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Feel defeated by problems and failed from past mistakes? Turn this around and make your experience work for you.

Happy New Year to you! I hope you enjoyed the beautiful Holiday Season, sharing your time with family and loved ones. And now, it’s a new year. It’s a new beginning. I noticed that in December more people have subscribed to my Blog. You made me smile, and I thank you for that!

As we all start a new year, many of us take the time to see what kind of year it was for us, and then we make new resolutions for the new year. This time I am inspired to write an article about how to deal with past mistakes or failure to achieve goals in a way that will empower you, instead drowning into gloomy feeling of failure and regret. Usually, among all the goodness and joy of success, life also has storms, and I want to share something that will empower you, if you did have some problems and failure to meet your goals successfully. Also, I want to share a resource about goals that will give you some ideas and insights how to actually achieve your goals and implement your New Year resolutions. This is a video with Michael Hyatt. I personally found this video very valuable, and you will see the link to it at the end.

But before looking into new goals and new resolutions, I wanted to share what I call a Self-Management tool that has greatly empowered me in my own journey. Every one of us go through trials, difficulties and we don’t always achieve all of our goals. Normally, looking back into difficult situations or goals that we wished to achieve but for whatever reason we didn’t, doesn’t make us feel good, right? 🙂 It may make us feel disappointed, upset, sad, failed and similar. Well, there is something you can do to turn this around. You still can feel the progress and and find the value when you look at your problems and failure to implement your goals. It is important because not having control over your own thoughts and feelings about your past mistakes makes a big impact on your esteem and confidence, which automatically affects your decisions and actions in the future. It all ties up in one unit. Our successful or not successful results greatly depend on our inner state. It is just one of the many key components, but is a critical one.

Normally, difficulties bring up negative emotions. Failure to achieve goals cause pain as well. But here is the trick: you will feel negative about it all only if you look at it from a perspective that makes you focus on the pain, hardship, failure and defeat. What if you look at it from a different perspective? Every situation has two sides of the coin –  good and bad.  You already know what the bad side looks like, and dwelling on it will only make you miserable. So, instead of focusing on the hardship and pain, asking yourself questions that bring even more pain, shift your focus on the other side – what is the value of it all?  Instead of dwelling on the fact that you did not achieve what you were aiming for or blaming yourself for making poor choices and wrong decisions, ask yourself questions, which will deliver answers that will  show you the value in all that had happened. Look at the good side of the coin and spend more time analyzing that side. You will be surprised what you will see! You will  see very valuable lessons in those situations. You will know what Not to do and what you can do better next time. You will have valuable insights. You will see what Lord was doing with your heart behind those difficult circumstances. You will learn something new about yourself. You will see testimonies of the power of prayer and unshakable faith. You will see a lot of good in all those problems and not achieving goals. I personally don’t even regret about tough times, because I see a great value in it all. I would not like to repeat it, but I honestly am glad I have gone through it and would not trade it now, because I see a lot of lessons that will greatly benefit me in the future.

So how to turn this around? First of all, ask yourself a question that will deliver you the answers that will empower you instead of the answers that will make you dive in to sadness and defeat. Ask yourself questions that will make you see the value in your experience, will equip you with lessons for the future and will give you direction what you can do to improve your circumstances and your strategy to implement your vision.

If you had made poor decisions or faced some tough problems, some of the questions you can ask yourself:

“What am I supposed to learn from this?”

“What insight does it bring to me?”

“What have I learned from this particular situation, which I would not have learned otherwise?”

“What purpose does this have in my journey?”

“What conclusions and lessons am I getting, so I know how to do better in the future?”

If you miss your goal and did not get to implement your vision, you may ask yourself:

“What can I learn from this?”

“What held me back from achieving it?”

“What do I need to change in order to get it this time?”

“What skills or knowledge do I need to acquire?”

“What can I extract from this experience that is beneficial for my future efforts to achieve my goal?”

Asking the right question will bring your attention to the value instead of the failure. Then, be in charge of your Focus. You will see that, which you choose to focus on. Are you going to focus on your poor choices and blame yourself for it, or are you going to focus on the lesson and the value this situation has brought into your life? Are you going to focus on the fact that you missed your goal and feel like a failure, or are you going to focus on the lesson and insights that you have extracted and will be determined to get it this time? This internal process will have a great impact on your inner state and your future decisions.

I am not saying we should neglect poor decisions and just be “positive“, pretending that everything is fine, no.  It is necessary to face the truth, but the purpose of it is to learn and see where we need to make changes, instead of blaming ourselves and feeling bad about it all. Make yourself a rule – the only reason for me to look back to my mistakes, wrong choices or not achieved goals is to seek for value in it.  It may sound like a cliche and too simple for it to do some big change. But please trust me, applying this simple rule will make a significant change in your life.

