It was unbelievable! What you can’t do the Lord will. Just trust Him. Those who trust in the Lord will never be ashamed. But you need to be bold and step out of your comfort zone and design your year by living on purpose.

Live with intention every day. Always keep in mind where you are headed and be consistent in your efforts to achieve your aspiration. Big changes don’t happen overnight nor does success suddenly show up as ‘Luck’. It takes time. It takes relentless work. It’s your daily choices to make the effort and consistent actions compounded will deliver the successful result.

Please understand – you are the author of your life story. Your year and your life are in your hands, not in the hands of your circumstances or random outside events. With God’s help, you can have an incredible life.

Live with intention.  Make your 2019 an extraordinary year!

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Posted by on January 8, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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How to be Resilient, How to Recover from the Adversity? Step 2. Perspective.

How to be Resilient, How to Recover from the Adversity? Step 2. Perspective.

Step2 postEN

Now that I look back and analyze myself what empowered me to recover my life after the devastating crash, I see there were several aspects that worked together intertwined. I talk about my faith a lot because the Lord has given me the strength, tenacity, opportunities, courage, endurance and a blessing in everything I aimed for. I would not have made it without the Lord. But then there are other aspects that I don’t talk much about – besides the Lord’s intervention and His blessing I work with myself a lot. There are several components that helped me to recover from my personal adversity:

  1. God’s blessing and unshakable faith
  2. Self-management
  3. Personal Action and relentless effort to do the best I can do under any circumstances.

Self-management plays a significant role and I want to elaborate on that aspect.  Overcoming deep depression, emerging from hopelessness, breaking through the impossible odds, achieving goals and positive mindset is not a coincidence, but it is a result. Or, in other words, it’s the fruit of my efforts that nobody sees. It’s the result of hard relentless work.

Have you thought about why some people give up and others overcome seemingly insurmountable situations which confront them? Why some people get depressed and give in to circumstances and others refuse to give in and find a way to improve their lives? Is it that some are stronger than others? I don’t think so. I believe that what sets those people apart is their ability to manage themselves.

What is self-management? It is the skill to master your perspective, your thought patterns, your thought focus and your feelings. It’s the ability to manage yourself. When you have the skills necessary to manage your inner state, you will be able to respond to life’s events in a way that empowers you. It is imperative to be able to manage your outlook and your inner state at all times because you make different choices and different decisions depending upon how you view a situation and how you feel at the time your decisions are made. Would you agree that you make different decisions when you feel hopeful, confident, tenacious, strong and determined, and make entirely different decisions when you feel hopeless and helpless, defeated, doubting and pessimistic?

There was a time in my life when I realized that in addition to God’s blessing, my experience greatly depended on how well I managed myself. My biggest eye opener and probably one of the most significant ones was when I realized that my experience about one or another event depended upon how I choose to look at it.

I learned and realized that thoughts and emotions don’t just “happen” to me, leaving me powerless against them. I choose what I think and what I focus on, what meaning I give to the events and what I am going to do about them. Nobody and no event has the power to make me feel in any particular way unless I allow it. I am the one who chooses my response, and that depends on my perspective and my interpretation of what it means to me.

We always in our mind communicate to ourselves what things mean to us, how we feel about occurred events and what we are going to do about it all. When we are doing well, we are excited and think about how thrilled we are that things are going well,  what it took for us to achieve success, and having an even stronger belief of what is possible for us, we move on to another venture. Likewise, in the event of various complex circumstances, we weigh our current situation, ask ourselves why it happened, and make conclusions and decisions for the future. While we are thinking about one or the other situation, we feel certain emotions. It’s easy to see the good side and feel positive emotions when the circumstances are in our favor. But it’s more challenging to feel positive if it’s a painful and difficult event for us.

One of the combining details that affect our inner state and our subsequent decisions is our how we interpret it and how we communicate it to ourselves. Depending on our perspective we will give the meaning to that particular event, and from there follows our emotions and decisions what we are going to do next.

Having the same event, we have a choice of how we will look at it and how we will interpret it.

