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How To Believe In What You Think Is Impossible?

How To Believe In What You Think Is Impossible?

In my last post, I talked about how our beliefs have a tremendous impact in our lives.  So many people hold limiting beliefs of what they’re capable of and what’s possible, which robs people of their full potential and the lives that they could live. I shared my personal experience of how changing my limiting beliefs and my way of thinking empowered me tremendously to transform my life after losing both of my legs and the function of my left arm.

When I began mastering my beliefs and my way of thinking, the restoration of my independence and my life has taken to a whole new level. Through the experience, I have learned that as long as you are convinced that you cannot do something, or that something is impossible, it really is true. But it remains true only as long as you hold on to that belief.

The link to my first post: https://ingalizdenyte.me/2019/08/27/what-beliefs-are-holding-you-back/

In this post, I want to continue: How to Change the Beliefs That Limit Us? How can we do that which we thought we couldn’t do?

What is a belief? A belief is nothing but what we consider to be true, what we feel certain about.

For the most part, beliefs are unconscious, and they come from the culture where we grew up, the philosophy of life, faith / spiritual beliefs, our life experiences or the opinions and experiences of those whom we trust and respect.

Essentially, beliefs are only assumptions we make about ourselves and others, about our circumstances and our destiny, about success and failure, and, other aspects of life. But are our beliefs really true? Unfortunately, the beliefs that we hold may be absolutely not true and they can jeopardize us.

How can I change my beliefs?  

  1. When you think you aren’t able to do something, answer to yourself:
  • How can you absolutely know that to be true? According to whom you are not capable of it?
  • Has there ever been a time when you thought you couldn’t do something and then it turned out it has not been the case?
  • What evidence do you have today which is the opposite of what you believe in?
  • If you would try to do what you thought you could not do, where would you begin?

2. When you face a situation that seems very difficult to resolve, something is impossible, instead of considering how big is the problem consider how mighty your God is.

Usually, when we encounter a problem, we first analyze what is happening, how difficult and how bad everything is, and we check if we can resolve it. And If the problem is beyond our ability to resolve it or it is out of our control we turn to God asking for His help.

BUT if we focus on how big the problem is and build our expectation of the result after the prayer based on our own understanding and viewpoint of what is possible, then it is hard to believe that we will receive help from the Lord after the prayer. “Well… I hope, but this problem is so big, I just can’t see how this can be resolved; I am too weak/too old/not educated/not capable and I don’t know if I can receive a job; he/she are way too stubborn and never going to change,” does it sound familiar?

And then doubt comes, fear and unbelief (and then we get the answer according to our faith). But this is a belief that is based on our assumptions, on our understanding, and not on the word of God. It is faith in our faith, not faith in God.

To me, one of the most prominent examples of what faith is – Abraham and Sarah.

Romans 4:18-22 says that Abraham, even though it seemed hopeless, he still in hope believed. It’s amazing that He did not even consider the realistic factors (that his body and Sarah’s body were way too old to give birth to a child and physically it was simply impossible). Abraham did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being fully convinced that what God has promised He was also able to perform. Sarah – accepted strength to conceive and gave birth to a child because she judged Him faithful who had promised (Hebrews 11:11)

Few details got my attention:

  1. For Abraham and Sarah it was a decision to believe God. It’s a conscious decision.
  2. They built their faith not based on whether it was realistic or believable to them what God has promised but based on WHO GOD IS – God is MIGHTY AND ABLE to do it and He is FAITHFUL to His word.

I personally experienced incredible evidence of the power of faith when I trusted God in hopeless situations and expected an answer, even if it was simply unrealistic to get the answer I wanted. So many times I was advised to think realistically and adapt to circumstances, but I did not want to live as circumstances allowed me. But there was no way to change these circumstances.

And I, feeling complete despair, decided to have a child-like faith that God is the one who is able to change my circumstances. I decided to rise above the realistic thinking and to believe that everything was possible for the Lord, because He created the Universe, and so He is able to change any circumstances. Every day in my prayer I continued telling Him that I knew He is able to do the impossible, and that I trusted Him. I was convinced of this and in hope expected for the answer.

And, you know, the Lord really did the impossible every time. No matter how unrealistic it was to fix those situations, change circumstances and get out of hopelessness, every time I witnessed inexplicable changes in my circumstances. I saw how circumstances changed in an absolutely incredible way, and I just cannot explain it in any logical way, except to tell you: “It was God’s miracle.”

Break your limiting beliefs by deciding to have faith, based not on your understanding of what’s possible, not on what you think how ‘realistic it is’, but having faith in God based on Who God Is and what He says in His Word – HE IS ABLE and HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS WORD. No matter what in actuality is going on, you stand on God’s word and proclaim it. You proclaim your faith not based on what you see or what you think is possible, but based on what the word of God says. 

3. While holding on to the belief that you can do all things with God and all things are possible with Him, shift your focus from dwelling on how complicated your situation is to seeking for a solution.

Our mind is like a computer – it will give the answer according to our command, which is it will give the answers to the questions we ask ourselves. So it’s critical to ask yourself the question that will lead you to the solution:

  • Where is the solution to this?
  • What would you advise your best friend to do if they were in your situation?
  • If you could do anything, what would you do to fix and improve this situation?
  • If you could do one thing to resolve this situation, what would that be?
  • How could you make it happen, what are the ways?

