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How To Believe In What You Think Is Impossible?

How To Believe In What You Think Is Impossible?

In my last post, I talked about how our beliefs have a tremendous impact in our lives.  So many people hold limiting beliefs of what they’re capable of and what’s possible, which robs people of their full potential and the lives that they could live. I shared my personal experience of how changing my limiting beliefs and my way of thinking empowered me tremendously to transform my life after losing both of my legs and the function of my left arm.

When I began mastering my beliefs and my way of thinking, the restoration of my independence and my life has taken to a whole new level. Through the experience, I have learned that as long as you are convinced that you cannot do something, or that something is impossible, it really is true. But it remains true only as long as you hold on to that belief.

The link to my first post: https://ingalizdenyte.me/2019/08/27/what-beliefs-are-holding-you-back/

In this post, I want to continue: How to Change the Beliefs That Limit Us? How can we do that which we thought we couldn’t do?

What is a belief? A belief is nothing but what we consider to be true, what we feel certain about.

For the most part, beliefs are unconscious, and they come from the culture where we grew up, the philosophy of life, faith / spiritual beliefs, our life experiences or the opinions and experiences of those whom we trust and respect.

Essentially, beliefs are only assumptions we make about ourselves and others, about our circumstances and our destiny, about success and failure, and, other aspects of life. But are our beliefs really true? Unfortunately, the beliefs that we hold may be absolutely not true and they can jeopardize us.

How can I change my beliefs?  

  1. When you think you aren’t able to do something, answer to yourself:
  • How can you absolutely know that to be true? According to whom you are not capable of it?
  • Has there ever been a time when you thought you couldn’t do something and then it turned out it has not been the case?
  • What evidence do you have today which is the opposite of what you believe in?
  • If you would try to do what you thought you could not do, where would you begin?

2. When you face a situation that seems very difficult to resolve, something is impossible, instead of considering how big is the problem consider how mighty your God is.

Usually, when we encounter a problem, we first analyze what is happening, how difficult and how bad everything is, and we check if we can resolve it. And If the problem is beyond our ability to resolve it or it is out of our control we turn to God asking for His help.

BUT if we focus on how big the problem is and build our expectation of the result after the prayer based on our own understanding and viewpoint of what is possible, then it is hard to believe that we will receive help from the Lord after the prayer. “Well… I hope, but this problem is so big, I just can’t see how this can be resolved; I am too weak/too old/not educated/not capable and I don’t know if I can receive a job; he/she are way too stubborn and never going to change,” does it sound familiar?

And then doubt comes, fear and unbelief (and then we get the answer according to our faith). But this is a belief that is based on our assumptions, on our understanding, and not on the word of God. It is faith in our faith, not faith in God.

To me, one of the most prominent examples of what faith is – Abraham and Sarah.

Romans 4:18-22 says that Abraham, even though it seemed hopeless, he still in hope believed. It’s amazing that He did not even consider the realistic factors (that his body and Sarah’s body were way too old to give birth to a child and physically it was simply impossible). Abraham did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being fully convinced that what God has promised He was also able to perform. Sarah – accepted strength to conceive and gave birth to a child because she judged Him faithful who had promised (Hebrews 11:11)

Few details got my attention:

  1. For Abraham and Sarah it was a decision to believe God. It’s a conscious decision.
  2. They built their faith not based on whether it was realistic or believable to them what God has promised but based on WHO GOD IS – God is MIGHTY AND ABLE to do it and He is FAITHFUL to His word.

I personally experienced incredible evidence of the power of faith when I trusted God in hopeless situations and expected an answer, even if it was simply unrealistic to get the answer I wanted. So many times I was advised to think realistically and adapt to circumstances, but I did not want to live as circumstances allowed me. But there was no way to change these circumstances.

And I, feeling complete despair, decided to have a child-like faith that God is the one who is able to change my circumstances. I decided to rise above the realistic thinking and to believe that everything was possible for the Lord, because He created the Universe, and so He is able to change any circumstances. Every day in my prayer I continued telling Him that I knew He is able to do the impossible, and that I trusted Him. I was convinced of this and in hope expected for the answer.

And, you know, the Lord really did the impossible every time. No matter how unrealistic it was to fix those situations, change circumstances and get out of hopelessness, every time I witnessed inexplicable changes in my circumstances. I saw how circumstances changed in an absolutely incredible way, and I just cannot explain it in any logical way, except to tell you: “It was God’s miracle.”

Break your limiting beliefs by deciding to have faith, based not on your understanding of what’s possible, not on what you think how ‘realistic it is’, but having faith in God based on Who God Is and what He says in His Word – HE IS ABLE and HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS WORD. No matter what in actuality is going on, you stand on God’s word and proclaim it. You proclaim your faith not based on what you see or what you think is possible, but based on what the word of God says. 

3. While holding on to the belief that you can do all things with God and all things are possible with Him, shift your focus from dwelling on how complicated your situation is to seeking for a solution.

Our mind is like a computer – it will give the answer according to our command, which is it will give the answers to the questions we ask ourselves. So it’s critical to ask yourself the question that will lead you to the solution:

  • Where is the solution to this?
  • What would you advise your best friend to do if they were in your situation?
  • If you could do anything, what would you do to fix and improve this situation?
  • If you could do one thing to resolve this situation, what would that be?
  • How could you make it happen, what are the ways?

And then, while holding on to your belief that it is possible and you will have a victory, focus on what you need to do to improve your situation and take action.

Blessings in your journey and until next time! ~ Inga

P.s. I share my personal experience of my life’s transformation in my book “UNSTOPPABLE. It’s a Choice”. Grab your copy to be inspired and empowered to be unstoppable in your pursuits. 

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Posted by on September 18, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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WHAT BELIEFS ARE HOLDING YOU BACK? WHAT IF THEY ARE NOT TRUE AT ALL?