  • Is this a punishment or is this a lesson for me?
  • Is this a crash or is it just the end of something that will be replaced by something that really needs to take place in my life?
  • Is this an unrecoverable tragedy or is it a test for me?
  • Is this a loss or an opened opportunity to have new and better?
  • Is this a dead end or is it a challenge for me to find a way because I know there must be the way?
  • Is this too much for me to handle or is this opportunity for me to overcome a new challenge and become stronger?
  • Is this a problem or is it a challenge for me to find a way, to improve and create what I want?

Let’s take a very simple example. Let’s say Dave come to work and finds out that he was let go. What is he going to do about it? It greatly depends on his perspective. He can see it as he’s not good enough and they are getting rid of him, it’s a big problem, it’s the end of his security and well-being. How will Dave feel? Most likely he will feel defeated, not needed, self-insecure, stressed, fearful for his future, not confident to look for another well-paid job. But what if this is an opportunity for him to get a better position? What if this door closes, so he would open another door to have a career that he really wants? Maybe this is an opportunity for him to apply for the position that he always dreamed about or maybe even create his own business? How will Dave feel having this perspective? Most likely he will feel having a new beginning, intrigued, excited about the change to a better, opportunity to learn new things and improve, eager to take action, curious, hopeful. Having this kind of perspective will make him feel in a whole different way and a very different behavior than in the first case. A person can have two different perspectives about the same situation and both of them will create totally different outcomes.

Let’s take a gambling game. It is just a game, nothing more.  But how we feel about it depends on how we look at it and what gambling game means to us. We can look at it as a fun time with friends, the excitement of a mystery of what’s going to happen next and a great opportunity to gain an unlimited amount of money with no effort and work.  Also, we can look at it as a waste of time, opening doors to something that can bring a great destruction into our lives and it is just throwing away our money that we can spend on something more meaningful.  It’s all how we look at it will make us feel about that object or any event.

What if we look at circumstances or occurred events as just the facts? The fact itself can’t make us feel in any particular way.  It is just a plain fact same way as an object. It’s how we look at the fact will shape our attitude and our feelings about it. Events, the same way as objects or activities are simply neutral matter and they have both likes and dislikes, depending on what it means to people. Our perspective is the foundation of what meaning we give to the event or any circumstance, and depending on that we will feel about it in a particular way and will choose what we are going to do about it.

 

Perspective depends greatly on our beliefs. We have a choice to believe that everything that happens in our lives is in God’s control and everything happens for the purpose and for the better. We also may believe that there is no God, life is whatever events happen to us, it’s all about luck and most often life’s not fair. We may believe that with our decisions we can shape our destiny, and we may believe that all life’s events and circumstances are out of our control; therefore, it is meaningless to work hard and make the effort. We may believe that we are not good enough and are not really worthy of love and strong family, and we may choose to believe that everybody is worthy and can have it, so we do as well and we will have it when the right time comes. We may have a belief that we will not succeed anyway because we are not worthy of success or we are simply not as lucky as others, and we can believe that success is not a mere luck but a result of our efforts and we will be blessed and will succeed in everything we aim for.

These are just several examples of general beliefs about God, life, love and us as people, which shape our perspective.  Belief is nothing more than what we are convinced about, which we can choose as well. I cannot stress enough how critical it is to pay attention and choose your belief and perspective.

In order to show it better and make it more real, I will take my own life. The car accident that I was involved in was something that I could have never expected nor was I ready for such drastic event. I was 22 years old, and this event was a major turning point in my life and my family members. The result of that crash was that I lost a person, who I was dating at the time (he was killed), and lost everything that made my life fulfilling.  In addition to losing it all, having multiple injuries and losing both of my legs and having my left arm fully paralyzed, made me totally helpless and not able to take care of myself at all.  From being active, joyous and having strong potential to be successful in life, suddenly I found myself helpless in bed not being able to move or do anything independently, except see, feel and speak a little bit.  My life was changed overnight.

There were many different opinions on why it happened, questions about my destiny and advice what I should do with my life at that point. I have heard people had ideas that God has punished me. Others said probably this was my destiny and I should just accept it. “Such is your fate…he broke your destiny” was a very common conclusion, implying that I needed to accept it and give in because there was nothing I could do to get it all back or make my life better. I also had to hear advice not to try so hard pursuing my dream, because what I wanted was unrealistic. I disagreed with them all and decided to fight for my life because I had a different belief.