And then, while holding on to your belief that it is possible and you will have a victory, focus on what you need to do to improve your situation and take action.

Blessings in your journey and until next time! ~ Inga

P.s. I share my personal experience of my life’s transformation in my book “UNSTOPPABLE. It’s a Choice”. Grab your copy to be inspired and empowered to be unstoppable in your pursuits. 

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Who Will Design Your 2019?

Happy New Year!

As we begin a new year, we all are determined and enthusiastic and hoping this year will be a better year. And then, we get into a routine of daily to-dos, challenges, problems…

Who will end up designing your 2019? Random outside events? …Or YOU?

If you won’t be in charge of how your days go and which direction your year will take, then random events and circumstances will be in charge of your year. You will end up just reacting to whatever happens in your life.

You know, for many years I thought that my life depended on what my circumstances allowed me to do and to experience. I did not really have any aspirations, and I didn’t even think about any goals. I did not even have the concept of having a vision of what I wanted to achieve and deliberately creating what I wanted in my life. My understanding was that my life just depends on whatever happens on a day-to-day basis. With that mindset, I was going nowhere, only daily reacting to random events and the outside world’s impact on my life.

I lived this way until I got into the car accident and my life was brutally changed. Only then I learned that there is another way to live – you can design your life. You can set your mind on what you want to accomplish in your life and deliberately begin fulfilling it. I didn’t know then that this is what I was going to do. I just despised what the crash has created and I deliberately began changing my circumstances. I did what I had never done – I decided what I wanted in order to feel happy, set goals that would lead me to my vision and began living with intention. With time, by achieving one goal after another, I totally changed my life.

Now I know – Life is what you make it. And it begins with your awareness and decision to live with intention.

Don’t allow random outside events to design your year! YOU take the lead.

How? First, ask yourself what you really want.

  • What would make your year meaningful and purposeful?
  • What needs to happen for you to feel confident, truly happy and content?
  • What needs to change so you feel better about yourself and your life?
  • Is there anything you would like to do, to learn or challenge yourself and achieve?
  • What would make your life exciting and fulfilling?
  • What do you think the Lord wants you to fulfill?

Once you know exactly what you want, make a strategy how you’re going to make it happen. What are the possible ways to achieve it? What goals would bring you to your vision? You might say it’s impossible. But please hear me. I’ve been there. The life that I get to live today is not a mere coincidence nor am I just a lucky one. I deliberately aimed for it. And when I started planning how to change my circumstances and restore my life after the car accident, it was hard to even consider that my vision was possible. I was advised many times to think realistically – what I wanted was simply not possible. All circumstances were against me. Everywhere I looked there were tremendous difficulties and unchangeable obstacles in front of me.

But I knew that with God’s help I could change those circumstances. And indeed, when my efforts seemed powerless, the Lord stepped in and in the most incredible way, He arranged favorable situations, connected me with people who were willing to help me, and He created new opportunities where there seemed none. It was unbelievable! What you can’t do the Lord will. Just trust Him. Those who trust in the Lord will never be ashamed. But you need to be bold and step out of your comfort zone and design your year by living on purpose.

Live with intention every day. Always keep in mind where you are headed and be consistent in your efforts to achieve your aspiration. Big changes don’t happen overnight nor does success suddenly show up as ‘Luck’. It takes time. It takes relentless work. It’s your daily choices to make the effort and consistent actions compounded will deliver the successful result.

Please understand – you are the author of your life story. Your year and your life are in your hands, not in the hands of your circumstances or random outside events. With God’s help, you can have an incredible life.

Live with intention.  Make your 2019 an extraordinary year!

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Posted by on January 8, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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7 Steps How to Create the Life You Desire

I wanted to share with you something that might be life changing for you, as it was for me 16 years ago.

As I am getting closer to the day when I step into a new phase in my life, fully devoting myself to my calling and passion to help others overcome and achieve the lives they’re longing to live, this week I wanted to share with you something that might be life changing for you, as it was for me 16 years ago. And then, I have a gift for you – my model “7 Steps Forward”, a roadmap for changing your current circumstances and creating the life you desire.

Time after time I hear people saying “Well, that’s just how my life is.” Their sad eyes reflect their belief that circumstances are stronger than they are and that there is nothing much they could do about it. And, they settle for the life they have even though they are miserable. I still remember the time when I felt trapped by circumstances. I was so deeply depressed that I wished I didn’t even exist. But there was a day when I grasped one thing and that was a turning point in my life. Since then, I began intentionally to take action to change my circumstances, and my story evolved in an amazing way. My life transformed.
If you are not happy how your life goes and you also feel trapped in your current circumstances, this message is for you today.

Inga1

 

 

When I decided to start changing my life, I was in a dark and desperate place.  At the age of 22, overnight my life has brutally changed. More about what had happened, you can read in my earlier written “Stay committed to your decision and never, never give up”

At the time, losing nearly half of my body meant losing my life.  At the time Vilnius city was not accessible for people in wheelchairs, and that meant that I no longer could leave my home, go to the city or anywhere. I became literally imprisoned by the walls of my own home. My life turned into a dull and painful existence. The scariest thing was knowing that we couldn’t do anything to change the situation. Losing legs was not like getting a cut on your finger. It was a horrifying agonizing experience of the sudden change. Without me even realizing it, I stepped on a quicksand of deep depression. But, praise the Lord, there was a day when the despair was replaced by hope and a new vision.