WHAT BELIEFS ARE HOLDING YOU BACK? WHAT IF THEY ARE NOT TRUE AT ALL?

Many people are not disabled physically, but I see how many of them disable themselves by living in the limiting beliefs of what’s possible, and what they’re capable of. 19 years ago, while I was in a recovery process after the life-altering car accident, I realized one thing that totally transformed the way I began seeing my physical limitations and, and that was the beginning of claiming back my independence and life’s recovery. I want to pass it on to you, so you too, could take a deep breath and spread your wings to the life that you meant to live.

When I fully realized that I no longer had my legs and my left arm was paralyzed with no chance to recover, I was devastated beyond my ability to describe it. It was pure unspeakable anguish and hopelessness. I just couldn’t see how I would be able to live without legs and only one arm. I had many questions about how I was going to take care of myself on a daily basis and live fully. There was one answer – I can’t do it anymore. My mom was helping me to get up, dress up, make a meal and basically, she had to help with everything. I can’t even describe how much I hated to be dependent on another person! But it seemed like this would be my reality for the rest of my life. There was no other way.

Six months after the crash, my mom and I stayed in the Orthopedic Rehabilitation Center to obtain artificial legs for me. I was told that it was impossible for me to walk due to my complicated physical condition. But I believed I would. In fact, I was confident without a doubt that I would. To the astonishment of those who considered it to be impossible I did walk, indeed. One day, as I was resting after my training, I suddenly realized, “Wait a minute. Why am I still asking mom to help me get up? It’s ridiculous – I can do such a difficult thing like walking with prostheses, but I still have my mom helping me with simple daily activities!”

See, in my mind (as well as my mom’s), there was a mindset that without legs and only one arm I was no longer able to do things, so I had to be helped. Now that I had achieved something that professional specialists stated to be impossible, there was a big question mark in my mind about what I was really capable of. Suddenly I realized that my limitations were only in my mind, in my beliefs. I was fully aware that I could do much more than what it seemed at first and I decided to push my limits. That day I declared my independence stating, “Yes, I can do it. I will figure out how to do everything on my own and will become fully self-sufficient.”

From then on, I started looking for ways to do everything on my own. First of all, the goal was to find a way to sit up by myself from a lying position, and with the help of a physical therapist, we found a way.  I began figuring out ways of dressing up independently and performing various daily activities by myself. I didn’t allow myself to think whether I could or could not. My new mindset was – I can without a doubt, I only need to find a way how to do it. Instead of saying to myself, “I am disabled and I can’t do this anymore,” I would say, “Yes, I can and I will find a way to do this.”  I began changing how I speak by eliminating phrases – “I can’t” or “IF I can”. I began refusing to receive any help from my mom (which was not easy for her to accept J ), and I gave myself no other option but to get it done without any help.  When I needed to do something with one hand, holding on to the belief – I can and I will – I asked myself, “HOW can I do this? What is the way? What possible options are there to resolve this?” As simple as it seems, this is the key to how I am able to do things independently. Changing my mindset and asking myself the right questions are the keys to how I managed many of my difficulties in life and overcame all obstacles.

As I look back, changing my way of thinking was one of my biggest breakthroughs which empowered me tremendously and opened the doors to new opportunities.

Since that time, when my limiting beliefs of what I could do and what I thought was possible was replaced by new beliefs, and I began mastering my way of thinking, the restoration of my independence and my life has taken to a whole new level. A few years later, I traveled by myself from Lithuania to the United States to pursue my dream. Now it’s been 14 years that I live across the globe from my family, fully independently (I can take care of all my personal needs, take care of the household matters, laundry, shopping, cooking, going to work, etc.) My physical limitations are still the same BUT BREAKING LIMITATIONS IN MY MIND, IN MY BELIEFS totally transformed what I was able to achieve, and ultimately directed my destiny in a way that is beyond I could ever even dream of.

And what about you? I urge you to look inside yourself and test your deep beliefs. What do you believe and what are you convinced about that it may not be true at all, and this only stops you from trying, from achieving what your heart desires? What belief is holding you back from fulfilling your purpose? As long as you are convinced that something is impossible or that things will not work out for you, it really will be true. But this remains true only as long as you hold on to this belief.

Break through the beliefs that keep you locked in a cage. Do not allow your limiting beliefs to steal the life from you that you are called to live. In your life, there is much more that you can do, fulfill and enjoy!

How to change your beliefs and to do what you thought you couldn’t do? I will share in the next post. Blessings to you, until next time!

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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My Book “UNSTOPPABLE. It’s a Choice” published

Greetings Friends,

I know I did not post anything for a while. It has been an extremely busy time lately. There are many changes! Before I continue, I want to announce that I moved my blog to my new website http://becomingunstoppable.org

I encourage you to go to the website and subscribe there, so you receive my blog messages and updates. I probably will be discontinuing blog here, so visit my new website and subscribe, so we can continue the journey together.

There you will find Blog as well as videos from my interviews and speaking events, information about the book, photos, and information about public speaking and coaching services I offer.

In my Blog, I will share messages of inspiration, faith and some self-management tools that will strengthen your faith, empower you to handle your own challenges and will equip you to break through the obstacles, while you are in the process of creating the life you are longing to live.

In the Menu, you will see the Blog tab, which separates into two separate categories – Faith & Stories of Answered Prayers and Self Management /Life Coaching.

picture with the book

 

The great news is that my book ‘Unstoppable. It’s a Choice’ is now PUBLISHED! I began receiving feedback and reviews from readers. Friends, I don’t know if I am still dreaming or is it really true that my manuscript is an actual book. I must tell you that my road to this moment was long and even painful at times. My seven-year writing journey began when my brother’s cry for help reached me.