Today, one of the things I am most grateful for to my Creator is that from the very beginning I had a positive perspective about what had happened and faith of what my future would be like. I had unshakable belief that my life’s under God’s control and therefore, I will not fear. There was a reason why I got into this crash and also there is a purpose why I survived, even though I was given 30% to live.  I believed there must be a serious reason why this had happened. Even though I didn’t understand many things, but I believed there’s a purpose in everything and Lord was going to restore my life. I didn’t believe that this event happened for me to spend the rest of my life being in regret and depression, watching how my life passes by in sadness and restricted lifestyle.

I decided that I would not be a victim and wouldn’t spend my life continuously thinking about what had happened. I refused to be in self-pity or collect sympathy from others. The decision to restore my life no matter how much effort it would cost fueled me with unbreakable determination. I had a very clear understanding that my destiny was not going to be “broken” because of the event that had happened. I believed I could change my destiny the way I wanted and with God’s help that’s exactly what I was determined to do. I was going to live a full life in spite of my injuries. My understanding about it was so bright and clear, as if I were given a palette of paint, being told that I could draw only black or gray house, and I knew that I could use all the colors I wanted, and paint not only a house, but also blossoming gardens, green trees, colorful flowers, bright yellow sun, blue sky…

I did not know how my situation could possibly resolve to a better, but I knew that I would live well. I completely ignored people’s sayings “Such is your fate…” I did not listen to what anybody said about my position in life and their opinions about my goals that I wanted to achieve. I always had a vision of how I wanted my life to be, believed that it was possible to implement it and did everything I could do to make it become my reality.

I set the goals for myself, which step-by-step transformed my life from not being able to speak, move or do anything independently to traveling from Europe to the United States by myself and building my life all over again. I had a vision that I would live a fully active lifestyle in spite of my injuries, consistently worked toward my goal, and today I get to live my dream that seemed nearly impossible.

Now, after a while, I clearly see that if I also believed that God has punished me, I would have spent the rest of my life in misery, thinking that I would not have anything beautiful in my destiny. If I also had looked at my circumstances “realistically” as many did, I would not have even aimed for goals that I did. If I had agreed with people, who had their own beliefs about destiny and told me that I should just accept what had happened and let it be the way it was because such was my fate – probably I would still be spending my days being stuck at home having no access to a full life. If I believed that we can have only that, which circumstances allow, I still would be imprisoned by the walls of my home, watching how my youth pass by me and all I have is a dull existence.

My belief shaped the perspective that gave me hope and empowered me to take action to change my circumstances and create the life that I envisioned.  My perspective about this event and my future gave a birth to the attitude that I can’t and won’t give up on my life, but will take action to improve everything. My beliefs strengthened and encouraged me that I would succeed. I did not allow my loss to ruin my desire to live a full joyous life. Opposite, my loss gave a birth within to a burning desire to live and aspiration to achieve my dreams. I did not allow my desperate situation to destroy my faith. Opposite, my faith became stronger than it ever was. My adversity revealed to me the values that I never saw before. My belief and attitude made me strong, persistent and unstoppable.

 

As all of my above examples show, the same situation can have totally different outcomes, depending on which perspective we choose. Some beliefs are unconscious, and they come from people’s backgrounds, religious beliefs, experience, philosophy or other people’s opinions and their experience. We might be surprised how our beliefs are affected by other people’s beliefs or philosophy. Furthermore, based on that we make decisions that shape our lives. But the good thing is that we can change it at any time. If we are aware of our beliefs and our perspective, we can manage it and choose the response that will empower us.

If you believe that God does not give you more than you can cope with and there is a reason for everything, it will give you the confidence that you can manage it, and the solution is ahead of you. It will give you tenacity and encourage you to handle the adversity in the best possible way. After some time you might even see that particularly this difficult situation was for your good because it directed your life path toward your dream, it tested you, developed necessary character traits and gave you more wisdom. To be honest, I was shocked when I realized this in my own life. That’s why I am grateful today for all those hardships.

The quality of your life and your destiny is determined not by the events that take place in your life, but what you do afterward. While you do not have control over other people and a lot of times you do not have control over what happens in your life, you do have a choice of how you look at it all and what you are going to do about it. Depending on your perspective and decision what you are going to do next, you will have subsequent events and this way you shape your destiny.

Therefore, pay close attention to your beliefs and your mindset. What do you believe about the event that is going on right now in your life? What does this mean to you?

