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Tag Archives: Committment

Commitment vs Trying

I just had a class Commitment vs Trying at International Coach Academy, and once again it reminded me that  it’s not simple conversations or thoughts about what would be nice to have or achieve will help to implement our vision or achieve some goals. It is a commitment to our goal. It is Not giving up when we face the obstacles, challenges or problems that come into our lives. It is not being discouraged when the facts show that our goal is nearly impossible. It is a commitment to do whatever it takes to achieve the goal and to realize the vision that we have. There cannot be “Trying to do it”. When I hear people say “I will try”, I automatically respond “Don’t try. Just do it.” 🙂 Trying is a state of mind when you allow the possibility of not making it happen. The danger having you “trying” is that deep inside you already have the fear of not making it happen, and you might let it go once you see big obstacles. If you truly want something – there is no trying. You either do it or don’t do it. It is giving a 100% of yourself. It is Not allowing anybody and anything to stop you. It is a non-negotiable decision.

 

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Don’t stop

When you go home through the harsh rain and wind, you don’t stop in the middle of the way because it is cold and difficult to walk, right? You keep walking because you know where you are going, and if you just keep moving forward, you are going to get home,  where it’s warm and cozy. In fact, you hurry to get there faster.

It’s the same with life. Hold your sight on your vision and keep walking in spite of the life storms. Don’t stop. Keep moving forward knowing that you are going to reach your vision soon or later.

 

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The detail that will greatly impact your outcome

What makes a difference why sometimes people overcome pain and obstacles and sometimes don’t? This question has been on my mind for quite a long time.
 As I was going through my challenges the first several years since the accident, I never really analyzed what made me do what I did and what helped handle the pain and overcome obstacles that made my vision look nearly impossible.  I just knew I would never give up on my vision and would not allow anybody to talk me out of it. I consistently moved forward in life breaking through the obstacles that I met on my way. I had my sight on my vision, was holding on to my faith and would not let anything to stop me. Only after I implemented some of my biggest goals, I started thinking about what helped me to go through my toughest times and reach that, which seemed impossible. Especially it made me think about it once I started hearing people say “I’m not as strong as you are”. Listening to them, I would ask myself “Why do they think they are not strong enough to handle their situation or that I am stronger than they are?  
The truth is that it is not that I am stronger or better. It is what I decided to do after I had the crash. Observing people’s comments, I see that it seems to many that I handled everything easily because I am “naturally strong”. Well, No it was never easy. Never. At times the emotional pain was just unbearable. I do get those hits on the ongoing basis.:) and No it is not easy. Sometimes it seems that the further I go in life, the stronger hits I get. But I keep going.  I am committed to my outcome and I do not allow myself to give up on it when it gets tough.  Often I say that problems either break you or make you stronger, and it depends on you what result you are going to have. I learned something very powerful that I use to handle whatever I have to face. There are several things that are important. It is like only by putting numerous various ingredients you can make a cake.:) But today I am talking about the detail that greatly influences how we feel and how we handle unfavorable situations.

 

I shared in my previous post that faith is my strong foundation and it is the main source of strength to handle it all.  Faith set the mindset that empowered me at all times. It gave me the hope and strength to move on no matter how desperate my situation seemed to be.

 

There is another critical part to it. It is the power of how you communicate to yourself about what happens and what you are going to do about it. Observing myself and other people, I started seeing that how things turn after unfavorable event happens, most of the times depends on how we look at it. Why? That’s where our journey starts either toward winning or losing the game. The reason being why it is so crucial is because depending on how we interpret the event and communicate to ourselves our ability to handle it, we will feel either low self-esteem or even helpless Or strong and empowered, and That will determine what we are going to do next. Would you agree that we choose different action when we feel helpless and doubtful, and when we feel determined and empowered? 

 

Having the same event, you have two choices of how you look at it and what you say to yourself. Is this a punishment or is this a lesson for you? Is this a loss or an opened opportunity to have new and better? Does this situation show you are not capable or does this situation show there is an area where you can improve yourself, so you can do better next time? Is this a dead end or a challenge for you to find a way because you know there must be a way? Is this too much for you to handle or not? Your first choice to say to yourself is “I am not strong enough to take it. This is too much for me”. Second choice – say to yourself “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and so that means I am strong enough to take it.  And I am strong enough not just to cope with it, but I will take it with courage and with God’s help I will win the game”. Would you agree that communicating things that empower and dis-empower you, will deliver totally different result in your life?
So it is important to be careful with how you communicate to yourself about what happens, and what you say to yourself whether you can or cannot get the outcome you want.
Which mindset are you going to choose? It depends what outcome you want to have in your life. You are the one, who decides how you look at things and what you think about. We cannot control events that happen in our lives, but we can control how we look at it and then what we do about it.
So, be strong and choose the perspective that will empower you. You will see a big difference!
 

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Stay committed to your decision and never, never give up

Greetings to Everyone, and Happy New Year!