In April of 2007, I received a text message from my brother, which shook me to the core of my being. It was very disturbing. I knew something really bad had happened. As I was wondering what I could do to help him, a clear thought came to me “Write him a letter.” It was an inspiration/direction that I needed to write him about my own recovery after the car accident; write about the source of my inner strength and tenacity, how I was able to not give up no matter how hopeless it seemed, and what was behind my successful achievement of goals that others claimed to be impossible. Even though my brother was by my side for many years and watched me making decisions and working toward my goals, he never knew the reasons behind my relentless perseverance, which ultimately brought me to the life that seemed impossible to ever attain. And now, I was inspired to tell it all to help my brother not to give up and recover from his own adversity.

I never considered I could write well. But my love for my brother and urging feeling that I needed to do that won my insecurity. So I got on my computer and wrote him a long open conversation from my heart. My brother responded very positively to my offer to write him letters and asked me to keep writing. So I did. After a while, brother opened up to me that he was in such dark hopeless place that he didn’t see the way out. Even thoughts of suicide began coming to him with persistence. But now, he got out of hopelessness and had the hope and direction in life. “My little son still has his daddy alive because of your letters, Inga. Continue writing and publish a book to help other people,” he added.

I never thought I could write a book. But, I decided to write and publish it, just as brother encouraged me. I believed if this saves the life of at least one more person, if it makes a difference to someone else, it will be all worth it. I did not have the editor nor did I have the money to publish it. But, I believed it all would come when it’s time to publish it; I just needed to do the work – write it. So, I began working on it using every free time-frame to write. There were many difficulties and obstacles to complete this book and publish it. It was a long seven-year consistent and relentless work to bring this book into existence.  And indeed, when the manuscript for the book was complete, everything necessary for the book to be published came – everything came at the same time. It’s just incredible how the Lord provided!

It turned out that when I was ready to edit the manuscript and was wondering where I could find a good professional editor, at that time the company where I work at as a Public Relations person, hired a temporary contractor for certain project. And, to my surprise, Bob was a seasoned professional editor and has worked with the former President of the U.S. and other known public figures and companies. Shortly after his arrival, Bob agreed to edit my book once the funds arrive.

I needed $10.000 to cover editing and publishing expenses, and I had no idea where I could get the funds from. So, in my prayer I brought my need before the Lord, asking Him to help me with funding if it’s the right time for me to publish this book. Few weeks since the prayer, I met for lunch with an acquaintance of mine, who after hearing my updates on the book, a week later handed me an envelope with a check for $10.000 saying “I know this money belongs to your Unstoppable. Go ahead, edit it and publish it to bring it to the world.”

The Lord doesn’t stop astounding me! And, He showed it again – all things are possible for Him. Circumstances, money, people’s hearts… everything is in God’s hands. What is required of us is obedience to His voice and faithfulness to the work that He entrusts us to do. And the rest… whatever seems impossible becomes very possible when the Lord provides.
I put all my heart into this work. I wrote it with love and much care, revealing my true story. Beginning with the story of my car crash, I share how difficult the recovery process was after losing my legs and the use of my left arm. I share what gave me hope and determination to restore my life. Going against circumstances and opinions of others, I aimed for goals that seemed beyond my grasp. Finally, I traveled independently from Europe to the U.S. to implement my dream. The narrative is intertwined with a love story that brought me even more emotional anguish than the car accident. At that point, I felt totally broken and no longer had I the strength or desire to fight for my life. But, I had to ask myself whether I was going to allow other people’s choices to break me and my destiny. I made the choice to get up and continue on. With the Lord’s help, I picked myself up, returned to the US and continued pursuing the life I desired to live.

While I was writing this book, I saw how my decisions not to give up and be unstoppable in my pursuit totally transformed those tragedies and hardships that I faced. It really shows that it’s not what happens to us and not other people’s choices determine our future, but our decision what we’re going to do with it all that ultimately determines our destiny. The entire book shows the power of our decisions that are made by us, once we stand at the crossroads of a choice.

The book includes my real letters to my bother, which are written in a coaching style. So while sharing my story, I coach the reader, who is facing any type of difficulties and desires to improve his or her life.

Be it a life-altering adversity in your life, or this monster called depression, obstacles that make your goals hard to reach, bad decisions in the past or any hardships that you face, reading the book you will find a roadmap how to trust the Lord in the midst of troubles, how to overcome depression and thrive again, how to break through hardships, overcome obstacles and achieve any goals, ultimately creating the life you desire.

My hope and aim for this book are to inspire, encourage, ignite faith, and give practical knowledge that will equip the reader to overcome and succeed.

Some of the reviews can be found on my website http://becomingunstoppable.org/about-the-book/reviews/
The book is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, GoodReads.

 

Now that my book is published, I follow my calling and purpose to fulfill my promise to God which I made 17 years ago, and reach out my hand to those who are struggling and going through hardships, who desire to improve their lives but don’t know how, who experienced adversity and need to recover from pain and continue on.

I and my friend and Associate Anzhelika Polyak (another Lithuanian, whom I met in San Francisco in one of the events where I was a guest speaker at the Christian Church)  are establishing a company ‘Becoming Unstoppable’, which has a mission to make a difference in people’s lives by bringing the message of hope, sharing a personal testimony of the living God’s power to restore the broken and turn the impossible into possible. Along with the message about faith, Becoming Unstoppable shares practical guidance and self-management strategies/tools to empower people to keep on going and break through any circumstances to create the lives they’re longing to have.

Since my car accident, I have done a number of public speaking engagements and interviews in Lithuania and in the United States for TV programs, radio and publications for inspirational purposes and I am looking forward to continuing sharing my message.

If you would be interested in having me as a guest speaker, please connect with me.

I can be reached via Admin@BecomingUnstoppable.org, or my information can be found on the website www.BecomingUnstoppable.org

 

These are my updates. I hope, reading my message you were encouraged.

By for now, hope to see you on the Becoming Unstoppable!

 

Inga

 

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Thanksgiving. The Lord Made This Year Extraordinary.

Thanksgiving. The Lord Made This Year Extraordinary.