Choose wisely. And, Be Strong. Be Determined and Relentless. Be Unstoppable.

Blessings to you, until the next time.

Inga

 

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Make Your Life a Masterpiece

Now, as my major event is over (one of my duties at work is organize annual fundraiser), I am happy to be able to focus again on editing and improving my book “Unstoppable”. As I was editing my last chapter of the book, which summarizes many experiences and lessons about choices, I was inspired to share a part of it with you. 🙂 I hope you will enjoy it. Please leave me your feedback, it is truly very valuable to me.

 

…I don’t understand many things. But what I do know that it’s not what happens to us and not really what people do to us what determines the quality of our lives, but how we respond to it and what we choose to do about it. Sure, we don’t have a choice of what happens to us or what other people’s choices are, but we always have a choice what we are going to do afterward. We always have a choice to complain, blame and spend our lives in misery and regret. But we also have a choice to get up and shake off the dust, accept the responsibility and relentlessly move on creating the life we desire. And that will make us either a victim who blames someone else for the unhappiness, or it will make us the unbreakable fighter, who gets to fulfill our intention in spite of all because we never stopped and never gave up.

I do know that we can achieve anything we set our minds to, if we truly desire it, do whatever it takes to achieve it and have unshakable faith that we are going to succeed. I do know that all things are possible with God if we believe. I don’t understand how it works out that way, but I’ve experienced this countless times and now I do know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are chosen according to His purpose, just as it’s written in the Bible. This has taught me a great lesson not to be stressed or terrified when things don’t go my way; all works together for good – even problems.

I also know that our own daily choices and decisions create subsequent events and ultimately direct our destiny one or another way. Sometimes, our one choice – ONE Single Decision – can literally direct our life journey one or another direction. Painful ad even devastating mistakes have taught me to be very careful with decisions I make. Also, our daily, weekly, monthly choices compounded deliver their results as well.  They may seem quite insignificant, and even they may not even appear like choices. But they are. And, those little choices repeated on a continuous basis over time soon will deliver its fruit.  Every time we decide to do something or not is a choice. We stand at those crossroads many times in life. They might not even feel like crossroads; yet, they are.  And the choice of which path we take literally directs our destiny.

 

You may make numerous mistakes yet and will fall down, but it’s not your mistakes what show who you are. It’ s whether you choose to get up each and every time and learn from your mistakes that show who you are. It’s what you choose to do with all that happens in your life that will make your life worth living or miserable.

Don’t waste your precious time for things that don’t matter. This way you will only create the life that doesn’t really matter. Use the given time to design a purposeful and fulfilling life. Make your life count.

Lay a firm foundation for yourself that you will always make a choice that will align with your purpose. You will always make a choice to overcome and do the best you can under any circumstances. Make a non-negotiable decision that you will never give up, no matter what it takes for you to take another step.

 

Remember, it’s all about the choices you make. We all have choices, and we are going to have what we choose.

 

I have learned that our destiny will greatly depend on whether we choose life according to the Lord’s will or life according to our own ways. What I do know is that living in a righteous way before the Lord God and trusting Him wholeheartedly at all times is going to bring a much more secure, fulfilling and purposeful life. And after all, we will have a joyous life that will last the eternity for our soul’s existence does not end the journey here on the earth. By bringing you my experience, I want to inspire you to choose wisely. Our Father God has His will for us and yet He has given us a freedom of a choice.

15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, 16 in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, 18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;20 that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; (Deuteronomy 30:15-20)

 

So, I invite you to take a deep breath with me. Let’s you and I choose life. Let’s continue on creating the lives that the Lord has called us to live.

Life is not a rehearsal. You get to do it only once.

Life is like an art.  Your decisions shape and consistent daily actions create this unique piece of art.

Make your life a masterpiece!

Inga

IngaMIV_1

 

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Feel defeated by problems and failed from past mistakes? Turn this around and make your experience work for you.

Happy New Year to you! I hope you enjoyed the beautiful Holiday Season, sharing your time with family and loved ones. And now, it’s a new year. It’s a new beginning. I noticed that in December more people have subscribed to my Blog. You made me smile, and I thank you for that!

