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7 Steps How to Create the Life You Desire

I wanted to share with you something that might be life changing for you, as it was for me 16 years ago.

As I am getting closer to the day when I step into a new phase in my life, fully devoting myself to my calling and passion to help others overcome and achieve the lives they’re longing to live, this week I wanted to share with you something that might be life changing for you, as it was for me 16 years ago. And then, I have a gift for you – my model “7 Steps Forward”, a roadmap for changing your current circumstances and creating the life you desire.

Time after time I hear people saying “Well, that’s just how my life is.” Their sad eyes reflect their belief that circumstances are stronger than they are and that there is nothing much they could do about it. And, they settle for the life they have even though they are miserable. I still remember the time when I felt trapped by circumstances. I was so deeply depressed that I wished I didn’t even exist. But there was a day when I grasped one thing and that was a turning point in my life. Since then, I began intentionally to take action to change my circumstances, and my story evolved in an amazing way. My life transformed.
If you are not happy how your life goes and you also feel trapped in your current circumstances, this message is for you today.

Inga1

 

 

When I decided to start changing my life, I was in a dark and desperate place.  At the age of 22, overnight my life has brutally changed. More about what had happened, you can read in my earlier written “Stay committed to your decision and never, never give up”

At the time, losing nearly half of my body meant losing my life.  At the time Vilnius city was not accessible for people in wheelchairs, and that meant that I no longer could leave my home, go to the city or anywhere. I became literally imprisoned by the walls of my own home. My life turned into a dull and painful existence. The scariest thing was knowing that we couldn’t do anything to change the situation. Losing legs was not like getting a cut on your finger. It was a horrifying agonizing experience of the sudden change. Without me even realizing it, I stepped on a quicksand of deep depression. But, praise the Lord, there was a day when the despair was replaced by hope and a new vision.

I will never forget that beautiful sunny day when I realized that if I did not like how my life was – I could change it. Nothing – no accident, pain, challenges due to my changed physical condition, nor any other problems were going to rule how I felt and how I would continue my life journey.

Those desperate circumstances were created by the event – the car accident. So, if the circumstances and my life’s conditions could be changed by certain events, then by taking the initiative and action I could create a different kind of events and change my circumstances again! I didn’t have to give in and settle for what was created by the crash!

That moment something deep inside of me has shifted. Instead of continuing to live in despair and depression that my life was restricted by circumstances that the crash has created, I realized that there was no limit to what I want to create in my life – by taking an intentional action I could deliberately create circumstances that I desired. And, I believed with God’s help I was going to get out of this horrible place in my life.

I felt strong and determined to change my living conditions. I decided not to waste my time and not to allow the unknown to make me doubt, but take the initiative and start making changes to get myself out of the “dead-end”.

I asked myself what needs to happen, how my life needs to be for me to feel happy again. Then, I asked myself solution-oriented questions, determined my long term and short term goals, and strategized what exactly I needed to do to start the process.

First, I set the goals that helped me gain my independence back on a daily routine, along with the ability to walk wearing artificial legs.  Local prosthetic specialists tried to ensure me that in my physical condition of bilateral above the knee amputee and having one arm paralyzed it was impossible to walk wearing prosthetic legs. At that time I knew that the only way to change circumstances that made me depressed was to walk again so I would be able to get out my home and go to work again. I was ready to break through any obstacles to make it happen. So I told specialists that I would walk and would even dance, and they would see it.

In spite of much advice – to come to terms with a “disabled lifestyle” – I researched online about prosthetic legs worldwide, emailing prosthetic companies. My relentless perseverance to walk again brought me all the way to California, USA. Thanks to an American prosthetic specialist, who believed that my dream was possible and decided to help me, I fulfilled my vow. I walked and even danced, just as I said I would.

Then, a year later I moved across the globe from my family in Lithuania, EU and established my life in the United States even though at the time of my decision I had no place to live, no work, not a lot of money, and even no right to live and work in America. I always held my vision in my mind no matter what was going on in my life, and consistently worked toward my goals. A beautiful dream, which seemed impossible at the time, has become my reality.