Amazing Things that the Lord has done in the past 8 months, made this year extraordinary. May these testimonies of how the Lord answers prayers and how He turns the impossible into possible, encourage you and strengthen your faith.

Thanksgiving is my favorite American Holiday because it’s the time when we can stop our busyness and think of what we are grateful for. As I reflect on the year that is about to end, I feel pure gratitude. It was an extraordinary year. Finally, I see my dream and my goals coming to a fruition. The vision that I had several years ago is turning into reality. The entire year is full of ongoing testimonies how God has a perfect timing, how he can change circumstances around like in a chess game and how He can perfectly arrange every detail in our lives.

The new year of 2017 began with focus and disciplined ongoing work continuing editing my book “Unstoppable”. On my days off from my primary work, I worked with the content up to 10 and at times 15 hours straight. It wasn’t easy. Interesting coincidence – I finished editing process a night before my move with a friend to a new apartment! With that, I opened a new chapter. 🙂

I am grateful for the new apartment that Anzhelika and I got. It’s quite a story how we got it, a testimony how the Lord can change circumstances. When I went to my Apartments manager to ask if I could move to a 2-bedroom apartment on the first floor, she said there were no apartments available, and there would be no openings in the near future. But I knew the Lord could re-arrange the availability and suggested to my friend to pray about it.  If there was Father’s will that we would move in together, He will make it happen. So we began praying for God to make apartment available for us if there was truly His will for us to live together. In my prayer, I also asked the Lord to arrange apartment that would have at least one room’s windows facing the West because I wanted to see sunsets in my home. It brought us happy smiles and astonishment  when despite manager’s assurance that there wouldn’t be any availability in many months and maybe even in a year or two, in 2 weeks one apartment became available for new renters – 2-bedroom apartment on the first floor and, it had all windows facing the West.:-) People are surprised why I don’t stop when someone says “No, it’s impossible”:) That’s exactly why – God whom I believe and worship has the last say in any situation. He can change any circumstances. We love our new home!

Anzhelika stepped out in faith and moved to Santa Rosa, leaving her secure job. Seeing how the Lord was leading us, blessing our work together based on the “Unstoppable”, and how He gave us the apartment, we decided to trust that the Lord would provide a job for Anzhelika in this area. Anzhelika, contrary to her personality of making sure she has everything securely lined up and in order, to her surprise she felt totally at peace, even though she had no idea where and how she would get a new job. And, the first miracle was instant – it turned out that her company had a branch office right here in Santa Rosa, and her employer did what they never did before – they allowed her to work from the branch office and work there as long as she finds a new job. Then, after weeks of searching for a new job, Anzhelika received an offer to join one company that she liked. When we prayed to the Lord about this new offered job, we told Him that we wanted to be sure it is from Him. ln order for Anzhelika to know this, we asked for three signs: the same or higher pay, the flexibility in her schedule in case she needs to travel with me for the “Unstoppable” and the last, that they would wait for her to return from vacation (the vacation could not be canceled). And, after the interview, Anzhelika told me the news – they offered a higher pay and much better benefits than she had before, she would have flexibility in her schedule and yes, they were willing to wait for her until she returns from vacation, even though there was another candidate for her position, who was more experienced in the field and could begin work as soon as the next day! So, that determined the decision.:-)

There was a valuable lesson in this. It’s easy to say “I trust God can provide” while you are in Church and have everything you need. But, it is not that easy to say it when you have nothing and to remain at peace, having unshakable faith that no matter how desperate it seems – the Lord will provide. I have experienced this time and time again, and now I got to witness it again – the miracle of how the Lord provides happens when you receive Lord’s revelation and direction to do something, you don’t wait for perfect circumstances to do it, but instead you step out in faith into the unknown trusting that God will provide, and do what you have to do. The Lord is never late, and He provides. Those who wait on the Lord and trust in Him will not be ashamed.

Then, On June 2nd I received the disABILITY Champion Award from California Human Development for being a role model to people with disabilities and all who seek to overcome obstacles to lead self-sufficient lives, and for vital support of CHD’s disABILITY Services programs through my work at Disability Services & Legal Center.  It was quite a surprise to receive a letter that I was nominated and chosen to receive the award. I never aimed for any awards or special acknowledgments. I just love life. And, I make a continuous effort to make the best out of what I have and improve my life, to fulfill my purpose. But it was thrilling to stand on a stage with the Senator Mike McGuire and receive the award. Thank you, CHD!

Then, my Mom visited me in California again. I was so happy to spend a quality time with Mom; living a half-way world away from my family is a very high price to pay for the life I’ve chosen to live. It was heartbreaking to leave my family and I long for them daily.  But, now we had fun! Thanks to Anzhelika’s family, we got to visit Yosemite. The majesty of Yosemite mountains and waterfalls are breathtaking! And then, for my Birthday, Anzhelika, Mom and I went on the adventure – luxury 10-day vacation in Jamaica! Exotic island, bright sun, turquoise water, palm trees, swimming with dolphins… That was quite a vacation, which will definitely stay in our memories forever.

When 17 years ago I woke up in ICU without my legs and with severe injuries throughout my body, I would have called that person crazy, if someone had told me that I was going to visit exotic Jamaica island and swim with dolphins.:-) I could not even dream about swimming with dolphins; it seemed beyond the possibility for numerous reasons. And now, when I was in a water giving a kiss to a dolphin Susie, it brought me to tears.

It inspires me to say – if your life had an adversity or even a tragic turn, don’t rush to make the conclusion that you are broken, that you will never experience delightful moments, or that your destiny is destroyed. Never give up on your life. You don’t know what the future holds for you and a lot depends on you. It’s not the events and it’s not other people that can ruin your life, but it’s your choice to give up. Choose life. Choose to fight for your life no matter how hard it will be. It’s not going to be easy. It will require relentless effort and a lot of times pain and exhaustion. But it’s going to be worth it.