I will never forget that beautiful sunny day when I realized that if I did not like how my life was – I could change it. Nothing – no accident, pain, challenges due to my changed physical condition, nor any other problems were going to rule how I felt and how I would continue my life journey.

Those desperate circumstances were created by the event – the car accident. So, if the circumstances and my life’s conditions could be changed by certain events, then by taking the initiative and action I could create a different kind of events and change my circumstances again! I didn’t have to give in and settle for what was created by the crash!

That moment something deep inside of me has shifted. Instead of continuing to live in despair and depression that my life was restricted by circumstances that the crash has created, I realized that there was no limit to what I want to create in my life – by taking an intentional action I could deliberately create circumstances that I desired. And, I believed with God’s help I was going to get out of this horrible place in my life.

I felt strong and determined to change my living conditions. I decided not to waste my time and not to allow the unknown to make me doubt, but take the initiative and start making changes to get myself out of the “dead-end”.

I asked myself what needs to happen, how my life needs to be for me to feel happy again. Then, I asked myself solution-oriented questions, determined my long term and short term goals, and strategized what exactly I needed to do to start the process.

First, I set the goals that helped me gain my independence back on a daily routine, along with the ability to walk wearing artificial legs.  Local prosthetic specialists tried to ensure me that in my physical condition of bilateral above the knee amputee and having one arm paralyzed it was impossible to walk wearing prosthetic legs. At that time I knew that the only way to change circumstances that made me depressed was to walk again so I would be able to get out my home and go to work again. I was ready to break through any obstacles to make it happen. So I told specialists that I would walk and would even dance, and they would see it.

In spite of much advice – to come to terms with a “disabled lifestyle” – I researched online about prosthetic legs worldwide, emailing prosthetic companies. My relentless perseverance to walk again brought me all the way to California, USA. Thanks to an American prosthetic specialist, who believed that my dream was possible and decided to help me, I fulfilled my vow. I walked and even danced, just as I said I would.

Then, a year later I moved across the globe from my family in Lithuania, EU and established my life in the United States even though at the time of my decision I had no place to live, no work, not a lot of money, and even no right to live and work in America. I always held my vision in my mind no matter what was going on in my life, and consistently worked toward my goals. A beautiful dream, which seemed impossible at the time, has become my reality.

Last night, as I was having my time of gratitude to the Lord, in my mind I stepped back and looked at my life from a bigger perspective. Just remembering where I began my journey and where my life is now, I was in awe. How incredibly my life has transformed! How great my God is!

I still remember very well those days when a full dynamic life having my physical limitations seemed impossible. I was told many times that I was aiming for goals that were simply unrealistic. It did seem like outrageous ambitions and yet, I believed there would come a day when I’d implement my dreams.  And, it’s been over a decade now that I live my dream.

The outrageous ambition is my life today –  I live a dynamic life residing in beautiful California, across the globe from my home country, am self-sufficient, work, build relationships with people, travel even more than I ever did prior the crash. Furthermore, I just fulfilled another impossible goal – published my book “Unstoppable. It’s a Choice”. And now, my eyes are set on another vision – creating my business Becoming Unstoppable, LLC to fulfill my promise to the Lord and help other people break through their hardships and create the lives they’re longing to live. It’s mind-boggling!

Please hear me – you can change your current circumstances if you are not happy with them. Current circumstances were created by your own choices made earlier. The same way, by making different choices and taking action, you can create different circumstances. Maybe you are dealing with some events you could not control. But remember, your life is in your hands, not in the hands of your circumstances. Your choice of what you are going to do about them from now on will determine your future events, and maybe even your destiny. Do not allow them to be in charge. It’s up to you to take charge of your circumstances and your life.

You are the author of your life story. You can pick up a pen and change your next Chapter. You can change it at any time. Even today. Even this moment can be fateful for you if you make the decision to open a new page and start writing in it what you want.

This is your life, your story, and nobody is going to create it for you, except you.

If you ask yourself “OK, but how can I possibly change my life? Where do I begin?”

I want to share with you the model that I personally used to transform my life so you can begin your journey anytime, even today. On the right side of my personal web page find and get “7 Steps Forward” How to Create the Life you Desire, which will be your roadmap.

If at any point you would like me to personally coach you, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

And, if you would like more practical tools that could guide you in your journey, I encourage you to read my book“Unstoppable. It’s a Choice” There I included all practical tools how to be strong, how to overcome, break through and achieve.

I hope this will give you a sparkle of hope and challenge your beliefs and expand your vision of what’s possible in your life. Remember, you can begin making changes even today. I will continue sharing messages to inspire and equip you with practical tools.

Meanwhile, be strong. Believe that with God all things are possible. Only you need to take initiative.

What will be your first step?

Inga

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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How to be Resilient, How to Recover from the Adversity? Step 2. Perspective.

How to be Resilient, How to Recover from the Adversity? Step 2. Perspective.