As we all start a new year, many of us take the time to see what kind of year it was for us, and then we make new resolutions for the new year. This time I am inspired to write an article about how to deal with past mistakes or failure to achieve goals in a way that will empower you, instead drowning into gloomy feeling of failure and regret. Usually, among all the goodness and joy of success, life also has storms, and I want to share something that will empower you, if you did have some problems and failure to meet your goals successfully. Also, I want to share a resource about goals that will give you some ideas and insights how to actually achieve your goals and implement your New Year resolutions. This is a video with Michael Hyatt. I personally found this video very valuable, and you will see the link to it at the end.

But before looking into new goals and new resolutions, I wanted to share what I call a Self-Management tool that has greatly empowered me in my own journey. Every one of us go through trials, difficulties and we don’t always achieve all of our goals. Normally, looking back into difficult situations or goals that we wished to achieve but for whatever reason we didn’t, doesn’t make us feel good, right? 🙂 It may make us feel disappointed, upset, sad, failed and similar. Well, there is something you can do to turn this around. You still can feel the progress and and find the value when you look at your problems and failure to implement your goals. It is important because not having control over your own thoughts and feelings about your past mistakes makes a big impact on your esteem and confidence, which automatically affects your decisions and actions in the future. It all ties up in one unit. Our successful or not successful results greatly depend on our inner state. It is just one of the many key components, but is a critical one.

Normally, difficulties bring up negative emotions. Failure to achieve goals cause pain as well. But here is the trick: you will feel negative about it all only if you look at it from a perspective that makes you focus on the pain, hardship, failure and defeat. What if you look at it from a different perspective? Every situation has two sides of the coin –  good and bad.  You already know what the bad side looks like, and dwelling on it will only make you miserable. So, instead of focusing on the hardship and pain, asking yourself questions that bring even more pain, shift your focus on the other side – what is the value of it all?  Instead of dwelling on the fact that you did not achieve what you were aiming for or blaming yourself for making poor choices and wrong decisions, ask yourself questions, which will deliver answers that will  show you the value in all that had happened. Look at the good side of the coin and spend more time analyzing that side. You will be surprised what you will see! You will  see very valuable lessons in those situations. You will know what Not to do and what you can do better next time. You will have valuable insights. You will see what Lord was doing with your heart behind those difficult circumstances. You will learn something new about yourself. You will see testimonies of the power of prayer and unshakable faith. You will see a lot of good in all those problems and not achieving goals. I personally don’t even regret about tough times, because I see a great value in it all. I would not like to repeat it, but I honestly am glad I have gone through it and would not trade it now, because I see a lot of lessons that will greatly benefit me in the future.

So how to turn this around? First of all, ask yourself a question that will deliver you the answers that will empower you instead of the answers that will make you dive in to sadness and defeat. Ask yourself questions that will make you see the value in your experience, will equip you with lessons for the future and will give you direction what you can do to improve your circumstances and your strategy to implement your vision.

If you had made poor decisions or faced some tough problems, some of the questions you can ask yourself:

“What am I supposed to learn from this?”

“What insight does it bring to me?”

“What have I learned from this particular situation, which I would not have learned otherwise?”

“What purpose does this have in my journey?”

“What conclusions and lessons am I getting, so I know how to do better in the future?”

If you miss your goal and did not get to implement your vision, you may ask yourself:

“What can I learn from this?”

“What held me back from achieving it?”

“What do I need to change in order to get it this time?”

“What skills or knowledge do I need to acquire?”

“What can I extract from this experience that is beneficial for my future efforts to achieve my goal?”

Asking the right question will bring your attention to the value instead of the failure. Then, be in charge of your Focus. You will see that, which you choose to focus on. Are you going to focus on your poor choices and blame yourself for it, or are you going to focus on the lesson and the value this situation has brought into your life? Are you going to focus on the fact that you missed your goal and feel like a failure, or are you going to focus on the lesson and insights that you have extracted and will be determined to get it this time? This internal process will have a great impact on your inner state and your future decisions.

I am not saying we should neglect poor decisions and just be “positive“, pretending that everything is fine, no.  It is necessary to face the truth, but the purpose of it is to learn and see where we need to make changes, instead of blaming ourselves and feeling bad about it all. Make yourself a rule – the only reason for me to look back to my mistakes, wrong choices or not achieved goals is to seek for value in it.  It may sound like a cliche and too simple for it to do some big change. But please trust me, applying this simple rule will make a significant change in your life.