Then, after delightful vacation and seeing off my Mom back to Lithuania, I went back to focus and disciplined daily work with the book, doing the second round of editing with another editor, and this time focus was on grammar and polishing it. I had to go through entire over 200 pages manuscript, checking every sentence, every word. After countless hours of work, on October 30th I submitted the manuscript to the publisher. Finally.. It’s hard to realize that it’s being in the process of becoming an actual book. It all came from an inspiration, from an idea. I never considered myself to be an author. Never. I had no idea how to write a book! But I followed the inspiration and did what I was inspired to do.

This project was quite a test of faith and my faithfulness to the work I had to do. It was 7 years of hard relentless work not knowing how in the world I was going to publish it. I had no editor nor did I have the money to publish it. But, I thought if the Lord directed me to do this, then He would provide and the editor and the money when He sees it’s time to publish it.

And here you are. When the time was right, the editor, who edited former President’s book and is an awarded writer,  showed up in my life through my work and he agreed to edit “Unstoppable”. I began praying to the Lord, thanking Him for bringing the editor, but now the question was – where the money was going to come from? I had no idea. But I knew the Lord could do the impossible, and I asked Him to provide the money to pay the editor and to publish it.

In several weeks, I met with a person with whom we haven’t seen each other for a while. After hearing the last updates on the book, he said he would like to sponsor the book publishing. I told him not to rush to this step because this was a lot of money. I suggested going pray about it first. A week later, he invited me to meet with him again. As we were having lunch, he handed me a check for $10,000, saying “I prayed about it and I know this money belongs to the “Unstoppable”. Go ahead, edit and publish it.” With my eyes full of tears, I accepted the check. And, got to work. Now the  “Unstoppable” is in a publishers hands. It will come out Ja-Feb of a New Year, 2018.

I am also so grateful that the Sonoma County fires did not reach our new home. At some point, we were surrounded by fires, and whichever direction wind would blow – the fires were going to get closer to us. I am blessed to have Anzhelika and her family, who were our shelter during the week of fires. We all prayed for the Lord to protect our home, and our home was not touched. Praise be to God… My heart goes to all families who lost their homes and everything you had. It’s heartbreaking. I would like to be helpful at least in some way so I will begin a Blog How to Recover After Adversity, where I will share steps that helped me to recover after the crash and other hardships I had encountered. I hope it will be a blessing to those who will read it.

 

And now, as we are about to enter into a new year, my friend and I are wondering, what 2018 is going to look like?  What’s next?

 

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Make Your Life a Masterpiece

Now, as my major event is over (one of my duties at work is organize annual fundraiser), I am happy to be able to focus again on editing and improving my book “Unstoppable”. As I was editing my last chapter of the book, which summarizes many experiences and lessons about choices, I was inspired to share a part of it with you. 🙂 I hope you will enjoy it. Please leave me your feedback, it is truly very valuable to me.

 

…I don’t understand many things. But what I do know that it’s not what happens to us and not really what people do to us what determines the quality of our lives, but how we respond to it and what we choose to do about it. Sure, we don’t have a choice of what happens to us or what other people’s choices are, but we always have a choice what we are going to do afterward. We always have a choice to complain, blame and spend our lives in misery and regret. But we also have a choice to get up and shake off the dust, accept the responsibility and relentlessly move on creating the life we desire. And that will make us either a victim who blames someone else for the unhappiness, or it will make us the unbreakable fighter, who gets to fulfill our intention in spite of all because we never stopped and never gave up.

I do know that we can achieve anything we set our minds to, if we truly desire it, do whatever it takes to achieve it and have unshakable faith that we are going to succeed. I do know that all things are possible with God if we believe. I don’t understand how it works out that way, but I’ve experienced this countless times and now I do know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are chosen according to His purpose, just as it’s written in the Bible. This has taught me a great lesson not to be stressed or terrified when things don’t go my way; all works together for good – even problems.

I also know that our own daily choices and decisions create subsequent events and ultimately direct our destiny one or another way. Sometimes, our one choice – ONE Single Decision – can literally direct our life journey one or another direction. Painful ad even devastating mistakes have taught me to be very careful with decisions I make. Also, our daily, weekly, monthly choices compounded deliver their results as well.  They may seem quite insignificant, and even they may not even appear like choices. But they are. And, those little choices repeated on a continuous basis over time soon will deliver its fruit.  Every time we decide to do something or not is a choice. We stand at those crossroads many times in life. They might not even feel like crossroads; yet, they are.  And the choice of which path we take literally directs our destiny.

 

You may make numerous mistakes yet and will fall down, but it’s not your mistakes what show who you are. It’ s whether you choose to get up each and every time and learn from your mistakes that show who you are. It’s what you choose to do with all that happens in your life that will make your life worth living or miserable.

Don’t waste your precious time for things that don’t matter. This way you will only create the life that doesn’t really matter. Use the given time to design a purposeful and fulfilling life. Make your life count.

Lay a firm foundation for yourself that you will always make a choice that will align with your purpose. You will always make a choice to overcome and do the best you can under any circumstances. Make a non-negotiable decision that you will never give up, no matter what it takes for you to take another step.

 

Remember, it’s all about the choices you make. We all have choices, and we are going to have what we choose.

 

I have learned that our destiny will greatly depend on whether we choose life according to the Lord’s will or life according to our own ways. What I do know is that living in a righteous way before the Lord God and trusting Him wholeheartedly at all times is going to bring a much more secure, fulfilling and purposeful life. And after all, we will have a joyous life that will last the eternity for our soul’s existence does not end the journey here on the earth. By bringing you my experience, I want to inspire you to choose wisely. Our Father God has His will for us and yet He has given us a freedom of a choice.

15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, 16 in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, 18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;20 that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; (Deuteronomy 30:15-20)

 

So, I invite you to take a deep breath with me. Let’s you and I choose life. Let’s continue on creating the lives that the Lord has called us to live.