Last night, as I was having my time of gratitude to the Lord, in my mind I stepped back and looked at my life from a bigger perspective. Just remembering where I began my journey and where my life is now, I was in awe. How incredibly my life has transformed! How great my God is!

I still remember very well those days when a full dynamic life having my physical limitations seemed impossible. I was told many times that I was aiming for goals that were simply unrealistic. It did seem like outrageous ambitions and yet, I believed there would come a day when I’d implement my dreams.  And, it’s been over a decade now that I live my dream.

The outrageous ambition is my life today –  I live a dynamic life residing in beautiful California, across the globe from my home country, am self-sufficient, work, build relationships with people, travel even more than I ever did prior the crash. Furthermore, I just fulfilled another impossible goal – published my book “Unstoppable. It’s a Choice”. And now, my eyes are set on another vision – creating my business Becoming Unstoppable, LLC to fulfill my promise to the Lord and help other people break through their hardships and create the lives they’re longing to live. It’s mind-boggling!

Please hear me – you can change your current circumstances if you are not happy with them. Current circumstances were created by your own choices made earlier. The same way, by making different choices and taking action, you can create different circumstances. Maybe you are dealing with some events you could not control. But remember, your life is in your hands, not in the hands of your circumstances. Your choice of what you are going to do about them from now on will determine your future events, and maybe even your destiny. Do not allow them to be in charge. It’s up to you to take charge of your circumstances and your life.

You are the author of your life story. You can pick up a pen and change your next Chapter. You can change it at any time. Even today. Even this moment can be fateful for you if you make the decision to open a new page and start writing in it what you want.

This is your life, your story, and nobody is going to create it for you, except you.

If you ask yourself “OK, but how can I possibly change my life? Where do I begin?”

I want to share with you the model that I personally used to transform my life so you can begin your journey anytime, even today. On the right side of my personal web page find and get “7 Steps Forward” How to Create the Life you Desire, which will be your roadmap.

If at any point you would like me to personally coach you, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

And, if you would like more practical tools that could guide you in your journey, I encourage you to read my book“Unstoppable. It’s a Choice” There I included all practical tools how to be strong, how to overcome, break through and achieve.

I hope this will give you a sparkle of hope and challenge your beliefs and expand your vision of what’s possible in your life. Remember, you can begin making changes even today. I will continue sharing messages to inspire and equip you with practical tools.

Meanwhile, be strong. Believe that with God all things are possible. Only you need to take initiative.

What will be your first step?

Inga

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Posted by on August 19, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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How to Be Resilient, How to Recover From the Destruction? Step 1. Know There is a Purpose Behind it All.

When the adversity hits us, the hopelessness brings enormous pain and feeling of devastation. But what if it’s not the end? What if there is hope? What if you know that there is a particular purpose behind this hardship and that it’s not more than you can handle? You are strong enough to take it. Take it and emerge with triumph.

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Lately, I’ve been surrounded by a lot of adversity in the lives of people who are dear to me. During the week of the firestorm in Sonoma and Napa Counties, California, many of us have been affected by it one or another way. Watching the devastation that the fires have brought into people’s lives was heart-wrenching. I was shocked and bewildered. My heart goes to each person and families, who lost your loved ones, lost your home and everything you held dear. How I wished I had my legs and my both arms functioning so I could be helpful to those, who were in need! Then, I began hearing that some of my friends have lost their homes and everything they had, someone got seriously ill, someone got their house foreclosed and were forced to leave their home while preparing for a heart surgery, someone got into the crash and got paralyzed… My heart was torn watching their pain. Their lives took a sudden turn that they could not anticipate nor could they possibly be ready for such adversities. I wish to be able to help, but there’s nothing much I could do. But, maybe there is a way I could reach my hand to those, whose lives were changed due to adversity, who goes through a hard time?

I haven’t lost anything at this time, but I know the taste of losing everything and anguish of grief. In my personal life journey, I have had to rebuild my life few times from devastating destruction, both tangible and emotional. The first time I came face to face with devastation was when I woke up in the ICU without my both legs, my left arm fully paralyzed and multiple severe injuries throughout my body. Losing nearly half of my body at the age of 22 and no longer able to function independently was devastating. My destiny seemed destroyed.

