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Monthly Archives: February 2012

Something that carried me through…

Commitment, Action, Persistence, having control over your thoughts and your inner state is absolutely critical to have. But there is one more thing, without which I would not have made it. I got knocked down and deeply disappointed so many times, and even having all these qualities sometimes it seemed I did not have strength to get up and make another step… But there was one thing that did not let me give up. It got me up each time I fell down. It carried me on the arms when I could not walk any more. It gave me hope in the darkest time. Basically all my big goals seemed nearly Impossible, and sometimes I would ask myself “Inga…what are you doing…are you out of your mind..it’s IMPOSSIBLE!”  but there was something that gave the birth to strong determination to go after those impossible goals. It’s my faith that with God’s help I will create the life that I desire. I would not have rebuilt my life after the crash, if God would not have created opportunities for me and would not have given me strength and ability to handle it all. Faith in God never fails, trust me. And those who seek Him with all their heart, find Him. 

 

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It’s Your Choice

Problems either break you or make you stronger and it depends on you where you will end up. It’s your Choice what you are going to do about them will determine the end result. You have a choice to say “Oh well, such is life..” Or you have a choice to say that this is just a challenge for you and with God’s help you are going to conquer all the obstacles. You have a choice to sit and complain about how difficult it is Or take your problem with courage and look for the best solution. Problems will always come; they are a natural part of life. It’s what you are going to do about them will determine your future. Be strong, and make it a great week! Make a choice to have it a great week.:)

 

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Commitment to your vision

Commitment to your vision
This week I was reminded about one of the ingredients that went into my life pie.:) Remember, in my earlier posting I said that just like you need numerous ingredients to make a pie, it takes several important things to handle various unfavorable situations in life, overcome obstacles or achieve what you want,?:)
One of the things that helped me to get through the most challenging times was a Commitment to my vision. I did not “wish” a better life. I had a burning desire to have a better life. I wanted get back into active full lifestyle and I was committed to making it happen.

Goosebumps go through my body when I remember those years, when I was training to walk with artificial legs. It was exhausting work and endless pain. Every step I made felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife. Still, I was learning to make those steps, just so I can walk again. After walking for 1.5 hrs, my thighs were swolen, covered with bruzes, sores and even opened wounds. I would put the medicine and the bandage on the sores, and would train again. My decision to walk again was non-negotiable. Even though realistically It seemed impossible for me to walk and I was told so many times I should just leave that alone and take a different strategy for my life, I kept training and going for my dream. I was so committed that I did not even listen to people’s opinions nor did I negotiate with pain, my mood or daily “want and don’t want”. The time came when I did reach my dream. I did walk. There is no way I would have walked again, if I was not fully committed to my dream.

When 8 years ago I decided to go to California to see how I could establish myself in this beautiful land, I had absolutely no means or guarantees to implement my idea. I did not have a place to live, did not have a lot of money and did not have a job. I did not even have the right to live and work in the country. I knew English pretty well, but I hardly understood Americans. In addition to that, I had no idea how I could move around independently in the manual wheelchair, cook meals for myself with one hand and just generally take care of myself being in such physical condition that I am. The idea of living in California seemed very exciting, of course, but I was in a very tough position – I had absolutely no resources to make it happen. I had my faith in God, several Americans who loved me, my suitcase and a dream.:) That’s how I started… I put my faith in God and myself I was fully committed to make it happen regardless of how much effort and work it would take. Today I live the dream that seemed nearly impossible… In fact, I have more than I could have ever dreamed of…

The interesting thing was my mindset: when I decided to go to America. I did not go to “try” establish myself there. I was going to do it. I did not leave any alternative to myself. I knew I would live in California before I even flew down here. I had no idea how I could possibly implement my desire, but there was no doubt that I would succeed. Yes, it required determination, devotion, hard work, and persistence. I was very blessed in whatever I did and was protected from evil, but it did take a lot of effort and hard work. Of course there were times when it seemed I would have given away anything just so I can be at home in Lithuania with my family and friends. But I knew I could not just drop everything and leave.The full commitment to my dream pushed me forward through the difficult times. My commitment to the outcome moves me forward up to this day, and I am holding that standard.