Life is not a rehearsal. You get to do it only once.

Life is like an art.  Your decisions shape and consistent daily actions create this unique piece of art.

Make your life a masterpiece!

Inga

IngaMIV_1

 

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Feel defeated by problems and failed from past mistakes? Turn this around and make your experience work for you.

Happy New Year to you! I hope you enjoyed the beautiful Holiday Season, sharing your time with family and loved ones. And now, it’s a new year. It’s a new beginning. I noticed that in December more people have subscribed to my Blog. You made me smile, and I thank you for that!

As we all start a new year, many of us take the time to see what kind of year it was for us, and then we make new resolutions for the new year. This time I am inspired to write an article about how to deal with past mistakes or failure to achieve goals in a way that will empower you, instead drowning into gloomy feeling of failure and regret. Usually, among all the goodness and joy of success, life also has storms, and I want to share something that will empower you, if you did have some problems and failure to meet your goals successfully. Also, I want to share a resource about goals that will give you some ideas and insights how to actually achieve your goals and implement your New Year resolutions. This is a video with Michael Hyatt. I personally found this video very valuable, and you will see the link to it at the end.

But before looking into new goals and new resolutions, I wanted to share what I call a Self-Management tool that has greatly empowered me in my own journey. Every one of us go through trials, difficulties and we don’t always achieve all of our goals. Normally, looking back into difficult situations or goals that we wished to achieve but for whatever reason we didn’t, doesn’t make us feel good, right? 🙂 It may make us feel disappointed, upset, sad, failed and similar. Well, there is something you can do to turn this around. You still can feel the progress and and find the value when you look at your problems and failure to implement your goals. It is important because not having control over your own thoughts and feelings about your past mistakes makes a big impact on your esteem and confidence, which automatically affects your decisions and actions in the future. It all ties up in one unit. Our successful or not successful results greatly depend on our inner state. It is just one of the many key components, but is a critical one.

Normally, difficulties bring up negative emotions. Failure to achieve goals cause pain as well. But here is the trick: you will feel negative about it all only if you look at it from a perspective that makes you focus on the pain, hardship, failure and defeat. What if you look at it from a different perspective? Every situation has two sides of the coin –  good and bad.  You already know what the bad side looks like, and dwelling on it will only make you miserable. So, instead of focusing on the hardship and pain, asking yourself questions that bring even more pain, shift your focus on the other side – what is the value of it all?  Instead of dwelling on the fact that you did not achieve what you were aiming for or blaming yourself for making poor choices and wrong decisions, ask yourself questions, which will deliver answers that will  show you the value in all that had happened. Look at the good side of the coin and spend more time analyzing that side. You will be surprised what you will see! You will  see very valuable lessons in those situations. You will know what Not to do and what you can do better next time. You will have valuable insights. You will see what Lord was doing with your heart behind those difficult circumstances. You will learn something new about yourself. You will see testimonies of the power of prayer and unshakable faith. You will see a lot of good in all those problems and not achieving goals. I personally don’t even regret about tough times, because I see a great value in it all. I would not like to repeat it, but I honestly am glad I have gone through it and would not trade it now, because I see a lot of lessons that will greatly benefit me in the future.

So how to turn this around? First of all, ask yourself a question that will deliver you the answers that will empower you instead of the answers that will make you dive in to sadness and defeat. Ask yourself questions that will make you see the value in your experience, will equip you with lessons for the future and will give you direction what you can do to improve your circumstances and your strategy to implement your vision.

If you had made poor decisions or faced some tough problems, some of the questions you can ask yourself:

“What am I supposed to learn from this?”

“What insight does it bring to me?”

“What have I learned from this particular situation, which I would not have learned otherwise?”

“What purpose does this have in my journey?”

“What conclusions and lessons am I getting, so I know how to do better in the future?”

If you miss your goal and did not get to implement your vision, you may ask yourself:

“What can I learn from this?”

“What held me back from achieving it?”

“What do I need to change in order to get it this time?”

“What skills or knowledge do I need to acquire?”

“What can I extract from this experience that is beneficial for my future efforts to achieve my goal?”

Asking the right question will bring your attention to the value instead of the failure. Then, be in charge of your Focus. You will see that, which you choose to focus on. Are you going to focus on your poor choices and blame yourself for it, or are you going to focus on the lesson and the value this situation has brought into your life? Are you going to focus on the fact that you missed your goal and feel like a failure, or are you going to focus on the lesson and insights that you have extracted and will be determined to get it this time? This internal process will have a great impact on your inner state and your future decisions.

I am not saying we should neglect poor decisions and just be “positive“, pretending that everything is fine, no.  It is necessary to face the truth, but the purpose of it is to learn and see where we need to make changes, instead of blaming ourselves and feeling bad about it all. Make yourself a rule – the only reason for me to look back to my mistakes, wrong choices or not achieved goals is to seek for value in it.  It may sound like a cliche and too simple for it to do some big change. But please trust me, applying this simple rule will make a significant change in your life.

So, by equipping yourself with learned lessons from your mistakes and by extracting from them insights, empowering conclusions, understanding and new inspirations, you will grow. You will see that problems and tough circumstances can strengthen you. Mistakes can make you wiser and more insightful. All difficulties and mistakes can work for you, if you choose them to play this role for you.

And now, leaving mistakes, regret and pain behind, enter your new year with all valuable insights and lessons that you extracted from difficult situations and circumstances. At this point, you are stronger, wiser and better equipped to conquer your future challenges. This new year you will do better, because you have learned what Not to do and What you can do better. As you are starting your new year, imagine you just opened a new chapter of your life book, where you will write countless incredible testimonies of God’s love and help, new exciting changes, implemented goals and joyous experiences.