So, by equipping yourself with learned lessons from your mistakes and by extracting from them insights, empowering conclusions, understanding and new inspirations, you will grow. You will see that problems and tough circumstances can strengthen you. Mistakes can make you wiser and more insightful. All difficulties and mistakes can work for you, if you choose them to play this role for you.

And now, leaving mistakes, regret and pain behind, enter your new year with all valuable insights and lessons that you extracted from difficult situations and circumstances. At this point, you are stronger, wiser and better equipped to conquer your future challenges. This new year you will do better, because you have learned what Not to do and What you can do better. As you are starting your new year, imagine you just opened a new chapter of your life book, where you will write countless incredible testimonies of God’s love and help, new exciting changes, implemented goals and joyous experiences.

And here is the video about designing your 2015 by setting and achieving your goals. I found this video very inspiring and instructional. It has a lot of great insights and ideas how to set and successfully achieve your goals. Click on the link below:

http://resolutions.bestyearever.me/

Hope this brought you some value and empowered you to shake off the dust and set yourself up to win the game! Make your year of 2015 a significant one!

If you have other ways that empower you to deal with past mistakes, please post it below to share it with the rest of us. If you want to reach me personally, please feel free to email me at inga_unstoppable@outlook.com

May God bless you in your journey to have continued success!

Be Strong.  Be Determined and Persistent. Be Unstoppable.

Yours truly, Inga 🙂

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How to be Thankful when you Don’t Feel Like it?

How are you doing this Holiday season? I hope my message reaches you doing well. When I was recently invited to be a Guest speaker for the Thanksgiving season, it was interesting for me to find out that the reason I was chosen to come speak for this occasion was the same reason why I was invited last year by another group to come speak for their Thanksgiving celebration – they  wanted to know how I can be positive and thankful on a daily basis while dealing with pretty severe challenges having no legs and one arm. This inspired me to write a message about it on a blog.

During Thanksgiving we take a moment to think about what we’re most grateful for. It is a tradition on a Thanksgiving Day for a family to get together around a table, sharing what they are thankful for and having delicious food. On that day it feels like the atmosphere changes in the air, because on that day people make an effort to remember what they are thankful for, counting their blessings instead of problems. And then what happens? Another tradition is right at the end of that day – a famous Black Friday! On the very next day, and even that same night a thanksgiving mood and feeling of gratitude is often overshadowed by constant question on where to get the best deals, worries, stress, anxiety, full schedules and concern trying to find Christmas gifts and getting ready for Holidays.  Our focus is shifted into many other directions. Very soon we go back to our normal routine, and appreciation and gratitude of Thanksgiving Day is left behind. When we dive in back to our routine, facing problems and challenges coming our way, it is not always easy to feel a sincere gratitude, is it? Often times various events, people or situations that show up in our lives overshadows our joy and understanding how really blessed we are. It’s hard to feel gratitude when we have roaring storms around us.

 What can steal our gratitude? Usually it will be either some events that negatively impacted our life, bad circumstances or other people  that affect us in some negative ways. I sometimes hear people say to me “Well yeah, I am thankful for my life and what I have, but…” and then follows the complaint. Watching that person continue the thought, it looks like this thing that he complains about over-weighs all that he said he was grateful for. Can you relate to that at times? Before the car accident I definitely could. In fact, I did not even look into my life from a perspective of “What am I grateful for?” I never really thought of things that I was thankful for. I considered that my vibrant health, my physical looks, what I had and what I could do was supposed to be like it was.  It was just normal to me and it didn’t even occur to me that I could lose it all in one moment. Having all I wanted, I still would find various things that I was not happy about and constantly was sad about something. Now, even though I am missing nearly half of my body, I am very grateful for so many things that it overshadows my pain and  the loss I had in my life. I very rarely have “bad mood”.

How can this be?

First of all, my inner joy, hope, peace, endurance and inner strength comes from Christ. I receive it in a prayer and through faith. The Lord is my Rock and He is my main source of inner qualities that are so important to have. I always know that all things work together for good in my life. I feel thankful even for difficult situations, because I know they are going to work for my benefit in some ways. And I always smile when I see that it was truly for my benefit. I spoke about it last year when I was invited as a Guest speaker for Thanksgiving Celebration at Melhizedek Church in Sacramento, CA.  You are welcome to listen to the audio of it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McDj7vHYBxc

There was a time in my life when I realized that in addition to that incredible inner joy that can be received from Jesus Christ in a prayer, the peace of God that surpasses all understanding and His blessing on a daily basis, my experience in life greatly depends on how well I manage myself.

In addition to what I receive from God and my faith, I do work on myself. I believe one of the greatest favors a person can do for himself is learn to manage his own inner state. It is much easier to handle difficulties when we know how to choose our response in a way that will empower us to make the right decision what we are going to do next. Gratitude becomes a normal daily inner state when we know how to get it and how to manage our own feelings. We can have a positive attitude at all times when we know what creates it and how we can maintain it regardless of what’s going on around.