At that point, I faced the crossroads of my destiny – am I going to give in or am I going to fight for my life? Which way do I continue – left or right? Give up? Or fight? I had a choice.  I decided to reclaim my life no matter how much effort it would take.  Since then, my life turned into an incredible journey.  But then, after breaking through the insurmountable obstacles, and being only a step away from achieving the life that I relentlessly worked to attain, I faced the second crash, which brought more pain than losing my legs. Overnight everything was destroyed. Fruits of the hard work and continuous efforts to rebuild my life were ruined. The treachery, loss, and destruction of my new life broke me inside and nearly made me give up. I just did not have any more strength.

Realizing that it’s not events or other people’s choices that can break my destiny, but my choice to give up, with the Lord’s intervention, I picked myself up and resolved to attain my vision in spite of it all.

It’s been for over a decade that I live the life I desired to live, despite the devastation, the loss, the physical limitation and ongoing challenges. But I don’t want to enjoy my life for my selfish reasons. During the process of my recovery from adversity and other hardships, I have learned a lot and acquired experience and knowledge which I want to share with others. My passion has been to help others overcome difficulties, change/improve their lives, and share my testimony of God’s power to restore the broken and turn the impossible into possible.

My upcoming book “Unstoppable” contains my story and everything that empowered me to overcome the adversity and reclaim my life, but I don’t want to wait until it’s published. This fire disaster and hardships that so many people face, inspires me to begin sharing with you lessons I have learned, my source of endurance and everything that helped me to restore my life, so anyone could take it and use it in their lives. I am eager to share what will coach, ignite faith, inspire and equip you with knowledge of how to recover from adversity, break through hardships, overcome obstacles and achieve any goals, ultimately creating the life you desire.

 Since my faith in Jesus Christ has been the source of my strength and is the rock-solid foundation which I stand on, I will talk a lot about faith. I am not going to preach, but I will share how trusting in the Lord strengthened me, gave me the right perspective on events and hardships, gave me the courage, tenacity, and fortitude. I will also share what I call ‘self-management tools’ because, in addition to prayer and faith, our results will greatly depend on our mindset, attitude, personal character traits, discipline, personal standards, and actions. Just as my book contains both aspects, my posts will reflect the Unstoppable.

When the adversity hits us, the first stage is the shock. Have you felt that while you are in the state of a shock, you don’t feel anything? You are in a survival mode and there is not much pain or grief. I remember myself, I was feeling pretty well even though my both legs were severed. I felt fully determined to recover physically and rebuild my life.

But then, after the shock goes away, we come face to face with consequences of the destruction. That’s when the reality hits. The grief and anguish is enormous. And then there is a question – and now what? How am I supposed to live further?

At that point, you are at crossroads. This is a crucial moment, which can determine what’s next.  It’s important to understand that it is critical to not get panic or anxious, but be strong during hardships because your future circumstances will greatly depend on how you are going to handle the adversity.

One way of the crossroads – give in and indulge in self-pity; begin to think and act as a victim, blaming the disaster or other people for your brokenness.  Another way – resolve to reclaim that which was lost.

  1. Accept the new reality;
  2. Focus on the solution, what must be done to emerge from destruction;
  3. Do everything you can, do whatever it takes to improve your circumstances.

You are standing at the crossroads of a Choice. Remember, you have a choice. It’s going to be up to you which way you will continue. You have a choice to have unshakable faith or dive in into hopelessness. You have a choice to surrender to the hardship and go with the flow, and at the same time you have a choice to resist the destruction, be resilient and relentlessly aim toward your goal.

How to be resilient, how to recover after the destruction?

The first step – check your beliefs. Your belief system will lay a foundation for your mindset. The reason I begin with the mindset is because it will determine further decisions and actions, which ultimately will determine how you will handle the situation you are in. Since my beliefs are based on Christian faith, I will talk from a perspective of Biblical values and teachings.