And here is the video about designing your 2015 by setting and achieving your goals. I found this video very inspiring and instructional. It has a lot of great insights and ideas how to set and successfully achieve your goals. Click on the link below:

http://resolutions.bestyearever.me/

Hope this brought you some value and empowered you to shake off the dust and set yourself up to win the game! Make your year of 2015 a significant one!

If you have other ways that empower you to deal with past mistakes, please post it below to share it with the rest of us. If you want to reach me personally, please feel free to email me at inga_unstoppable@outlook.com

May God bless you in your journey to have continued success!

Be Strong.  Be Determined and Persistent. Be Unstoppable.

Yours truly, Inga 🙂

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How To Keep on Going?

How To Keep on Going?

Do you have a hardship that it makes you feel like you are reaching your limit and you just can’t take it anymore? Are you facing obstacle that is like unmovable rock and after your continuous, but unavailing efforts you are contemplating on letting it go?
As we go through our life journey, every one of us experience heat and cold, sun and rain, valleys and hills covered with green and flowers, and also the dessert with no water or liveliness. Difficulties are just the same part of life as everything else that we consider good and we are not going to avoid them as much as we would like to. Even if we were absolutely perfect and did not make any mistakes, then there would be an impact from the outside that would cause us problems, right? Some are easier to deal with, and some of them sometimes bring us to the point when we feel like we just can’t take it anymore and we are very close to say “Forget it, I am done with this”. Does that sound familiar to you?

Quite often I am asked “How do you keep on going, Inga? You are so strong, where do you get the strength?” And since it is one of the most frequent questions I am asked, I decided to analyze myself, collect my observations and share it with others.

As I was on my journey of returning back to life by becoming independent and leading a dynamic life again after losing both of my legs and the use of my left arm, I had continuous battles with some serious obstacles, challenges and pain. Losing nearly half of my body at the age of 22 brought an enormous challenge just to function daily, in addition to the enormous emotional and physical pain. Then, life threw at me such challenges that at times it was simply unbearable to live another day. On my way I kept meeting obstacles that ironically smiled at me conveying the message that I won’t be able to move beyond them. Before I successfully achieved my Impossibles (it’s not a mistake; I just made up that word from adjective to a noun in a plural form ), for quite some time my strenuous efforts seemed absolutely meaningless as I did not see the fruit of my labor after countless hours, months and even years of work. The loss, wordless betrayals and disappointments appeared over and over and over…. How do you get up, how do you break through and keep moving on? Sometimes I even asked myself How much more can I take? But then, I would pull myself together and continue my journey toward my ultimate vision.

As I was analyzing what makes me get out of bed in the morning, break through those barrier walls and keep on going, I realized that all these years I was unconsciously applying the same strategies of how I deal with challenges and obstacles that try to prevent me from taking another step. It’s not that I am stronger than you. I just know my source of strength that is my Rock solid foundation and I know strategies to deal with challenges and tools to overcome obstacles. And I applied it. That’s all. I truly sincerely believe that anyone can successfully handle their difficulties. It’s just a matter of knowing and applying. I want to share this with you and others, so you can take it and apply it in your own life.

I will start with the first key, which may seem very invisible at first, but plays incredibly significant role in our lives. When I look back, I see that there was always a very fine line between continuing my life in misery blaming unfortunate events or other people, and me attaining a fully engaged and meaningful life. There is a fine line between some entrepreneurs, like for instance the publisher of Success magazine Darren Hardy, who became highly productive and successful and those who cannot see results that they dream about in their own businesses. There is a fine line between the Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker Nick Vujicic , who leads an extraordinary life even though he was born without his legs and without arms and those who are miserable even though they have everything they need to lead a fulfilling life. What was that fine line that made such a big difference in my personal experience and in the lives of many over-comers and high achievers? What can determine which direction our lives will take after some adversity strike us or when just simple daily difficulties take place in our lives?

It’s a Choice.

It was my choice what I decided to do when I was hit by those difficulties. I didn’t think about the power of the choice at the time, I was just totally committed to my ultimate outcome and I was doing everything possible to continue on my journey to implement that outcome. But after certain personal experiences, and observing other successful people, I clearly see that our choices how we handle those challenging times determine what’s next.

All of us have difficulties in our lives, and each of us handle them differently. While we are going through some hardships, we don’t always think about what’s far ahead, because we are focused on the moment and how we feel at that time. Often we make unconscious decisions in order to get away from pain as soon as possible regardless of its subsequent affect later on. But the fact is that our decision during the difficult time of how we are going to look at the situation (choosing the perspective) and what we are going to do about it, will determine what’s next for us. It is our choice during the difficult time whether we are going to allow that hardship to sweep away our decision to pursuit our aim or we are going to push through and continue our pursuit. So it is very important to keep in mind what is our current goal in the progress and what is our ultimate vision, and respond to the hardship in such a way that will support and not jeopardize our desired ultimate outcome.

There is always a choice to step into the victim’s role and blame somebody else for our broken destiny or failure to achieve our goal. At the same time, there is a choice to accept the responsibility for our current circumstances, be determined to make a change and take action to improve our situation. There is always a choice to take an easier route that does not require our efforts and discipline. There is also a choice to make an effort to change our life’s direction and relentlessly work to implement the outcome that we decide to have in our life. There is always a choice to use the given time to entertain ourselves, and a choice to use the same time to do something for the attainment of our goal and fulfilling our purpose. There is a choice to adopt the belief that nothing can be changed and go along with whatever circumstances show up in life, justifying it by “that’s just life” or another very famous one “I guess that’s just my destiny”. Right beside us, there is another choice to believe that there must be a way. With God’s help we will be able to make a change and improve our circumstances, regardless of how bad it is at the time. It’s not occurred events that determine how our lives are supposed to be, but God’s will for us and our decision what we are going to do in each situation. 

At the door of each difficult situation, there are always two choices that are waiting for our pick. These two choices are going to take us on different paths, and each of those choices will deliver totally different results.