My biggest and probably one of the most significant eye openings was when I realized that my experience about one or another event depends on how I choose to look at it.  In one of my blogs earlier, I shared about how our perspective about events determine our response and decision what we are going to do next. (https://ingalizdenyte.me/2014/04/20/self-management-how-perspective-affects-our-inner-state-and-decisions/ ) An event is a plain fact, and your own choice of perspective will give the color, feelings and emotions to that event. I know, a lot of times it is hard to consciously choose perspective, especially when it comes to dealing with people who hurt you. Our life experience can be very bitter only because of other people’s attitude toward you, their words and actions that hurt you. There is a way to deal with it. But today I want to take an overall look about managing yourself, so you do feel grateful even if the storms of life a roaring around.

What is gratitude, thankfulness, appreciation or joy? All these are feelings, right? Sadness or worry are feelings as well. What does create either of those feelings? You. How? By thinking in a certain way. It is not the event and it is not people who make you feel in a particular way, but your interpretation and your focus. It is you who creates your own feelings. Your feelings follow your thoughts, or in other words your feelings depend on your thoughts. You feel excitement when you think of things that excite you and you feel upset when you think of what’s bad and hurtful, right?  You won’t be able get  into a depression if you focus on things that make you excited or on new opportunities or when you  feel gratitude about where you are in life. Same way, you may lose your inner peace that you received in a prayer if you start focusing on things that worry or frustrates you. You may lose your inner joy if you constantly think about that, which irritates and angers you. You give the direction to how you feel by choosing what you think about.

Your daily experience will be much different when you fully understand that your feelings are created by your own thoughts, and you are in full control of your own thoughts.

Yes, you can choose how you feel by choosing what you think. You can put yourself into anger by thinking about things that make you angry and make yourself feel uplifted by choosing to think what’s good in your life. I am sure you experienced numerous times this: when you wake up first thing in the morning, you feel peaceful and good. But then, when you are fully awake and remember some negative situation, your joy disappears. Then you start analyzing it and slowly but surely you start feeling irritated and not feeling too happy. It’s what many people call a “bad mood”. And you remain in a bad mood as long as you keep in mind your bad situation. Then, let’s say you have some unexpected pleasant surprise. What happens then? You immediately get excited and joyous, right? Pleasant surprise creates positive feelings and you feel great because this surprise took your focus away from the bad situation and shifted it to a pleasant one. Here is the trick: you will feel great as long as you will be focused on the pleasant surprise and beautiful experience it has created for you. But as soon as you go back into analyzing and thinking about that bad situation that you were thinking about in the morning, you will go back into your “bad mood”. Learn to control where your mind goes. It may not be easy at first. But just try deliberately choose what you think about. When you see that your mind wanders around and leans toward that which saddens, frustrates or makes you feel in any negative way – stop it and redirect it toward that which will be pleasant, lovely, hopeful, empowering or exciting. It will get easier with practice, just as everything else. Discipline is like a muscle.

Of course there are times when we might not see any light and not even hope to see the light. It’s hard to be positive when we are in difficult circumstances and have difficult problems or if we are in pain. But we still can be in charge of how we feel. You know what helped me to hold on in my most difficult times? Focus on the beautiful that I had and gratitude for it all. Trust me, it was really difficult, because at times it seemed like my life was filled only with the continuous loss, immense pain and dark despair. A lot of times it felt simply unendurable.  I was left with nothing to hold on to and there was no hope for a change. There was nothing that could make me feel better. Physical pain could be numbed by medicine, but emotional pain not. Still, there were times when after surgeries even morphine would not affect my pain and I was left to  suffer with no way to ease the pain. When I was barely holding myself from literally crying out loud from pain and despair, that’s exactly what I did to hold myself together – I searched for things I was thankful for. In my mind I was thanking God for saving my life, for my family, for friends who did not leave me, for the love and care that I was surrounded with. I thanked the Lord for I had my right hand and I could move my body. I thanked my God for those little opportunities even though they didn’t seem very promising. But I thanked anyway. Gratitude for what I already had and hope is what helped me to endure the times when I didn’t see the end of despair and agony. My endurance came from hope that this shall pass and God will deliver me out of this despair and it will get better. And I never let it go. Interestingly, the more I focused on what I was grateful for, the better I felt. The more I focused on what I was able to do, the more I could do. The more I focused on what I liked about a person, the better relationship I had with that person. The more I thought of how thankful I was for the opportunity, circumstances were changing into my favor. I don’t know the mystery of gratitude, but what I do know is that gratitude is very powerful.