I am new to the blogging, so this is my very first posting.:) 

 As we start our new year, I want to encourage everyone to be committed to your dream, to your purpose, to your desire. In the beginning of the year a lot of people set big and small goals that they want to accomplish. It became a tradition to have New Year resolutions, which everyone enthusiastically talks about. And then life takes its course by having disappointments, problems, and unexpected turns. It’s not the New Year resolution, which you made on a New Year’s Eve that will get you to accomplish what you want. It is a commitment to your goal. It is not giving up when you face obstacles, challenges or problems that you will meet in your life. It is not being discouraged and doing it anyway when you see that your goal is nearly impossible. It is a commitment and not giving up on your dream that will get you to where you want to be. 

..When I realized that I have lost my both legs and that my left arm was irrecoverably paralyzed, it seemed that every tiny fraction of my being screamed out of pain “Why! Why it had to be so cruel?!” I was shocked. I was scared. I was lost. It was a car accident that turned my life around when I was just 22 years old. My boyfriend was killed, and I almost lost my life as well. When I perceived my condition, I found myself not being to move or speak. In addition to the fact that I lost both legs, my left arm was paralyzed, I had other multiple severe injuries, which resulted me being able to just open and close my eyes. This crash completely destroyed everything that made my life beautiful and exciting. I lost my exciting career and activities with my friends, and everything that I was doing. in addition to that I lost half of my body and became confined to a wheelchair. From being healthy, beautiful, confident and active I woke up being weak, helpless and totally dependent on other people. I was blessed to have my family and friends, who were there with me and for me. But I had to face a very cruel reality. I was only 22, and had to accept what happened and figure out how I was going to continue my life. I decided that I was not going to blame my boyfriend, God or destiny for what had happened. I understood that blaming, crying and idol dissatisfaction about what happened will not change anything, nor will it improve my situation. I knew I had to fight for my life. I completely refused to accept people’s suggestions to give in because this is my destiny. I said to them that with my God’s help I will create the destiny I desire. I will do whatever it takes to change it all and I will live a beautiful life in spite of it all. So…after I healed I started my journey, fully trusting that with God’s help I will recover my life. I was walking through the valleys of tears and pain.. There were so many times when it seemed impossible and I was tired, disappointed, hurt and had no strength to take another step in life. So many times my circumstances looked at me ironically smiling and said “You have no choice. Just give up” So many times I heard people saying that what I was trying to accomplish was impossible and should just give up and do something different. But I had my vision and deeply trusted that my God will help me to get through it all and I was ready to do whatever it takes to realize my dream. I still would make an effort to take another breath, get up and take another step. And then, I took another step…and then another one. I have fallen down many times and got hurt. I felt discouraged again and again. I did have to face fear and hear suggestions to let it go and accept my circumstances the way they were. But my Lord gave me strength and I again would make another step… I had a vision that I will live a full active lifestyle in spite of my injuries and worked toward my dream goal.
It was a long tough journey, but I arrived. I set the goals for myself, which step-by-step transformed my life from not being able to move or speak to travelling across the world by myself and building my life all over again in a foreign country. Today, having tears of joy I say that I literally live my dream that seemed impossible.  I live across the globe from my family, live by myself and take care of all the household matters by myself, work, travel, have a lot of wonderful friends….just live an amazing life. It is scary to even think about what my life would be like, if I gave up…?

 … Success is not just a random thing that drops out of the blue sky. Success is a result. Determination and persistence are required in order to achieve anything in life. You have to be as a drop of water that by consistent drop polishes and finally breaks down the rock. If you don’t have a successful result right when you want it, it does not mean that you never are going to have it. Maybe you just need to put a little bit more effort in what you do. Or maybe you need to change your approach. How would you feel, if after giving up on your dream, you would find out that all you needed to do was find out a little bit more information and think a little differently to figure out how you could implement your desire? What if you had achieved it if you pushed a little further, a little bit harder? Or..maybe you needed to just take a one more step…? Try again and again. Know that there is always a solution; you just need to find it. Try until you reach it. You run, walk, take step after step, crawl. It doesn’t matter how fast you will move, but do whatever it takes to keep moving forward. And there will be a day when you reach your finish line and will smile… You have achieved it anyway. And where would you be..if you gave up?

 Lastly, I just wanted to say…. really, the easiest way is to sit and complain, blame someone else for your problems or to say to yourself and the rest of the world “Probably this is my destiny” or “I am not that strong” and just simply go along with whatever life gives you. It is easy to stop fighting and give up. Giving up doesn’t require any talent…nor it needs the effort.. Usually this is the choice of someone, who seeks for an excuse why he lives the way he does instead of making an effort to take charge of his life and make the change. It’s the choice of an easier route, but this way a person can waste many years of a beautiful life being in pain, hate and anger.

 It requires a lot of strength though to look up and say that life is going to be good in spite of all. Yes, it requires strength and courage. It requires determination to look straight into the eyes of occurred problems and fear, and say that you will change your circumstances and you will live your life the way you want. It does require perseverance and patience to go against the stream. And only those, who really have a desire to win in life, go against the stream if they need to. They don’t allow negative emotions take over and dominate. They do whatever it takes hold on to their faith and hope that will show them the path in the dark and will give them the strength to move on. Yes, it is not easy, but it’s that kind of people that are able to change their circumstances and create the life that they desire..
So be strong…keep moving forward and win.

~ Inga Lizdenyte

 

 

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