So, by equipping yourself with learned lessons from your mistakes and by extracting from them insights, empowering conclusions, understanding and new inspirations, you will grow. You will see that problems and tough circumstances can strengthen you. Mistakes can make you wiser and more insightful. All difficulties and mistakes can work for you, if you choose them to play this role for you.

And now, leaving mistakes, regret and pain behind, enter your new year with all valuable insights and lessons that you extracted from difficult situations and circumstances. At this point, you are stronger, wiser and better equipped to conquer your future challenges. This new year you will do better, because you have learned what Not to do and What you can do better. As you are starting your new year, imagine you just opened a new chapter of your life book, where you will write countless incredible testimonies of God’s love and help, new exciting changes, implemented goals and joyous experiences.

And here is the video about designing your 2015 by setting and achieving your goals. I found this video very inspiring and instructional. It has a lot of great insights and ideas how to set and successfully achieve your goals. Click on the link below:

http://resolutions.bestyearever.me/

Hope this brought you some value and empowered you to shake off the dust and set yourself up to win the game! Make your year of 2015 a significant one!

If you have other ways that empower you to deal with past mistakes, please post it below to share it with the rest of us. If you want to reach me personally, please feel free to email me at inga_unstoppable@outlook.com

May God bless you in your journey to have continued success!

Be Strong.  Be Determined and Persistent. Be Unstoppable.

Yours truly, Inga 🙂

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How To Keep on Going?

How To Keep on Going?

Do you have a hardship that it makes you feel like you are reaching your limit and you just can’t take it anymore? Are you facing obstacle that is like unmovable rock and after your continuous, but unavailing efforts you are contemplating on letting it go?
As we go through our life journey, every one of us experience heat and cold, sun and rain, valleys and hills covered with green and flowers, and also the dessert with no water or liveliness. Difficulties are just the same part of life as everything else that we consider good and we are not going to avoid them as much as we would like to. Even if we were absolutely perfect and did not make any mistakes, then there would be an impact from the outside that would cause us problems, right? Some are easier to deal with, and some of them sometimes bring us to the point when we feel like we just can’t take it anymore and we are very close to say “Forget it, I am done with this”. Does that sound familiar to you?

Quite often I am asked “How do you keep on going, Inga? You are so strong, where do you get the strength?” And since it is one of the most frequent questions I am asked, I decided to analyze myself, collect my observations and share it with others.

As I was on my journey of returning back to life by becoming independent and leading a dynamic life again after losing both of my legs and the use of my left arm, I had continuous battles with some serious obstacles, challenges and pain. Losing nearly half of my body at the age of 22 brought an enormous challenge just to function daily, in addition to the enormous emotional and physical pain. Then, life threw at me such challenges that at times it was simply unbearable to live another day. On my way I kept meeting obstacles that ironically smiled at me conveying the message that I won’t be able to move beyond them. Before I successfully achieved my Impossibles (it’s not a mistake; I just made up that word from adjective to a noun in a plural form ), for quite some time my strenuous efforts seemed absolutely meaningless as I did not see the fruit of my labor after countless hours, months and even years of work. The loss, wordless betrayals and disappointments appeared over and over and over…. How do you get up, how do you break through and keep moving on? Sometimes I even asked myself How much more can I take? But then, I would pull myself together and continue my journey toward my ultimate vision.

As I was analyzing what makes me get out of bed in the morning, break through those barrier walls and keep on going, I realized that all these years I was unconsciously applying the same strategies of how I deal with challenges and obstacles that try to prevent me from taking another step. It’s not that I am stronger than you. I just know my source of strength that is my Rock solid foundation and I know strategies to deal with challenges and tools to overcome obstacles. And I applied it. That’s all. I truly sincerely believe that anyone can successfully handle their difficulties. It’s just a matter of knowing and applying. I want to share this with you and others, so you can take it and apply it in your own life.