The more you focus on what you are grateful for, the more uplifted you will feel. In fact, I found that gratitude is a very powerful tool to change how you feel. You might say “How can I feel grateful if I am  surrounded by so many problems and circumstances that just have no positive solution?”  In reality, you have so much to be grateful for. But you will not notice that if you are going to be focused on what’s not good in your life. It may seem to you that you have only bad things happening in your life right now and there is no way you can find something to be grateful for. But you relax…take a deep breath and think for a moment… Let’s go through simple things. You have what to eat and nurture your body. Maybe you didn’t like the dinner that much today, but you are not one of the starving ones, who wish to have at least a bite to kill the hunger. Instead of walking in the streets and pushing a shopping cart with all your belongings looking for a safe corner or a homeless shelter, you have a home where is warm and your soft bed with many pillows..   You are healthy. You have all parts of your body and you function well. How would you feel if you lost it? If you do have some physical challenges, do you know how many people are in much worse position than you are? You are not doing that bad after all, right? You have family that loves you and cares about you. You have friends that love and care about you… What your life would be like if you lost those who love you and you were absolutely lonely in this world?  So many times you could have gotten in a horrible car crash, but you survived and in fact you were not even injured. You wouldn’t want to appear in my position, would you? Look. You truly have what you can be grateful for.

The question is what you focus on.

 I want to share with you a very interesting experience that made a major shift in my life. I remember  or very well this special moment that was like a turning point in my life. I think it was about  7 or 8 years ago. At the time I recently moved to the United States. I lived in a beautiful land of sunshine California, but I felt very unhappy. Everything in my life seemed dreary, cold and dark. I did not feel happy nor was I even pleased with my life. I was on the bus going home from work. I did not want to go home. I did not want to see anyone and I did not want to do anything. I just felt empty and depressed. As I was driving and looking through the window, black thoughts were bombarding my mind. I did not see even one reason why I could feel happy or at least at ease. I caught myself feeling this way and asked myself “How did I get to this..? How in the world I got myself to the point that I feel so unhappy..?!” Suddenly, I felt this quiet gentle voice within me “Rise above it. Rise above all your problems and what you are not happy about. Inga, look at how much good you have in your life! But you don’t see it because you are focused on what doesn’t go the way you want it to go and you are constantly thinking about what you are not happy about. Rise above all you are not happy about.  Rise above your dissatisfaction and look how much good you have in your life.”  In my mind I envisioned myself going up and leaving behind all that made me unhappy. I left behind my dissatisfaction, my daily routine, household and job duties, concerns, problems, worries.   As I left it all below, here above it felt so good and bright. I felt at ease!  I looked at the horizon and I saw Success, Happiness, Joy and Victories of my goals to be achieved yet. I was so longing for the sheer joy and easiness… I was so longing for the excitement of moving forward and achieving the goals that were getting me closer to my ultimate vision.  The victory was ahead of me waiting for me to reach it, but… I stopped moving toward it. Just a while ago I had so many goals that I wanted to achieve. I was striving for excellence every time I did something. I had such a beautiful vision for the life I wanted to create! But I lost my vision because I switched my focus on that, which was right in front of me  – facts of today’s reality. I focused on the parts of my life that made me irritated, unhappy and annoyed. I was constantly thinking about that, which made me unhappy instead of what I have achieved and what made my life fulfilling and beautiful. I focused on what was not working for me instead of seeking how I could implement the vision of the life I wanted to have. I knew I needed to switch my focus back to my vision. I needed to rise above all that made me so unhappy, leave it all behind and move toward implementing my dream. I had to walk in faith – I had to see my dream to be achieved. I had to choose to think about what I wanted my life to be like and how I could realize that, instead of what I was unhappy about. I will not implement my vision and I will not be happy if I am going to dwell on what was not working for me. I needed to shift my focus.

This was the day when my depressed inner state turned around. It seemed like someone opened my eyes and I saw what I didn’t see before – my life truly was amazing and I had so much beautiful in  my life!  All of a sudden I saw how much good I had in my life. I came to the U.S. knowing only one person and now I had so many wonderful people in my life. When I decided to move to California, I had nothing except my suitcase, few friends and my dream, and now I do live in this absolutely gorgeous spot of the world! I move around independently, work, travel and enjoy my life just as I did prior the accident. When I decided to establish myself in California, I said to my family and friends that my next goal is almost as impossible as a flight to the moon, but I am going to try it anyway. And I landed! I literally live the dream that seemed nearly impossible! My life is just a miracle… I have so much more to accomplish and I have the opportunity to do that!  That moment I felt that all those details that made me unhappy could not even compare to all what made my life so beautiful. I could not believe I did not see it before! And I did not see it only because I was focused on what was wrong in my life. I was constantly thinking about what I did not like and what I was unhappy about. Since that day I stopped doing that.