…The obstacles, challenges and various problems will come into your life, whether you want it or not. But if are truly committed, you will overcome it all. There might be the facts of your reality that ironically smiles at you saying that your goal is nearly impossible. But if you are truly commited to your vision – you will find a way to realize it.There cannot be “Trying to do it”. Don’t try. Just do it. Of course it is necessary to be wise about the decisions, but the truth is that you must be fully committed if you are going after some big vision, because obstacles will show up without a doubt. It’s what you are going to do when they come will determine your result. Trying is a state of mind when you allow the possibility of not making it happen. Commitment makes your decision non-negotiable. You will achieve what you want, because then you will be absolutely determined to do whatever it takes to realize your vision.

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Commitment vs Trying

I just had a class Commitment vs Trying at International Coach Academy, and once again it reminded me that  it’s not simple conversations or thoughts about what would be nice to have or achieve will help to implement our vision or achieve some goals. It is a commitment to our goal. It is Not giving up when we face the obstacles, challenges or problems that come into our lives. It is not being discouraged when the facts show that our goal is nearly impossible. It is a commitment to do whatever it takes to achieve the goal and to realize the vision that we have. There cannot be “Trying to do it”. When I hear people say “I will try”, I automatically respond “Don’t try. Just do it.” 🙂 Trying is a state of mind when you allow the possibility of not making it happen. The danger having you “trying” is that deep inside you already have the fear of not making it happen, and you might let it go once you see big obstacles. If you truly want something – there is no trying. You either do it or don’t do it. It is giving a 100% of yourself. It is Not allowing anybody and anything to stop you. It is a non-negotiable decision.

 

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Don’t stop

When you go home through the harsh rain and wind, you don’t stop in the middle of the way because it is cold and difficult to walk, right? You keep walking because you know where you are going, and if you just keep moving forward, you are going to get home,  where it’s warm and cozy. In fact, you hurry to get there faster.

It’s the same with life. Hold your sight on your vision and keep walking in spite of the life storms. Don’t stop. Keep moving forward knowing that you are going to reach your vision soon or later.

 
 

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The detail that will greatly impact your outcome

What makes a difference why sometimes people overcome pain and obstacles and sometimes don’t? This question has been on my mind for quite a long time.
 As I was going through my challenges the first several years since the accident, I never really analyzed what made me do what I did and what helped handle the pain and overcome obstacles that made my vision look nearly impossible.  I just knew I would never give up on my vision and would not allow anybody to talk me out of it. I consistently moved forward in life breaking through the obstacles that I met on my way. I had my sight on my vision, was holding on to my faith and would not let anything to stop me. Only after I implemented some of my biggest goals, I started thinking about what helped me to go through my toughest times and reach that, which seemed impossible. Especially it made me think about it once I started hearing people say “I’m not as strong as you are”. Listening to them, I would ask myself “Why do they think they are not strong enough to handle their situation or that I am stronger than they are?  
The truth is that it is not that I am stronger or better. It is what I decided to do after I had the crash. Observing people’s comments, I see that it seems to many that I handled everything easily because I am “naturally strong”. Well, No it was never easy. Never. At times the emotional pain was just unbearable. I do get those hits on the ongoing basis.:) and No it is not easy. Sometimes it seems that the further I go in life, the stronger hits I get. But I keep going.  I am committed to my outcome and I do not allow myself to give up on it when it gets tough.  Often I say that problems either break you or make you stronger, and it depends on you what result you are going to have. I learned something very powerful that I use to handle whatever I have to face. There are several things that are important. It is like only by putting numerous various ingredients you can make a cake.:) But today I am talking about the detail that greatly influences how we feel and how we handle unfavorable situations.

 

I shared in my previous post that faith is my strong foundation and it is the main source of strength to handle it all.  Faith set the mindset that empowered me at all times. It gave me the hope and strength to move on no matter how desperate my situation seemed to be.

 

There is another critical part to it. It is the power of how you communicate to yourself about what happens and what you are going to do about it. Observing myself and other people, I started seeing that how things turn after unfavorable event happens, most of the times depends on how we look at it. Why? That’s where our journey starts either toward winning or losing the game. The reason being why it is so crucial is because depending on how we interpret the event and communicate to ourselves our ability to handle it, we will feel either low self-esteem or even helpless Or strong and empowered, and That will determine what we are going to do next. Would you agree that we choose different action when we feel helpless and doubtful, and when we feel determined and empowered? 