I will start with the first key, which may seem very invisible at first, but plays incredibly significant role in our lives. When I look back, I see that there was always a very fine line between continuing my life in misery blaming unfortunate events or other people, and me attaining a fully engaged and meaningful life. There is a fine line between some entrepreneurs, like for instance the publisher of Success magazine Darren Hardy, who became highly productive and successful and those who cannot see results that they dream about in their own businesses. There is a fine line between the Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker Nick Vujicic , who leads an extraordinary life even though he was born without his legs and without arms and those who are miserable even though they have everything they need to lead a fulfilling life. What was that fine line that made such a big difference in my personal experience and in the lives of many over-comers and high achievers? What can determine which direction our lives will take after some adversity strike us or when just simple daily difficulties take place in our lives?

It’s a Choice.

It was my choice what I decided to do when I was hit by those difficulties. I didn’t think about the power of the choice at the time, I was just totally committed to my ultimate outcome and I was doing everything possible to continue on my journey to implement that outcome. But after certain personal experiences, and observing other successful people, I clearly see that our choices how we handle those challenging times determine what’s next.

All of us have difficulties in our lives, and each of us handle them differently. While we are going through some hardships, we don’t always think about what’s far ahead, because we are focused on the moment and how we feel at that time. Often we make unconscious decisions in order to get away from pain as soon as possible regardless of its subsequent affect later on. But the fact is that our decision during the difficult time of how we are going to look at the situation (choosing the perspective) and what we are going to do about it, will determine what’s next for us. It is our choice during the difficult time whether we are going to allow that hardship to sweep away our decision to pursuit our aim or we are going to push through and continue our pursuit. So it is very important to keep in mind what is our current goal in the progress and what is our ultimate vision, and respond to the hardship in such a way that will support and not jeopardize our desired ultimate outcome.

There is always a choice to step into the victim’s role and blame somebody else for our broken destiny or failure to achieve our goal. At the same time, there is a choice to accept the responsibility for our current circumstances, be determined to make a change and take action to improve our situation. There is always a choice to take an easier route that does not require our efforts and discipline. There is also a choice to make an effort to change our life’s direction and relentlessly work to implement the outcome that we decide to have in our life. There is always a choice to use the given time to entertain ourselves, and a choice to use the same time to do something for the attainment of our goal and fulfilling our purpose. There is a choice to adopt the belief that nothing can be changed and go along with whatever circumstances show up in life, justifying it by “that’s just life” or another very famous one “I guess that’s just my destiny”. Right beside us, there is another choice to believe that there must be a way. With God’s help we will be able to make a change and improve our circumstances, regardless of how bad it is at the time. It’s not occurred events that determine how our lives are supposed to be, but God’s will for us and our decision what we are going to do in each situation. 

At the door of each difficult situation, there are always two choices that are waiting for our pick. These two choices are going to take us on different paths, and each of those choices will deliver totally different results.

“Sure, I would like to make the right choice. But how can I make it, how do I make that step forward, when I just feel tired, frustrated, disappointed, and at times I just don’t want to get out of my bed and do anything…How do I keep going on?”, – you may ask.
Yes, I know. It is very hard to think about things that you need to do when you don’t want another morning to come. This feeling is so familiar to me. But there is a way. I am going to share it with you as we move along.

Today, think about the power of the choice, because the determining factor whether you are going to live your dream or you will remain where you are now is your choices and decisions compound. Know that “I am done with this” or “I don’t feel like doing any of it today” is just simply an emotion, affected by certain events. Today you feel depressed and don’t feel like doing anything, so you decide to stay in bed and watch TV. Tomorrow you feel like you can’t take it anymore and you drop the ball. Another day you feel you need to take it easy, because it has been stressful lately, so you decide to entertain yourself. Time will go by very quickly, and those emotions will pass as well. And where will you be if you make your decision based on your emotions? You will have to live where your choices have brought you.
Is it worth it?
Is it easier to put it off to another day? Yes it is. But again, is it worth it?
Sometimes, our one choice – One Single Choice – can literally direct our life journey one or another direction. Also, our daily, weekly, monthly choices compound deliver their results as well. They may seem quite insignificant, and even they may not even appear like choices. But they are. Every time we decide to do something or not to do is a choice.

Just simply know that while you are going through a hardship, it is best to not allow your emotions to determine your decision what you are going to do with that situation and what you are going to do about your ultimate goal, because if you do – most chances are you will regret about it later. Have a rule to yourself that you are going to move forward relentlessly regardless of obstacles and any hardships that you will meet on your way.