I made the decision to put my effort into turning away from my constant thinking about things that I was unhappy about. I had too many good things happening in my life to waste my time and my emotions on the negative. I decided to focus on how much beautiful I have, what I have achieved so far and what I was going to accomplish yet. If there were situations that I was not happy about, instead of sitting complaining or being drown in dissatisfaction about it, I was seeking for the ways how I could improve my circumstances, so I don’t have to feel this way anymore. And I did not even bother myself thinking about some things that were irritable. That was a new beginning for me. In my mind I kept my vision of the life I wanted to create, consistently worked on my goals, and by achieving one goal after another I improved my life conditions and my circumstances. Today I live my vision. Of course life had and still has its own moments and unexpected “surprises”, but I always remember what that quiet voice gently told me.

Today I want to pass that message to you.  Rise above it…. Don’t look what’s in front of you. Rise above it and look ahead. See how much good you have in your life and how truly blessed you are. Think more about that, than about your  problems and difficulties. The only reason to pay attention at your problems is to evaluate situation and find a way to resolve it. So when you look at your difficulty, focus on its solution. When you are not happy about some person, think more about what you like about him/her? When you face the unknown, fight your fear with faith and take action. Focus on that which empowers you. And know that all things work together for good to those, who love God and are called according to His purpose. Just realizing this  will create attitude of gratitude in you, because you will know that even difficulties are for your benefit.

Thanksgiving is not something you feel once a year… it is an attitude you carry within you all year long. It is very easy not to even notice the blessings that we receive every day, when we are focused on what makes us feel sad or frustrated. Make it a habit for yourself every single morning to start your day and every night to end your day with reflection of what you are grateful for.   Very soon you will notice how your list of what you feel grateful for starts expanding. 🙂

Meanwhile, enjoy this beautiful Holiday Season. Enjoy your time seeing your family and loved ones!

Make your Holidays extraordinary!

Inga

 

 

 

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No circumstance is your final destination. It can be changed, even if it seems impossible

Dear my Blog UNSTOPPABLE Followers,

 I don’t know your names, but I address this message to each of you. I want to say my sincere thank you for subscribing to receive my messages. Especially I want to welcome you, who just joined me in a month of June. What a nice surprise it was for me to see that from 360 followers in one month it grew to 390! Thank you for joining me.  I hope you will get  some value from what I am going to share in my blogs. I know I haven’t posted anything since then, but I will continue on writing. If you felt that my English is not “proper”, it is because  English is my 3rd language. But, I hope you will not mind. 🙂  I believe the important thing is that you understand what I am trying to say, and the language will be improved with time, right? 🙂

  After overcoming personal tragedy and successfully building a new  life after  losing both of my legs and the use of my left arm in a car accident, I have a passion to help others implement their goals and change/improve their lives.  I want to share with you what empowered me to change my life and achieve goals that truly seemed impossible, so you and anyone can do it too, no matter what situation is in your life. My tough, but incredible life journey shows that it’s not what happens to us what determines our destiny, but how we respond to it and what we choose to do about it. At the same time, it is a living testimony of God’s power to restore the broken and turn the impossible into possible. My faith became stronger than ever before.  I am eager to share it with the world, so anyone can experience God’s incredible power, and be an over-comer, leading a victorious life. Since my passion is to touch many people’s lives by sharing my message to inspire, empower and strengthen faith in Jesus Christ, I want to ask you: If you know someone, who you think may benefit from my blogs, would you please share it with them. Sometimes our simple act or a good word might change somebody’s life..

Today I have a message to share that illustrates God’s restorative power and that It’s not what happens to us determines our destiny, but what we choose to do afterwards. Also I want to extend my invitation to you to attend the event, where I was invited to be the guest speaker. I know it’s nearly the last minute announcement, but see if you live in the area and would like and be available to come. Hosted by Love Your Life Ministries,  this event is dedicated to empower women to overcome and thrive, and it will be held on Saturday August 23rd 10:30 am – 2:30 pm  at Hampton Inn hotel, Ukiah, CA. Please see the details below or visit http://www.loveyourlifeministries.org/

As you may know, originally I am from Lithuania, EU. I was born in Vilnius, gorgeous capital of the country. I have been living in the United States since 2005. This June I had a very special event in my life, which made me realize again that no circumstance is your final destination, and that’s what  I want to share with you in this message.