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Now that I look back and analyze myself what empowered me to recover my life after the devastating crash, I see there were several aspects that worked together intertwined. I talk about my faith a lot because the Lord has given me the strength, tenacity, opportunities, courage, endurance and a blessing in everything I aimed for. I would not have made it without the Lord. But then there are other aspects that I don’t talk much about – besides the Lord’s intervention and His blessing I work with myself a lot. There are several components that helped me to recover from my personal adversity:

  1. God’s blessing and unshakable faith
  2. Self-management
  3. Personal Action and relentless effort to do the best I can do under any circumstances.

Self-management plays a significant role and I want to elaborate on that aspect.  Overcoming deep depression, emerging from hopelessness, breaking through the impossible odds, achieving goals and positive mindset is not a coincidence, but it is a result. Or, in other words, it’s the fruit of my efforts that nobody sees. It’s the result of hard relentless work.

Have you thought about why some people give up and others overcome seemingly insurmountable situations which confront them? Why some people get depressed and give in to circumstances and others refuse to give in and find a way to improve their lives? Is it that some are stronger than others? I don’t think so. I believe that what sets those people apart is their ability to manage themselves.

What is self-management? It is the skill to master your perspective, your thought patterns, your thought focus and your feelings. It’s the ability to manage yourself. When you have the skills necessary to manage your inner state, you will be able to respond to life’s events in a way that empowers you. It is imperative to be able to manage your outlook and your inner state at all times because you make different choices and different decisions depending upon how you view a situation and how you feel at the time your decisions are made. Would you agree that you make different decisions when you feel hopeful, confident, tenacious, strong and determined, and make entirely different decisions when you feel hopeless and helpless, defeated, doubting and pessimistic?

There was a time in my life when I realized that in addition to God’s blessing, my experience greatly depended on how well I managed myself. My biggest eye opener and probably one of the most significant ones was when I realized that my experience about one or another event depended upon how I choose to look at it.

I learned and realized that thoughts and emotions don’t just “happen” to me, leaving me powerless against them. I choose what I think and what I focus on, what meaning I give to the events and what I am going to do about them. Nobody and no event has the power to make me feel in any particular way unless I allow it. I am the one who chooses my response, and that depends on my perspective and my interpretation of what it means to me.

We always in our mind communicate to ourselves what things mean to us, how we feel about occurred events and what we are going to do about it all. When we are doing well, we are excited and think about how thrilled we are that things are going well,  what it took for us to achieve success, and having an even stronger belief of what is possible for us, we move on to another venture. Likewise, in the event of various complex circumstances, we weigh our current situation, ask ourselves why it happened, and make conclusions and decisions for the future. While we are thinking about one or the other situation, we feel certain emotions. It’s easy to see the good side and feel positive emotions when the circumstances are in our favor. But it’s more challenging to feel positive if it’s a painful and difficult event for us.

One of the combining details that affect our inner state and our subsequent decisions is our how we interpret it and how we communicate it to ourselves. Depending on our perspective we will give the meaning to that particular event, and from there follows our emotions and decisions what we are going to do next.

Having the same event, we have a choice of how we will look at it and how we will interpret it.

  • Is this a punishment or is this a lesson for me?
  • Is this a crash or is it just the end of something that will be replaced by something that really needs to take place in my life?
  • Is this an unrecoverable tragedy or is it a test for me?
  • Is this a loss or an opened opportunity to have new and better?
  • Is this a dead end or is it a challenge for me to find a way because I know there must be the way?
  • Is this too much for me to handle or is this opportunity for me to overcome a new challenge and become stronger?
  • Is this a problem or is it a challenge for me to find a way, to improve and create what I want?

Let’s take a very simple example. Let’s say Dave come to work and finds out that he was let go. What is he going to do about it? It greatly depends on his perspective. He can see it as he’s not good enough and they are getting rid of him, it’s a big problem, it’s the end of his security and well-being. How will Dave feel? Most likely he will feel defeated, not needed, self-insecure, stressed, fearful for his future, not confident to look for another well-paid job. But what if this is an opportunity for him to get a better position? What if this door closes, so he would open another door to have a career that he really wants? Maybe this is an opportunity for him to apply for the position that he always dreamed about or maybe even create his own business? How will Dave feel having this perspective? Most likely he will feel having a new beginning, intrigued, excited about the change to a better, opportunity to learn new things and improve, eager to take action, curious, hopeful. Having this kind of perspective will make him feel in a whole different way and a very different behavior than in the first case. A person can have two different perspectives about the same situation and both of them will create totally different outcomes.

Let’s take a gambling game. It is just a game, nothing more.  But how we feel about it depends on how we look at it and what gambling game means to us. We can look at it as a fun time with friends, the excitement of a mystery of what’s going to happen next and a great opportunity to gain an unlimited amount of money with no effort and work.  Also, we can look at it as a waste of time, opening doors to something that can bring a great destruction into our lives and it is just throwing away our money that we can spend on something more meaningful.  It’s all how we look at it will make us feel about that object or any event.