Sure, there are times when some troubles can hit us very hard, and our well-being becomes a priority. (Our physical health, spiritual and emotional well-being is the #1 care, since we won’t be able to have any productivity if we are not doing well, right?) But with that, we need to be honest with ourselves, if this is a really serious issue that must get our care and attention, or is just a simple “feeling down” because we are not in a mood, the weather change or another routine disappointment. I believe the difference can make a person’s understanding that Procrastinating to get things done to “another time” or “when I feel better” is just a simple, invisible and yet dangerous time waster, which delivers an instant relief, but after a period of time brings us the irreversible result – we lose the time that we had to bring our vision to fruition. The longer we wait – the more time we waste, while our projects remain to be not completed. And what’s even worse, by waiting until we feel better we might miss our greatest opportunity. Again, there must be a balance in everything, but it is always good to have that awareness of what is really happening behind our decision “to do it another day.”
During my personal journey, I simply knew that the only way for me to get out of the pit was to be relentless and in spite of it all do everything possible to implement the outcome that I decided to attain. I was always aware that my daily consistent action is a step closer to the realization of my dream, whether it was to walk again or establishing my independent living in the United States. I knew that by canceling my daily work for whatever reason meant I was putting off reaching my ultimate goal to a later as well. In my mind I had a very simple math – doing the work meant getting closer to my goal’s achievement, and procrastinating in my action pushed my goal further away from me. I wanted to reach my goal as soon as possible, so I was committed to do exercises, work hard and just do what I had to do regardless of whether I felt like it or not. When I was facing betrayals and people’s acts that directly and destructively impacted my life, I knew that I could not allow myself to give up on my life only because of another person’s certain act toward me. My life was way too precious for me to allow anybody or anything to stop me from making it blossom again. I moved on because I clearly realized that it’s not other person’s act toward me that could destroy my future, but my choice to give up after that.
Other people and outside events can impact your life and they may even stop you temporarily. However, the ultimate outcome will be determined by you. Are you going to allow your emotions to put your project aside, or are you going to push through and make an effort to do at least something to bring yourself closer to your ultimate aim? Are you going to remain in the pit and wallow in your misery blaming the person or the event, or are you going to shake it off, learn your lessons and move on toward your vision in spite of it all? Are you going to give up when challenges show up, or are you going to break through and reach your destination anyway?
It’s your choice.
Lay a firm foundation for yourself that you will always make a choice that will align with your purpose. You will always make a choice to overcome and do the best you can in any circumstances. Make a non-negotiable decision that you will never give up, no matter what it takes for you to take another step. So when you face some tough situation, don’t rush to do anything out automatic reaction. A lot of times we just react, making unconscious choices based on our habitual mental patterns. Stop. Make a conscious decision. Think about the situation in a big picture. Where are you going? Try to see those two choices, and ask yourself “The choice that I am going to make now, where will it bring me ultimately?”

What is that beautiful place in your life where you are headed? Look how far you have made it! I am sure you have had some obstacles on your way before you got here. And today, one of the combining reasons why you are successful or have not reach your desired outcome is how you dealt with those hardships and stumbling blocks, would you agree?

Today is your opportunity of many choices. Tomorrow is a new day, which is a new opportunity to use your given time and make choices that will get you closer to your vision, or away from it. Your own choice will determine it.
Life is like an art piece. Our decisions shape and consistent daily actions create this unique piece of art. Make your life a masterpiece.

I hope this add some value to you. I cannot stress enough how important it is. If you would like to share with me and other readers your thoughts, feedback and your experiences by posting right below, I would be absolutely delighted to hear from you! Also, please pass this on to others, if you know someone who might benefit from it.

I will continue sharing with you How to break through and keep on going. Until then, use what you just read. It will make a difference.

Here are few questions that you may ask yourself to help you:

  • Choices that I am making during difficult times – do they work for me or against me? Are they bringing me closer to my goal? If not, what different choices do I need to make in order to start consistently moving forward?
  • The choice that I will make now – is it going to bring me closer to my ultimate vision or pull me away from it?

If you would like to have some support through the coaching process, I am just an email away. Please email me inga.lizdenyte@gmail.com

And like always, I wish you to Be Strong. Be Determined and Persistent. Be Unstoppable! 

~ Yours, Inga

http://www.ingalizdenyte.com/Coaching.html

 

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