This beautiful event was my Mom’s visit – she came to visit  me from Lithuania for the very first time. She came for a month (5 weeks) and we had a quality time together after 4 years of not seeing each other. Due to various reasons I was not able to go back to Europe, so this was quite a long time not to see my family. God made a beautiful and the best Birthday surprise for me – Mom told me that she had saved up money for the airline tickets and finally she felt confident that she could manage travelling alone across the globe to visit me. Out of my excitement, I nearly fell out of my “BMW” (my electric wheelchair) after hearing her news!  For many years I have tried to have her come, but she would respond to me very firmly “It’s too expensive and besides, having no English language skills, I will not be able to make this trip by myself” So now, when she told me that she’s ready to come, I immediately started making arrangements for her trip, being totally astonished by a surprise. I had a secret dream – to give my Mom the best vacation she has ever had, and finally my opportunity to make that happen showed up! It was just incredible to watch how all the details started coming together as if some invisible hand was putting it all together: the airline round trip tickets during the summer season had the least price I have ever seen in all my 10 year travel EU – USA, we quickly received a permission for her to cross the border (Lithuanian citizens do not need visas) and all the necessary arrangements fell into place just perfectly. My Mom was a little anxious to travel alone across the globe though, since she has never traveled out of the country alone. First, I  prayed for her for the Lord to watch over her and make her trip easy and smooth.  And then, I  encouraged her to push away all her doubts and “What Ifs” , and replace it with Faith and Confidence, saying to herself  “yes, I can and I will make it happen”, allowing absolutely no doubt. This situation brought me back 10 years ago, when I made the decision to go to California and establish myself in the land of sunshine. It was a little intimidating to leave my family and absolutely everything behind and  go all the way across the globe alone, having no resources or guarantees to implement my new vision. I had no place to live, not a lot of money, no work  and not even clear idea how I was going to take make it happen. I did not even have the right to live and work in America, and quite frankly, I had no idea how I was going to move around in the city in my manual wheelchair, cook and do all the daily tasks having no legs and only one arm.  But I had my dream. I had a strong faith. I knew several American people. whom I met during my first visit in the USA.  And I was ready to work hard to make my desire come true. All my doubts and the unknown I replaced it with faith, and I got on the journey, putting my trust on the Lord. That single  step that I made in faith was life changing – it completely transformed my life into a living dream. Now, I saw my Mom was facing very similar doubts and I knew that she  would have the best vacation she has ever had, if she would just make that one step forward….And she did!  Very soon I  hugged my Mom in San Francisco Int’l Airport with tears of joy and smiles. Knowing how fearful my Mom was to travel alone having no English skills, I knew it took an enormous amount of courage for her to do this. I was so proud of her… Just recently it seemed totally impossible for her to make that step. I watched my Mom having this indescribable sense of victory over her fear and enjoying the sweet fruit of it – she made it happen. She arrived to the gorgeous land of sunshine and finally re-united with her daughter. Her flight turned out to be very smooth. She did not even feel that her second flight lasted 11,5 hours! She very much enjoyed her trip and arrived well. In fact, after over 20 hour trip she had more energy than I did! 🙂

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Lord blessed every single day of her stay here in California. She finally got to see how I live independently, which was the biggest gift to her. I have been sharing with her stories and photos of my work, meetings with friends, travel times and various exciting experiences I had, but she could not picture how this was possible. What she personally saw were those continuous obstacles for me to function independently, and she could not even imagine how this could possibly be different. Due to the inaccessible apartment, for quite some time  I was not able to get out of my room, and she did basically everything for me.  For a long time I just could not take care of myself independently and especially do any household activities. Therefore, she could not imagine how I was able to take care of myself and handle household on my own, having no legs and only one functioning arm. Our apartment house did not have wheelchair accessible entrance, and the only way for me to get out of the house was for someone to carry me out on their arms. I hated it with all my essence, and for that reason I spent 3 years rarely leaving my home. After watching me being imprisoned by my home for several years, she could not picture how I was able to get out of my apartment independently. In my home city public transportation was not wheelchair accessible, and now Mom could not imagine how I was able to get on the bus and go to work or any place I wanted to go. Mom still had very dark memories of those first 3 years since the accident that were filled with never ending agony and hopelessness. I knew that just from seeing me living fully and being totally independent would make her trip worthwhile.

 The vacation turned out to be absolutely outstanding. Every day was beautiful and there were no unpleasant situations at all. Not even one. Every single day was like God’s  gift to both of us. One of the first things Mom got to see was how I function independently, which made her feel speechless  at times and relieved. She saw how accessible California was for the wheelchair users, and now she understood why I was so eager to leave everything behind and move to this country – here I can live just as independent and as fast pace lifestyle as everyone else, regardless of my physical condition. She saw me independently  taking care of myself, cleaning the apartment, cooking, doing the laundry and taking care of any household task or whatever I needed to do. She saw me going out with absolutely no obstacles, using public transportation and  going to any place I wanted to go. Now she saw it all. I was handling daily tasks with no obstacles and she even had a hard time getting used to the fact that I did not need help, as it used to be. She experienced that, which seemed absolutely impossible – I live as independently and fully as if I didn’t have any physical limitation.  That was a confirmation for her that it was the right decision for her and my Dad  to let me go when I told them that I had decided to move to California, across  the globe from our home,  to establish my independent living. Being astonished by what she saw and experienced, Mom kept repeating to me that California was the perfect place for me to live. I saw how stress, worry and pain slowly were leaving her. Instead, daily I saw a smile and her joyous eyes, which I was so longing for…  In addition to the gift of her being able to see that I live fully despite my physical challenges, she got to enjoy Californian sun and  see the breathtaking beauty of California, which absolutely fascinated her. She also got to meet many wonderful people, which showed to her that I was not alone here in America.