What if we look at circumstances or occurred events as just the facts? The fact itself can’t make us feel in any particular way.  It is just a plain fact same way as an object. It’s how we look at the fact will shape our attitude and our feelings about it. Events, the same way as objects or activities are simply neutral matter and they have both likes and dislikes, depending on what it means to people. Our perspective is the foundation of what meaning we give to the event or any circumstance, and depending on that we will feel about it in a particular way and will choose what we are going to do about it.

 

Perspective depends greatly on our beliefs. We have a choice to believe that everything that happens in our lives is in God’s control and everything happens for the purpose and for the better. We also may believe that there is no God, life is whatever events happen to us, it’s all about luck and most often life’s not fair. We may believe that with our decisions we can shape our destiny, and we may believe that all life’s events and circumstances are out of our control; therefore, it is meaningless to work hard and make the effort. We may believe that we are not good enough and are not really worthy of love and strong family, and we may choose to believe that everybody is worthy and can have it, so we do as well and we will have it when the right time comes. We may have a belief that we will not succeed anyway because we are not worthy of success or we are simply not as lucky as others, and we can believe that success is not a mere luck but a result of our efforts and we will be blessed and will succeed in everything we aim for.

These are just several examples of general beliefs about God, life, love and us as people, which shape our perspective.  Belief is nothing more than what we are convinced about, which we can choose as well. I cannot stress enough how critical it is to pay attention and choose your belief and perspective.

In order to show it better and make it more real, I will take my own life. The car accident that I was involved in was something that I could have never expected nor was I ready for such drastic event. I was 22 years old, and this event was a major turning point in my life and my family members. The result of that crash was that I lost a person, who I was dating at the time (he was killed), and lost everything that made my life fulfilling.  In addition to losing it all, having multiple injuries and losing both of my legs and having my left arm fully paralyzed, made me totally helpless and not able to take care of myself at all.  From being active, joyous and having strong potential to be successful in life, suddenly I found myself helpless in bed not being able to move or do anything independently, except see, feel and speak a little bit.  My life was changed overnight.

There were many different opinions on why it happened, questions about my destiny and advice what I should do with my life at that point. I have heard people had ideas that God has punished me. Others said probably this was my destiny and I should just accept it. “Such is your fate…he broke your destiny” was a very common conclusion, implying that I needed to accept it and give in because there was nothing I could do to get it all back or make my life better. I also had to hear advice not to try so hard pursuing my dream, because what I wanted was unrealistic. I disagreed with them all and decided to fight for my life because I had a different belief.

Today, one of the things I am most grateful for to my Creator is that from the very beginning I had a positive perspective about what had happened and faith of what my future would be like. I had unshakable belief that my life’s under God’s control and therefore, I will not fear. There was a reason why I got into this crash and also there is a purpose why I survived, even though I was given 30% to live.  I believed there must be a serious reason why this had happened. Even though I didn’t understand many things, but I believed there’s a purpose in everything and Lord was going to restore my life. I didn’t believe that this event happened for me to spend the rest of my life being in regret and depression, watching how my life passes by in sadness and restricted lifestyle.

I decided that I would not be a victim and wouldn’t spend my life continuously thinking about what had happened. I refused to be in self-pity or collect sympathy from others. The decision to restore my life no matter how much effort it would cost fueled me with unbreakable determination. I had a very clear understanding that my destiny was not going to be “broken” because of the event that had happened. I believed I could change my destiny the way I wanted and with God’s help that’s exactly what I was determined to do. I was going to live a full life in spite of my injuries. My understanding about it was so bright and clear, as if I were given a palette of paint, being told that I could draw only black or gray house, and I knew that I could use all the colors I wanted, and paint not only a house, but also blossoming gardens, green trees, colorful flowers, bright yellow sun, blue sky…

I did not know how my situation could possibly resolve to a better, but I knew that I would live well. I completely ignored people’s sayings “Such is your fate…” I did not listen to what anybody said about my position in life and their opinions about my goals that I wanted to achieve. I always had a vision of how I wanted my life to be, believed that it was possible to implement it and did everything I could do to make it become my reality.

I set the goals for myself, which step-by-step transformed my life from not being able to speak, move or do anything independently to traveling from Europe to the United States by myself and building my life all over again. I had a vision that I would live a fully active lifestyle in spite of my injuries, consistently worked toward my goal, and today I get to live my dream that seemed nearly impossible.

Now, after a while, I clearly see that if I also believed that God has punished me, I would have spent the rest of my life in misery, thinking that I would not have anything beautiful in my destiny. If I also had looked at my circumstances “realistically” as many did, I would not have even aimed for goals that I did. If I had agreed with people, who had their own beliefs about destiny and told me that I should just accept what had happened and let it be the way it was because such was my fate – probably I would still be spending my days being stuck at home having no access to a full life. If I believed that we can have only that, which circumstances allow, I still would be imprisoned by the walls of my home, watching how my youth pass by me and all I have is a dull existence.

My belief shaped the perspective that gave me hope and empowered me to take action to change my circumstances and create the life that I envisioned.  My perspective about this event and my future gave a birth to the attitude that I can’t and won’t give up on my life, but will take action to improve everything. My beliefs strengthened and encouraged me that I would succeed. I did not allow my loss to ruin my desire to live a full joyous life. Opposite, my loss gave a birth within to a burning desire to live and aspiration to achieve my dreams. I did not allow my desperate situation to destroy my faith. Opposite, my faith became stronger than it ever was. My adversity revealed to me the values that I never saw before. My belief and attitude made me strong, persistent and unstoppable.