 

Having the same event, you have two choices of how you look at it and what you say to yourself. Is this a punishment or is this a lesson for you? Is this a loss or an opened opportunity to have new and better? Does this situation show you are not capable or does this situation show there is an area where you can improve yourself, so you can do better next time? Is this a dead end or a challenge for you to find a way because you know there must be a way? Is this too much for you to handle or not? Your first choice to say to yourself is “I am not strong enough to take it. This is too much for me”. Second choice – say to yourself “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and so that means I am strong enough to take it.  And I am strong enough not just to cope with it, but I will take it with courage and with God’s help I will win the game”. Would you agree that communicating things that empower and dis-empower you, will deliver totally different result in your life?
So it is important to be careful with how you communicate to yourself about what happens, and what you say to yourself whether you can or cannot get the outcome you want.
Which mindset are you going to choose? It depends what outcome you want to have in your life. You are the one, who decides how you look at things and what you think about. We cannot control events that happen in our lives, but we can control how we look at it and then what we do about it.
So, be strong and choose the perspective that will empower you. You will see a big difference!
 

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Where to get inner strength?

I hope your week was a good and productive one, and you had strength to endure various problems, overcome obstacles and handle some unexpected unpleasant surprises that life throws at us sometimes.:)

Talking about strength, I hear a lot people saying that I am strong, and they ask me where from  I get that strength and endurance to go through  all the physical and emotional pain, and to do things that I do. Yes, pain and difficulties tested me and made me only stronger. I know, character and personality has a lot to do with it. And I will agree I am stubborn.:) My Mom used to complain about my stubbornness :), but really stubbornness is one of those qualities that helped me to get through the most challenging times. But you know what is my real source of strength? God is my strength.  Prayer and faith – this is my source of strength and driving force. I know, this might not sound “serious” to you or “religious stuff” :), I am sure you have heard numerous times about it, and maybe really what you would like to hear is something concrete and tangible. 

 As strange as it might seem to you, faith is much more than a good job, friends or money. All of you know that people or any beneficial contacts might betray you. One day they can seem to be your best friend and even promise to love you and never leave you, but then another day they break their word and disappear from your life. Also, one day you have money, house or outstanding career, but it might be gone in a flash any day. From my experience I learned very well – one day you have it all, and the next day you might lose it all. But faith will never disappoint you. Yes, faith is not tangible and it is invisible. But it has an immense power and it can turn the impossible into possible. There is nothing more powerful than a prayer and faith in God.

We all are spiritual beings, and such qualities like inner strength is not based on material things or economic status. Material wealth might give you confidence, if that’s where you put your highest values (the problem with that is that you will lose the confidence if/when you lose the source of that material wealth).  But have you experienced being well economically, but feeling sad, depressed and unhappy anyway? It’s what is within you makes a difference on how you feel.  Jesus said once that if we drink the water that he gives, we will never be thirsty. He is the source of inner peace, strength and joy. While  I was in the Intensive Care Unit on a verge of life and death, I had absolutely incredible experience, and I don’t just believe Jesus is alive in his Spirit. I know he is.

Faith is my strong foundation. It always gave me hope, and it gave me courage and strength to move forward no matter how desparate my situation was. It lifted me up when I fell down. It gave me inner strength to take another step when I felt exhausted. It helped me to move forward in life in spite of obstacles and difficulties that I had to face.I know sometimes it is not easy to trust God, who is invisible, because we human beings naturally rely on something that we can see, touch, feel and have confidence in. We tend to hope for help from supernatural power only when we cannot do anything to change our situation. Have you heard people saying “Well..now only God can help”? That’s exactly what taught me to seek God. I’ve been in such situations numerous times, and that’s when I had the biggest miracles happening in my life – when I put my trust in God, not on people or any resources.

You feel tired, deeply disappointed, worried, afraid or even desperate? I want to encourage you to try do the same. Be like a little child and seek God. Trust anyway. Try to seek for help and for inner strength in a prayer. Just close the door of your room… and talk to God. He always answers to those, who seek him with all their heart.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)

 

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