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How we respond will determine what’s next

Happy Monday!:) We have another week ahead, and who knows what’s lying ahead of us, right? Life is like a cocktail that contains various situations. But whatever is ahead not necessarily have to determine our future. Today I want to share with you something that greatly impacted why my life has turned around from a nightmare into a sunny day 🙂 and what helps me to deal with obstacles as I go. Simply think of it this way: you always have a Choice what you are going to do about an event or situation that occurs in your life whatever situation might be. We cannot control outside events, but we can control how we look at it and what we do about it, and Yes it will greatly impact what’s next.

When you face a challenging situation, what do you do? Are you going to allow your fear and doubts to have control over you and make the decision for you OR are you going to look straight into fears eyes and step up forward anyway? Are you going to sit and complain about how bad it is and how hard it is for you OR are you ready to do what you need to do to overcome the obstacles that make your situation challenging? Are you going to give up when it gets really tough OR are you going to persist and go through it all until you reach your desired result? You are the one, who chooses the answer, and your choice will determine where you are going. Stay strong and make a choice that might not be the easy one, but will make you win. Have a great week!!

 

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Commitment to your vision

Commitment to your vision
This week I was reminded about one of the ingredients that went into my life pie.:) Remember, in my earlier posting I said that just like you need numerous ingredients to make a pie, it takes several important things to handle various unfavorable situations in life, overcome obstacles or achieve what you want,?:)
One of the things that helped me to get through the most challenging times was a Commitment to my vision. I did not “wish” a better life. I had a burning desire to have a better life. I wanted get back into active full lifestyle and I was committed to making it happen.

Goosebumps go through my body when I remember those years, when I was training to walk with artificial legs. It was exhausting work and endless pain. Every step I made felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife. Still, I was learning to make those steps, just so I can walk again. After walking for 1.5 hrs, my thighs were swolen, covered with bruzes, sores and even opened wounds. I would put the medicine and the bandage on the sores, and would train again. My decision to walk again was non-negotiable. Even though realistically It seemed impossible for me to walk and I was told so many times I should just leave that alone and take a different strategy for my life, I kept training and going for my dream. I was so committed that I did not even listen to people’s opinions nor did I negotiate with pain, my mood or daily “want and don’t want”. The time came when I did reach my dream. I did walk. There is no way I would have walked again, if I was not fully committed to my dream.

When 8 years ago I decided to go to California to see how I could establish myself in this beautiful land, I had absolutely no means or guarantees to implement my idea. I did not have a place to live, did not have a lot of money and did not have a job. I did not even have the right to live and work in the country. I knew English pretty well, but I hardly understood Americans. In addition to that, I had no idea how I could move around independently in the manual wheelchair, cook meals for myself with one hand and just generally take care of myself being in such physical condition that I am. The idea of living in California seemed very exciting, of course, but I was in a very tough position – I had absolutely no resources to make it happen. I had my faith in God, several Americans who loved me, my suitcase and a dream.:) That’s how I started… I put my faith in God and myself I was fully committed to make it happen regardless of how much effort and work it would take. Today I live the dream that seemed nearly impossible… In fact, I have more than I could have ever dreamed of…

The interesting thing was my mindset: when I decided to go to America. I did not go to “try” establish myself there. I was going to do it. I did not leave any alternative to myself. I knew I would live in California before I even flew down here. I had no idea how I could possibly implement my desire, but there was no doubt that I would succeed. Yes, it required determination, devotion, hard work, and persistence. I was very blessed in whatever I did and was protected from evil, but it did take a lot of effort and hard work. Of course there were times when it seemed I would have given away anything just so I can be at home in Lithuania with my family and friends. But I knew I could not just drop everything and leave.The full commitment to my dream pushed me forward through the difficult times. My commitment to the outcome moves me forward up to this day, and I am holding that standard.

…The obstacles, challenges and various problems will come into your life, whether you want it or not. But if are truly committed, you will overcome it all. There might be the facts of your reality that ironically smiles at you saying that your goal is nearly impossible. But if you are truly commited to your vision – you will find a way to realize it.There cannot be “Trying to do it”. Don’t try. Just do it. Of course it is necessary to be wise about the decisions, but the truth is that you must be fully committed if you are going after some big vision, because obstacles will show up without a doubt. It’s what you are going to do when they come will determine your result. Trying is a state of mind when you allow the possibility of not making it happen. Commitment makes your decision non-negotiable. You will achieve what you want, because then you will be absolutely determined to do whatever it takes to realize your vision.