“Sure, I would like to make the right choice. But how can I make it, how do I make that step forward, when I just feel tired, frustrated, disappointed, and at times I just don’t want to get out of my bed and do anything…How do I keep going on?”, – you may ask.
Yes, I know. It is very hard to think about things that you need to do when you don’t want another morning to come. This feeling is so familiar to me. But there is a way. I am going to share it with you as we move along.

Today, think about the power of the choice, because the determining factor whether you are going to live your dream or you will remain where you are now is your choices and decisions compound. Know that “I am done with this” or “I don’t feel like doing any of it today” is just simply an emotion, affected by certain events. Today you feel depressed and don’t feel like doing anything, so you decide to stay in bed and watch TV. Tomorrow you feel like you can’t take it anymore and you drop the ball. Another day you feel you need to take it easy, because it has been stressful lately, so you decide to entertain yourself. Time will go by very quickly, and those emotions will pass as well. And where will you be if you make your decision based on your emotions? You will have to live where your choices have brought you.
Is it worth it?
Is it easier to put it off to another day? Yes it is. But again, is it worth it?
Sometimes, our one choice – One Single Choice – can literally direct our life journey one or another direction. Also, our daily, weekly, monthly choices compound deliver their results as well. They may seem quite insignificant, and even they may not even appear like choices. But they are. Every time we decide to do something or not to do is a choice.

Just simply know that while you are going through a hardship, it is best to not allow your emotions to determine your decision what you are going to do with that situation and what you are going to do about your ultimate goal, because if you do – most chances are you will regret about it later. Have a rule to yourself that you are going to move forward relentlessly regardless of obstacles and any hardships that you will meet on your way.

Sure, there are times when some troubles can hit us very hard, and our well-being becomes a priority. (Our physical health, spiritual and emotional well-being is the #1 care, since we won’t be able to have any productivity if we are not doing well, right?) But with that, we need to be honest with ourselves, if this is a really serious issue that must get our care and attention, or is just a simple “feeling down” because we are not in a mood, the weather change or another routine disappointment. I believe the difference can make a person’s understanding that Procrastinating to get things done to “another time” or “when I feel better” is just a simple, invisible and yet dangerous time waster, which delivers an instant relief, but after a period of time brings us the irreversible result – we lose the time that we had to bring our vision to fruition. The longer we wait – the more time we waste, while our projects remain to be not completed. And what’s even worse, by waiting until we feel better we might miss our greatest opportunity. Again, there must be a balance in everything, but it is always good to have that awareness of what is really happening behind our decision “to do it another day.”
During my personal journey, I simply knew that the only way for me to get out of the pit was to be relentless and in spite of it all do everything possible to implement the outcome that I decided to attain. I was always aware that my daily consistent action is a step closer to the realization of my dream, whether it was to walk again or establishing my independent living in the United States. I knew that by canceling my daily work for whatever reason meant I was putting off reaching my ultimate goal to a later as well. In my mind I had a very simple math – doing the work meant getting closer to my goal’s achievement, and procrastinating in my action pushed my goal further away from me. I wanted to reach my goal as soon as possible, so I was committed to do exercises, work hard and just do what I had to do regardless of whether I felt like it or not. When I was facing betrayals and people’s acts that directly and destructively impacted my life, I knew that I could not allow myself to give up on my life only because of another person’s certain act toward me. My life was way too precious for me to allow anybody or anything to stop me from making it blossom again. I moved on because I clearly realized that it’s not other person’s act toward me that could destroy my future, but my choice to give up after that.
Other people and outside events can impact your life and they may even stop you temporarily. However, the ultimate outcome will be determined by you. Are you going to allow your emotions to put your project aside, or are you going to push through and make an effort to do at least something to bring yourself closer to your ultimate aim? Are you going to remain in the pit and wallow in your misery blaming the person or the event, or are you going to shake it off, learn your lessons and move on toward your vision in spite of it all? Are you going to give up when challenges show up, or are you going to break through and reach your destination anyway?
It’s your choice.
Lay a firm foundation for yourself that you will always make a choice that will align with your purpose. You will always make a choice to overcome and do the best you can in any circumstances. Make a non-negotiable decision that you will never give up, no matter what it takes for you to take another step. So when you face some tough situation, don’t rush to do anything out automatic reaction. A lot of times we just react, making unconscious choices based on our habitual mental patterns. Stop. Make a conscious decision. Think about the situation in a big picture. Where are you going? Try to see those two choices, and ask yourself “The choice that I am going to make now, where will it bring me ultimately?”

What is that beautiful place in your life where you are headed? Look how far you have made it! I am sure you have had some obstacles on your way before you got here. And today, one of the combining reasons why you are successful or have not reach your desired outcome is how you dealt with those hardships and stumbling blocks, would you agree?

Today is your opportunity of many choices. Tomorrow is a new day, which is a new opportunity to use your given time and make choices that will get you closer to your vision, or away from it. Your own choice will determine it.
Life is like an art piece. Our decisions shape and consistent daily actions create this unique piece of art. Make your life a masterpiece.

I hope this add some value to you. I cannot stress enough how important it is. If you would like to share with me and other readers your thoughts, feedback and your experiences by posting right below, I would be absolutely delighted to hear from you! Also, please pass this on to others, if you know someone who might benefit from it.

I will continue sharing with you How to break through and keep on going. Until then, use what you just read. It will make a difference.

Here are few questions that you may ask yourself to help you:

  • Choices that I am making during difficult times – do they work for me or against me? Are they bringing me closer to my goal? If not, what different choices do I need to make in order to start consistently moving forward?
  • The choice that I will make now – is it going to bring me closer to my ultimate vision or pull me away from it?

If you would like to have some support through the coaching process, I am just an email away. Please email me inga.lizdenyte@gmail.com

And like always, I wish you to Be Strong. Be Determined and Persistent. Be Unstoppable! 

~ Yours, Inga

http://www.ingalizdenyte.com/Coaching.html

 

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