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 There were countless moments that will remain as a beautiful unforgettable memories to both of us.  Among them, there was something that struck me and made me realize once again that no circumstance is our final destination. It all can be changed, even if it seems impossible at the time.

As we were driving around visiting places, in my mind I would stop and think to myself  – What a difference from the time when I started my tough but incredible journey! It was hard to believe this was really a true story, even though I myself am the main character in that story.:) After the car crash I was involved in Feb of 2000, my Mom was right there with me just as she was now, but everything was so different.. Due to the traumatic injuries I suffered, I was unable to eat or move independently for a while.  Mom was feeding me through the straw the half-liquid meal that she would prepare at home and bring me to the hospital.  She would help me to sit up from a lying position and  transfer me into the wheelchair. She would help me to dress up and  would roll me in a wheelchair outside in a rehab center’s area to give me the opportunity to have some fresh air…. We were in the unbearable anguish and shock, wondering how could I possibly continue my life being in such severe physical condition. The circumstances at the time were absolutely hopeless and the future did not promise anything better. There were so many sleepless nights and tears out of despair and fear of unknown…  And now, we were again together, but what a different reality! We were across the globe  from our home in the beautiful land of sunshine California! We were driving along the majestic Pacific ocean and seeing breathtaking views of the coast. We were walking in the beautiful city of San Francisco, crossing famous magnificent Golden Gate bridge and visiting worldwide known places! We were enjoying the stunning views of San Francisco and surrounding islands while we were cruising on the ship in the Bay area!  We were visiting gorgeous vineyards and spending time with wonderful people. Our days were filled with laughter and sheer joy and experiences that will remain unforgettable beautiful memories! We both had the best vacation we’ve ever had! What a dramatic incredible change! 

This is exactly what I decided to implement  14 years ago right after my accident – to live fully despite mLedson2_1y physical limitation. There were many suggestions for me to accept my “new reality” of me being “disabled”, because it looked like that’s my fate. I heard that God punished me and should just live with it. I also heard numerous times that my goals were beyond my reach and I would face a big disappointment if I would try to implement them.  At the time I didn’t know that my dream would bring me all the way to California 🙂, but I knew that my life must be different than me spending time in some rehab center or watching how my most beautiful days of my life are imprisoned among the four walls of my room. While I kept hearing “you are out of your mind, it’s impossible, you will never be able to make this happen”, I took action to turn my dream into my reality. I had a different belief and I was determined to make it happen regardless of what other people thought or said. I always had my sight on my vision, not on the obstacles. And I consistently moved forward, putting my trust on the Lord. I knew that with God’s help I would be able to make it happen, because with God all things are possible. And now, as my Mom and I were driving along the Pacific ocean, we agreed that the accident was not the end, but only the beginning of my life story…incredible story that the Lord has orchestrated. Where would I be today, if I had decided that my life has no future and would have given up..?

 

By writing this message to you, I want to ignite faith in you that you can make your vision become your reality. I am saying this not just to say it, but I myself have lived it and I know it can happen in your life as well. Your current circumstances can be changed if you are not happy with what you have today. I  encourage you to take that step, which may be even life changing.  

If you are experiencing joy and success in your life – it’s very exciting and I smile with you. 🙂 Enjoy it and know that you can go even further; the sky is the limit to all that you can do. Better yet, your success will taste even sweeter to you if you reach your hand to those, who need your help to achieve their success. It will make you fulfilled beyond what you can ever experience by making yourself successful, trust me.  

If you have a vision that you would like to turn into your reality – go for it. Your dreams and desired goals don’t have to remain your wish. You can bring it all to life. I learned that we can achieve even what seems impossible, if we truly desire it, are ready to pay the price of our work and persistent efforts, and have unshakable faith. Having a clear vision, empowering perspective and consistent action you will arrive to your desired destination.

 If you are experiencing difficult circumstances – know that  you can change it. You do not need to settle for whatever life brings along. You can change it. No circumstance is your final destination. Your further life does  not really depend on the event that had happened, but it depends on what you are going to do about it. And if today you are where you are in your life because of your earlier made choices – by making different choices today you can turn your life into different direction.

You can make incredible changes in your life if you make a decision to accept the responsibility, and do whatever it takes to implement your vision, while putting your trust on the Lord. Look at it this way – you are the author of your life story. You can pick up the pen and change your further story. You can change it at any time. Even today. Even this moment can be fateful to you, if you make a decision to open a new page and start writing in it what you want. This is your life. This is your story, and nobody is going to create it for you, except you. Realize that it depends only on you and the Lord God how you are going to continue your life. If you feel stuck and don’t know where to start, answer these  questions:

What needs to be different, what would make you  feel happy and satisfied with your life conditions?

What are the possible ways to bring it to fruition?