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The detail that will greatly impact your outcome

What makes a difference why sometimes people overcome pain and obstacles and sometimes don’t? This question has been on my mind for quite a long time.
 As I was going through my challenges the first several years since the accident, I never really analyzed what made me do what I did and what helped handle the pain and overcome obstacles that made my vision look nearly impossible.  I just knew I would never give up on my vision and would not allow anybody to talk me out of it. I consistently moved forward in life breaking through the obstacles that I met on my way. I had my sight on my vision, was holding on to my faith and would not let anything to stop me. Only after I implemented some of my biggest goals, I started thinking about what helped me to go through my toughest times and reach that, which seemed impossible. Especially it made me think about it once I started hearing people say “I’m not as strong as you are”. Listening to them, I would ask myself “Why do they think they are not strong enough to handle their situation or that I am stronger than they are?  
The truth is that it is not that I am stronger or better. It is what I decided to do after I had the crash. Observing people’s comments, I see that it seems to many that I handled everything easily because I am “naturally strong”. Well, No it was never easy. Never. At times the emotional pain was just unbearable. I do get those hits on the ongoing basis.:) and No it is not easy. Sometimes it seems that the further I go in life, the stronger hits I get. But I keep going.  I am committed to my outcome and I do not allow myself to give up on it when it gets tough.  Often I say that problems either break you or make you stronger, and it depends on you what result you are going to have. I learned something very powerful that I use to handle whatever I have to face. There are several things that are important. It is like only by putting numerous various ingredients you can make a cake.:) But today I am talking about the detail that greatly influences how we feel and how we handle unfavorable situations.

 

I shared in my previous post that faith is my strong foundation and it is the main source of strength to handle it all.  Faith set the mindset that empowered me at all times. It gave me the hope and strength to move on no matter how desperate my situation seemed to be.

 

There is another critical part to it. It is the power of how you communicate to yourself about what happens and what you are going to do about it. Observing myself and other people, I started seeing that how things turn after unfavorable event happens, most of the times depends on how we look at it. Why? That’s where our journey starts either toward winning or losing the game. The reason being why it is so crucial is because depending on how we interpret the event and communicate to ourselves our ability to handle it, we will feel either low self-esteem or even helpless Or strong and empowered, and That will determine what we are going to do next. Would you agree that we choose different action when we feel helpless and doubtful, and when we feel determined and empowered? 

 

Having the same event, you have two choices of how you look at it and what you say to yourself. Is this a punishment or is this a lesson for you? Is this a loss or an opened opportunity to have new and better? Does this situation show you are not capable or does this situation show there is an area where you can improve yourself, so you can do better next time? Is this a dead end or a challenge for you to find a way because you know there must be a way? Is this too much for you to handle or not? Your first choice to say to yourself is “I am not strong enough to take it. This is too much for me”. Second choice – say to yourself “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and so that means I am strong enough to take it.  And I am strong enough not just to cope with it, but I will take it with courage and with God’s help I will win the game”. Would you agree that communicating things that empower and dis-empower you, will deliver totally different result in your life?
So it is important to be careful with how you communicate to yourself about what happens, and what you say to yourself whether you can or cannot get the outcome you want.
Which mindset are you going to choose? It depends what outcome you want to have in your life. You are the one, who decides how you look at things and what you think about. We cannot control events that happen in our lives, but we can control how we look at it and then what we do about it.
So, be strong and choose the perspective that will empower you. You will see a big difference!
 

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Can you move forward by going backwards?

Everyone has various events that hurt us. I’m sure all of you experienced pain because of some daily events or people, who hurt you. Usually we dwell on that for some time, thinking about it right? 

Can you move forward by going backwards? Same way, you can’t move forward in life, if in your mind you keep going back to what had happened earlier. The past events now are only the facts that cannot be changed. It’s a “historical” fact.:) Also, going back to them in your mind won’t make you feel better nor will it empower you. In fact, you make it only worse for yourself, because by constantly thinking about your unsuccessful attempt to accomplish something, who hurt you or what you have lost, you re-live the pain over and over again. 

 Your faith, empowering attitude and actions that you choose today can make a change. By focusing on what you have today (forget what you have lost or what you cannot do!) and how you can improve your circumstances can change the direction of your life.  Your past events cannot determine how you feel nor can it determine your future, if you decide not to dwell on your past, but move forward creating the life you truly desire.  Take care, and… step forward, not backwards.  

 

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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