 

As all of my above examples show, the same situation can have totally different outcomes, depending on which perspective we choose. Some beliefs are unconscious, and they come from people’s backgrounds, religious beliefs, experience, philosophy or other people’s opinions and their experience. We might be surprised how our beliefs are affected by other people’s beliefs or philosophy. Furthermore, based on that we make decisions that shape our lives. But the good thing is that we can change it at any time. If we are aware of our beliefs and our perspective, we can manage it and choose the response that will empower us.

If you believe that God does not give you more than you can cope with and there is a reason for everything, it will give you the confidence that you can manage it, and the solution is ahead of you. It will give you tenacity and encourage you to handle the adversity in the best possible way. After some time you might even see that particularly this difficult situation was for your good because it directed your life path toward your dream, it tested you, developed necessary character traits and gave you more wisdom. To be honest, I was shocked when I realized this in my own life. That’s why I am grateful today for all those hardships.

The quality of your life and your destiny is determined not by the events that take place in your life, but what you do afterward. While you do not have control over other people and a lot of times you do not have control over what happens in your life, you do have a choice of how you look at it all and what you are going to do about it. Depending on your perspective and decision what you are going to do next, you will have subsequent events and this way you shape your destiny.

Therefore, pay close attention to your beliefs and your mindset. What do you believe about the event that is going on right now in your life? What does this mean to you?

Choose wisely. And, Be Strong. Be Determined and Relentless. Be Unstoppable.

Blessings to you, until the next time.

Inga

 

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Thanksgiving. The Lord Made This Year Extraordinary.

Thanksgiving. The Lord Made This Year Extraordinary.

Amazing Things that the Lord has done in the past 8 months, made this year extraordinary. May these testimonies of how the Lord answers prayers and how He turns the impossible into possible, encourage you and strengthen your faith.

Thanksgiving is my favorite American Holiday because it’s the time when we can stop our busyness and think of what we are grateful for. As I reflect on the year that is about to end, I feel pure gratitude. It was an extraordinary year. Finally, I see my dream and my goals coming to a fruition. The vision that I had several years ago is turning into reality. The entire year is full of ongoing testimonies how God has a perfect timing, how he can change circumstances around like in a chess game and how He can perfectly arrange every detail in our lives.

The new year of 2017 began with focus and disciplined ongoing work continuing editing my book “Unstoppable”. On my days off from my primary work, I worked with the content up to 10 and at times 15 hours straight. It wasn’t easy. Interesting coincidence – I finished editing process a night before my move with a friend to a new apartment! With that, I opened a new chapter. 🙂

I am grateful for the new apartment that Anzhelika and I got. It’s quite a story how we got it, a testimony how the Lord can change circumstances. When I went to my Apartments manager to ask if I could move to a 2-bedroom apartment on the first floor, she said there were no apartments available, and there would be no openings in the near future. But I knew the Lord could re-arrange the availability and suggested to my friend to pray about it.  If there was Father’s will that we would move in together, He will make it happen. So we began praying for God to make apartment available for us if there was truly His will for us to live together. In my prayer, I also asked the Lord to arrange apartment that would have at least one room’s windows facing the West because I wanted to see sunsets in my home. It brought us happy smiles and astonishment  when despite manager’s assurance that there wouldn’t be any availability in many months and maybe even in a year or two, in 2 weeks one apartment became available for new renters – 2-bedroom apartment on the first floor and, it had all windows facing the West.:-) People are surprised why I don’t stop when someone says “No, it’s impossible”:) That’s exactly why – God whom I believe and worship has the last say in any situation. He can change any circumstances. We love our new home!

Anzhelika stepped out in faith and moved to Santa Rosa, leaving her secure job. Seeing how the Lord was leading us, blessing our work together based on the “Unstoppable”, and how He gave us the apartment, we decided to trust that the Lord would provide a job for Anzhelika in this area. Anzhelika, contrary to her personality of making sure she has everything securely lined up and in order, to her surprise she felt totally at peace, even though she had no idea where and how she would get a new job. And, the first miracle was instant – it turned out that her company had a branch office right here in Santa Rosa, and her employer did what they never did before – they allowed her to work from the branch office and work there as long as she finds a new job. Then, after weeks of searching for a new job, Anzhelika received an offer to join one company that she liked. When we prayed to the Lord about this new offered job, we told Him that we wanted to be sure it is from Him. ln order for Anzhelika to know this, we asked for three signs: the same or higher pay, the flexibility in her schedule in case she needs to travel with me for the “Unstoppable” and the last, that they would wait for her to return from vacation (the vacation could not be canceled). And, after the interview, Anzhelika told me the news – they offered a higher pay and much better benefits than she had before, she would have flexibility in her schedule and yes, they were willing to wait for her until she returns from vacation, even though there was another candidate for her position, who was more experienced in the field and could begin work as soon as the next day! So, that determined the decision.:-)

There was a valuable lesson in this. It’s easy to say “I trust God can provide” while you are in Church and have everything you need. But, it is not that easy to say it when you have nothing and to remain at peace, having unshakable faith that no matter how desperate it seems – the Lord will provide. I have experienced this time and time again, and now I got to witness it again – the miracle of how the Lord provides happens when you receive Lord’s revelation and direction to do something, you don’t wait for perfect circumstances to do it, but instead you step out in faith into the unknown trusting that God will provide, and do what you have to do. The Lord is never late, and He provides. Those who wait on the Lord and trust in Him will not be ashamed.