What action can you take to turn your vision into a reality?  What action are you going to take?

Where do you have to start, what will be your first step?

And when are you going to make that first step?

I asked these questions myself years ago, and they began my beautiful journey. 🙂

 Be determined and persistent. You may meet obstacles that will prevent you from moving forward, but don’t stop. Work toward your goal until you achieve it. The only one who can stop you is You.  

Do not be afraid of unknown, but make the first step forward in faith. My Mom made that  step and she had the best vacation she has ever had… 🙂 And finally, after 14 years of ongoing agony from that devastating event and the fear of unknown, she was able to take a deep breath out of joy and easiness. Now, her tears were from her sincere joy. She told me that now, after this visit and experiencing my current life, she will go back to Europe feeling at peace. She feels like she has broken through the chains of pain and sorrow, leaving it all behind. It’s a new life now for her. She saw what a significant role has played her decision and determination to break through her fear and step forward. Where would she be today if she had decided to listen to her fears and not travel? She would still be in pain and the unknown. 

I personally made that first step in faith and it literally changed my life.

 Make the step forward. Change your circumstances. Change your life.  

  

Please join me at the event, Empowering Women to Overcome and Thrive!​ It’s a great opportunity to meet new women, and make new contacts for your businesses. In addition, you will be Inspired and Empowered to be the best you can be! For your inspiration,  I will share my true story of how I was able to transform my life after the tragedy and then, I will share practical tips and strategies that empowered me to stay strong, overcome obstacles and systematically achieve goals that seemed just impossible. It’s $27, and if you bring a guest, it makes it only $13 per person. (No one is making money at this event, the cost is to help organizers to cover the expenses of putting on this event/lunch ) RSVP is required for planning purposes. Thank you, and I look forward to meeting you there!

Check-out the flyer, and you can reserve a spot by visiting http://www.loveyourlifeministries.org/

 

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Adding the value to the world

People have different purposes in life, different interests, different businesses, different lifestyles. But every person has something in common – we all have faced a painful event in life on one or another level. Problems and difficulties is the same part of life as success, joy and everything that we consider good. There is a big difference though how people deal with it. We all know stories of people, who handled problems and challenges well and we also know stories of those, who let go of their dream, gave up on the relationship, gave up on the project they were working on and even gave up on their lives, because they could not handle the pain and the challenge.

Nowadays, there are so many people, who are deeply disappointed  and wounded, exhausted and lost hope after encountering some painful events in their lives. Many are stressed out, lonely and depressed after facing some serious troubles in their relationships or businesses. There are so many, who after experiencing some tragic events or health issues are deeply depressed and on a verge of giving up, because they feel powerless to improve their situation.  While many speakers add a great value by  teaching how to become a successful entrepreneur or create an abundant life, I want to add a value to the world by bringing the message of hope, sharing my personal life’s testimony of God’s power to restore the broken and turn the impossible into possible.  Along with that message, I want share some Self-Management strategies that will help people feel empowered and handle their challenges, overcome obstacles and resolve problems.

I offer Speaking and Group/Personal Life Coaching services. My niche is  How to get back up after the painful event; How to overcome obstacles and challenges and move on creating the life you desire; How to make a change in life and achieve even that, which seems impossible. Some of the topics are:

  • Share my personal life testimony of how with God’s I help was able to transform my life after the devastating car accident
  • How to get and maintain inner strength. How to trust God. Rely on Him
  • How to create a vision and successfully achieve your goals
  • Finding the empowering meaning to the circumstances and look into the future
  • How our perspective determines our inner state and decisions. The importance of carefully choosing the perspective  and having control over it
  • How to get out of depression and maintain empowering inner state
  • How to overcome challenging difficulties and obstacles
  • How to deal with problems in life in a way that strengthens you and empowers you to resolve them in the best possible way

When I was 22 years old, I was involved in a car accident that ended tragically. One moment completely changed my life. I lost everything that made my life joyous and beautiful, and no longer I had my legs nor could I use my left arm.  I was not able to take care of myself anymore and did not know how I would be able to continue my life.  Praise be to God, my tragedy turned into a beautiful testimony of God’s power to restore the broken. Today, I feel happier than I was before the car accident. Since the accident though, I had to face variety of obstacles and challenges on a daily basis. As I continued my life journey, having my vision and unshakable faith that I was going to reach my dream, I learned to handle the pain, overcome obstacles that prevented me from moving forward and handle the challenges in a way that they worked for my benefit. I got out of deep depression without medication  or psychological help and learned to maintain empowering inner state at all times. As I was moving forward, I kept achieving goals, which ultimately transformed my life from being helpless and a depressed to moving across the globe by myself and creating a joyous and fulfilling life.

If I can add a value to you, please feel free contact me: Inga.Lizdenyte@gmail.com

http://www.ingalizdenyte.com/

Regards, Inga Lizdenyte

 

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