My first advice for this time will be – trust that God doesn’t make mistakes; If He allowed that to happen in your life, then there is a purpose in it. According to the book of Job in the Bible, without God’s permission the enemy cannot do any harm to those who love the Lord and live according to His commandments. The enemy can do only as much as Creator allows him to. Moreover, in the story of Job, we see that God allowed Satan to bring calamities into Job’s life for a certain purpose.

 So, by faith, relying on the Bible, we know that what had happens in our life is not more than how much the Lord allows. So, knowing that, it brings a question- what for God has allowed this in your life? What purpose the Lord has through this trouble in your life?  Maybe you need to start looking sincerely for the Lord? Perhaps God stopped you, and you need to re-evaluate your values and who / what is the center of your life? Or, maybe there is something that you need to see and learn? Maybe you need to grow in faith? Can the Lord test you as He tested Job? Whatever that is, trust that the loving Creator is not going to allow his child to go through destruction with no reason. And, if this was allowed in your life, with the Lord’s help you will overcome.

 What helped me tremendously to recover after the shock of losing my independence and everything that I held dear was my faith that if my Heavenly Father allowed this car accident to happen in such a cruel way, that means there had to be a serious reason for it. Here is the excerpt from “Unstoppable” about the moment when I realized something that made me feel strong to accept the tragedy and conquer it:

“One day, as my friend Martynas was visiting, our light conversation turned into a discussion about my major questions – why it had to be so cruel. I knew I could be open with him and I shared with him my thoughts and how I felt.

After listening, he looked at me and said, “Inga, I don’t know why it happened the way it did. But what I do know is that God did not leave you then, and He is not going to leave you alone now. He would not have allowed you to appear in this position if you would not have been able to take it. With God you will handle it.”

              It felt like someone enlightened my mind and suddenly I got a very clear awareness: God is love. His purpose was not to torture me. He knows what I can and cannot endure. He never abandoned me and He showed me that He was with me the entire time. If He saved my life, even though I was not supposed to survive, and used His power to heal me so rapidly, there must be the purpose behind everything.

              Martynas reinforced my belief that there was a divine purpose in everything that had happened, that the Lord was with me. I was strong enough to take it. In fact, I wasn’t only going to live through it, but with the Lord’s help, I was going to have a victory.

              It felt like someone gave me a drink from the spring of life and suddenly, I felt alive. This was the first time I felt strong enough to accept the consequences of the crash. But I felt strong not just to cope with it, but to emerge from the tragedy and triumph over it. Since then, my life became an amazing journey.”

Since then, my life took an extraordinary path. It’s incredible what the Lord has done over the years. After some time, I did see why the Lord allowed this car accident and why this ended so cruel. Seeing what purpose my Creator had behind this tragedy, I sincerely thanked Him for it. Today, even if I could go back to change it all, I wouldn’t.    

It is natural that we react negatively to problems and adversities. But if we focus on what had happened and constantly think how bad things are, we make it only worse for ourselves. What we focus on expands. We need to have discipline over our mind, and not allow ourselves to drown in the negativity and fear, and direct our thinking into a different direction. In my life, a lot has changed, when instead of the question “Why did this happen to me? ” I began wondering “What is this for? What’s the purpose behind it?” Instead of feeling hopelessness or a victim of other people’s choices, I began feeling strong and confident. I began seeing troubles from a whole different perspective, which empowered me to change those destructive circumstances and, see the benefit in it all.  

Knowing that this is allowed for some purpose and this is not more than you can take, how do you feel? What thoughts come to you?

You are strong enough to accept what happens in your life. With God’s help, you will go through this. What does not break us makes us stronger, right? 🙂

Moreover, we believe that everything works together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. So, even problems somehow work out for the good. (Romans 8:28) This is a great mystery to me how it works out that way, but I noticed it in my life time and time again. I will share about this some other time.

In the meantime, – What is the purpose of this adversity in your life? What is behind this?

 

On this note, I will end my message to you.

You are strong enough to take this. With God’s help you will recover.

Inga

 

 

 

 

 

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