Then, On June 2nd I received the disABILITY Champion Award from California Human Development for being a role model to people with disabilities and all who seek to overcome obstacles to lead self-sufficient lives, and for vital support of CHD’s disABILITY Services programs through my work at Disability Services & Legal Center.  It was quite a surprise to receive a letter that I was nominated and chosen to receive the award. I never aimed for any awards or special acknowledgments. I just love life. And, I make a continuous effort to make the best out of what I have and improve my life, to fulfill my purpose. But it was thrilling to stand on a stage with the Senator Mike McGuire and receive the award. Thank you, CHD!

Then, my Mom visited me in California again. I was so happy to spend a quality time with Mom; living a half-way world away from my family is a very high price to pay for the life I’ve chosen to live. It was heartbreaking to leave my family and I long for them daily.  But, now we had fun! Thanks to Anzhelika’s family, we got to visit Yosemite. The majesty of Yosemite mountains and waterfalls are breathtaking! And then, for my Birthday, Anzhelika, Mom and I went on the adventure – luxury 10-day vacation in Jamaica! Exotic island, bright sun, turquoise water, palm trees, swimming with dolphins… That was quite a vacation, which will definitely stay in our memories forever.

When 17 years ago I woke up in ICU without my legs and with severe injuries throughout my body, I would have called that person crazy, if someone had told me that I was going to visit exotic Jamaica island and swim with dolphins.:-) I could not even dream about swimming with dolphins; it seemed beyond the possibility for numerous reasons. And now, when I was in a water giving a kiss to a dolphin Susie, it brought me to tears.

It inspires me to say – if your life had an adversity or even a tragic turn, don’t rush to make the conclusion that you are broken, that you will never experience delightful moments, or that your destiny is destroyed. Never give up on your life. You don’t know what the future holds for you and a lot depends on you. It’s not the events and it’s not other people that can ruin your life, but it’s your choice to give up. Choose life. Choose to fight for your life no matter how hard it will be. It’s not going to be easy. It will require relentless effort and a lot of times pain and exhaustion. But it’s going to be worth it.

Then, after delightful vacation and seeing off my Mom back to Lithuania, I went back to focus and disciplined daily work with the book, doing the second round of editing with another editor, and this time focus was on grammar and polishing it. I had to go through entire over 200 pages manuscript, checking every sentence, every word. After countless hours of work, on October 30th I submitted the manuscript to the publisher. Finally.. It’s hard to realize that it’s being in the process of becoming an actual book. It all came from an inspiration, from an idea. I never considered myself to be an author. Never. I had no idea how to write a book! But I followed the inspiration and did what I was inspired to do.

This project was quite a test of faith and my faithfulness to the work I had to do. It was 7 years of hard relentless work not knowing how in the world I was going to publish it. I had no editor nor did I have the money to publish it. But, I thought if the Lord directed me to do this, then He would provide and the editor and the money when He sees it’s time to publish it.

And here you are. When the time was right, the editor, who edited former President’s book and is an awarded writer,  showed up in my life through my work and he agreed to edit “Unstoppable”. I began praying to the Lord, thanking Him for bringing the editor, but now the question was – where the money was going to come from? I had no idea. But I knew the Lord could do the impossible, and I asked Him to provide the money to pay the editor and to publish it.

In several weeks, I met with a person with whom we haven’t seen each other for a while. After hearing the last updates on the book, he said he would like to sponsor the book publishing. I told him not to rush to this step because this was a lot of money. I suggested going pray about it first. A week later, he invited me to meet with him again. As we were having lunch, he handed me a check for $10,000, saying “I prayed about it and I know this money belongs to the “Unstoppable”. Go ahead, edit and publish it.” With my eyes full of tears, I accepted the check. And, got to work. Now the  “Unstoppable” is in a publishers hands. It will come out Ja-Feb of a New Year, 2018.

I am also so grateful that the Sonoma County fires did not reach our new home. At some point, we were surrounded by fires, and whichever direction wind would blow – the fires were going to get closer to us. I am blessed to have Anzhelika and her family, who were our shelter during the week of fires. We all prayed for the Lord to protect our home, and our home was not touched. Praise be to God… My heart goes to all families who lost their homes and everything you had. It’s heartbreaking. I would like to be helpful at least in some way so I will begin a Blog How to Recover After Adversity, where I will share steps that helped me to recover after the crash and other hardships I had encountered. I hope it will be a blessing to those who will read it.

 

And now, as we are about to enter into a new year, my friend and I are wondering, what 2018 is going to look like?  What’s next?

 

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Find a Gem in This Tale

Dear Friend,

 

Today, as I was working on my book doing last reviews, I was reminded of one story. It brought tears to my eyes when I first heard it. It associated with my personal experience and reminded me the secret of winning the game. The beauty of not giving up. It is a quite known tale about two frogs; I will re-tell it to you.

One sunny day, by accident two frogs got into a bucket of milk. They tried to jump out of it, but they couldn’t. They had no solid ground and sides of the pail were too high. One frog said, “Oh no! This is it. We won’t be able to get out of here.” The other one exclaimed “Let’s keep swimming! Maybe someone will see us and will help us. Somehow we will get out of here.”

They began paddling and tried to jump out. With no avail. After some time, the first frog said, “Swimming is of no use. We won’t get out of here no matter how much we try!”

“Don’t give up,” the other one responded. “Just hold on. Let’s continue making every effort. There must be a way!”

But it seemed like nothing they did seem to help. After several hours of paddling, the first frog said, “This is nonsense. There’s no point of doing this, we’re going to drown anyway. I can’t go on any longer.” And then he stopped paddling and drowned in the milk.

But the other frog kept on paddling. He kicked and swam in circles. He got so tired. All he wanted was to rest, at least a little bit. But when the frog stopped paddling to relax for a few seconds, he sank to the bottom of the bucket. His nostrils got filled with milk, he could not breathe. The frog was so scared and exhausted. It seemed that there was no hope. But then, he pulled all his strength that he had left, used his legs to push off the bottom and kicked with all his might to come to the surface. And then he kicked and kicked and kicked. The little frog was so tired. He had no strength and saw no chance to be rescued. No matter how much he tried to get himself out, nothing was working. Yet, he knew he could not stop and continued kicking, and paddling and swimming in circles, believing that somehow he will get out of that bucket.

And then, something happened. The frog started feeling something solid under his feet. Instead of sinking, he could stand.

Through all kicking and paddling and turning of the frog, the milk had been turned into butter. The little frog jumped out of the bucket.

 

Your journey might come to a point when you feel hopelessness.

You might feel that your efforts make no difference.

You might have sleepless nights, thinking that what you want is nearly impossible.

You may feel tired.

You may face obstacles that prevent you from achieving your goal.

But overcome those obstacles and just keep going. No one can break you down and stop you unless you allow it. Look for the solution until you find it. You will not find it only if you believe that there is no solution and will give up on it. Believe, there is always a way. You only need to find it.

When you face difficult times, remember that you have a source of strength. Seek for the strength in the Lord, for only He is an inexhaustible source of strength.

Always know that the pen is in your hands and what kind of story will be written in your life book depends on you, not on other people or some circumstances.

Do not give up. Never give up.

Inga

 

 

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Two Golden Rules that Changed My Life Experience After the Crash and in Many Circumstances…

Today I had a situation that reminded me something that I want to share with you. This changed my life experience after the crash, and it changes my experience in many circumstances.

Today there was one of those days when I was annoyed that I had to interrupt my work with my book and go to the kitchen cook a meal. The first thing I said to my friend – when the time comes, one of the first things I will do for myself – get a private chef so I would NOT have to use the precious time for cooking! (Those who know me well, know that I was never interested in cooking and don’t like to spend time in the kitchen.)

Then, my mind automatically reminded me one rule – golden rule – change the perspective. In this case, since I can’t hire a private chef ( yet :)) , I asked myself – what can I appreciate about this situation?

That same second, I realized how grateful I am that I actually CAN cook! It seems it was just recently when I was told that my left arm had a full irrecoverable paralysis due to the nerve injury in the car accident and I questioned how I would be able to live with only one hand in addition to having lost my legs, how I would be able to cook and handle the household duties with only one hand… And now I get to do it without even thinking about it!
Feeling of frustration began fading away. Instead, my heart was filled with gratitude that I get to do this meal.

Then, another golden rule came to my mind – never forget where you began your journey, what it was before you improved your life…so you don’t take for granted what you can do now.
That moment, I vividly remembered those times when due to traumatic injuries I was not able to do anything, then how I was learning to do things with one hand…how challenging it was to figure out how to cook meals, which require two hands. And today, I do those things with ease…I get to do practically whatever meal I decide to make. Now I was even more thankful that I get to make a meal!

And, then I asked what it would be like if you lost that which you have/have to do…that, which you are annoyed about?

That moment, my perspective about what I had to do suddenly changed, and I actually felt immense gratitude that I can cook! And, instead of being annoyed that ‘I have to do it’, I was glad I get to do it.
So, feeling sincere appreciation for what I was about to do, I made spaghetti with meatballs and mushroom sauce, while listening to some inspiring valuable audio, and my dinner was actually better than in the last two restaurants I had this meal. 🙂

I smiled to myself…

It’s all about the perspective, the way we view the world and things that we have to do. Perspective shapes our attitude and how we experience situations that we get to live.

When you can’t change your circumstances, change your perspective about it. Ask yourself a question that will make you look at that same situation differently, that would make you see it as a benefit for you, what you could appreciate about that situation.

It’s not the circumstances that make you feel in any particular way. It is you – your perspective and your thought focus – that shape your experience in given circumstances.

And yes.. never forget where you came from…where you were before you improved your life. So often we get used to the blessing and stop appreciating it, taking it for granted. We forget how fragile we are and it’s so easy to lose it all.

Life feeling grateful for what you have and what you can do completely transforms your life experience!

Blessings, Inga

 

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